Pay to attend party?

Carmina_Piranha_3

you (bandraoi) said what i was going to. a trip to a theme park is a trip, different to a party.

we often do this in my family - tell a group of family and friends that we're going to alton towers for birthdays if they feel like joining us. i don't pay for anyone else, not even my nephews because it's a trip - not an actual party. does that make sense?

my sister was planning a trip to disneyland paris last month and even though everyone else was up for it i said no because we couldn't afford it.

r.mac_2

Gosh - when I was little my mum and ada threw me lots of birthday parties. Most were hvaing my friends round with a party tea that mum made and we played party games.

When I got a little older I was allowed to have friends over for a video and a sleep over - mum and dad paid for the video rental and provided us with popcorn etc.

One year they held a party for me and my sister at a soft playroom - so that cost them money, but they paid the hire charge - they didn't ask each childs parents to play with them.

I think you have done the right thing by declining the invitation.

Carmina_Piranha_3

sooz if you put 'no gifts' you might find you get a fiver in a card off 30 kids instead ... just warning you

murphy mentioned something along those lines recently about kids parties and lots of people thought 'no gifts' was cruel to his child :rotfl:

sooz

Carmina_Piranha wrote: »

sooz if you put 'no gifts' you might find you get a fiver in a card off 30 kids instead ... just warning you

murphy mentioned something along those lines recently about kids parties and lots of people thought 'no gifts' was cruel to his child :rotfl:

you're probably right. What I guess I will end up doing is carefully noting who gave what, hiding 80% of the gifts from him, and recycling them to other parties he goes to :eek: ...trying to make sure we don't give the giver their gift back!

bobsa1

I've got to say I think £15 is a cheek as well. I wouldn't dream of charging for a party.

My DD had her 4th b'day party yesterday and we had it at the leisure centre. 20 guests and cost £120. I normally do at home parties for this age, but currently off work with depression so made more sense to pay for peace of mind, if that makes sense.

She has some lovely gifts but I think like me losts of mums get stuff in the sales as quite a few debenhams things have appeared!

I aim to spend £5 per gift and that seems the usual amount around here.

Primrose

I think it's cheeky. It's still basic good manners that if you want to throw a party, you pay for it. This kind of behaviour is one of the reasons people are living beyond their means. If you can't afford to do host your own party, don't do it, because it's actually a form of moral and emotional blackmail on your friends who should be the last people you should be doing this to.. The only parties you should have to pay for are those organised by organisations and groups where everybody pays for themselves. Probably a lot of other mothers feel similarly pressurised. It takes a brave person to stand out against the crowd, but perhaps somebody should and then everybody else will be happy to stand alongside you.

splishsplash

I'm loving this thread! This is my first post on this board, but I had to join in!
I can't believe that someone would actually defend the mum asking for £15 'admittance fee' to a child's birthday party. I've hosted parties in various venues over the years, from theme parks to bowling alleys to swim parties, and would have choked rather than asked for a financial contribution from my childrens' guests.
Likewise, if I'd had similar requests from other parents - my children would've stayed at home, and the parents would be made aware of the reason for non-attendance - that would be the principle, not the cash.
On many other occasions, we've hosted parties at home, and we had free admission to those parties also:rotfl:
We cut our cloth to suit our measure, a saying the OP's host might do well to familiarise herself with.
I'm so glad your son was ok with not going, OP. I would still feel compelled to share my disgust at the whole idea with the mum co-ordinating the event (well, that's really what she's doing - you couldn't call it hosting, could you!)

sarahlouise210

I honestly could never ask for any contribution to a party - I love doing a party and always spend a bit too much !! If I wanted to organise a TRIP to a theme park then I would discuss it with parents first before letting the children know. Giving a child an invitation that asks for money is just cruel - I feel sorry for the birthday child as well as no-one will be going to their birthday !!! If it was a TRIP..then maybe its a good idea as you only have to pay for one child and not your whole family.
In reply to the too many presents questions - one year I put n the invitations that no presents were necessary but if they felt they MUST give a token present then a small gift token would be appreciated. This way we ended up with vouchers for a variety of shops that could be used throughout the year instead of a whole load of presents in one go. In reply to "do you send thankyou cards" - I always attach a personal thankyou for coming card to the party bags.

Carmina_Piranha_3

i agree that a trip should be discussed with other parents, and children should only be invited of their parents has agreed to pay the cost - and to let their child go. i have said mine wouldn't have gone before he was ten and i even went on the trip with the holiday club, he was a few days off his 8th birthday then. there were 2 other parents there. the other 47 parents thought their kids would be fine

is the OP transporting her child to the theme park and back? what if she has other children that would have to come in the car with her, how upsetting for them to drive to the door of a theme park where they can actually see the rides, but not be able to go in. what if the OP doesn't have a car and can't provide transport?

inviting kids to a party they can walk to or get the bus is one thing, but theme parks don't tend to be in town centres.

NAR

sooz wrote: »

I want to write on the bottom of the invites, 'no gifts please', as I am really looking forward to the party, but dreading another 30 plastic toys invading our lives. He has more than enough already.

My OH says this will sound really bad to those invited (like we don't want their presents, or they aren't good enough etc), and also our son will miss out. I feel he's already having a huge party, presents from us and family, and he really doesn't need another 30 gifts.

What about something along the lines of "A large number of guests have been invited and we sincerely would like your presence, but do not expect any presents."