Money Moral Dilemma: What should I do with the inherited money that I feel guilty about spending?

sheslookinhot

If you feel guilty about spending it, donate it to an appropriate charity.

MillyMooster

I have had similar feelings about suddenly having some money.

Decided to open a Credit Union account to act as a slush fund should I need some easy access money, but also as a way to support others needing low cost loans.

busiscoming2

I too had a small inheritance many years ago. I wasn't close to the person nor was it a relative but I still have some of the money saved. I replaced the windows in our house with part of it but feel it was wrong spending 'someone else's money' that they worked hard for.

I don't think there is an easy solution but don't spend it until you feel happy doing so.

Zuzzonja

I can imagine how you feel, I found myself in a similar situation when my father passed away.

If you buy something substantial, meaningful, and long lasting, like a car (or putting the money towards the deposit of a flat, in my case), you have something tangible to remind you of them, that will likely stay with you for a very long time if not forever.

Regardless of what you choose to do in the end, I sure hear you when you say that you'd rather have them back than any inheritance in the world. All the best.

bikaga

Assuming you really do need a new car:

Would it use all the money?

Could you use some of it for a down-payment and save the rest?

Could you see it like a "loan to yourself" from the deceased person that you can "pay off" into a savings account over time (cheaper than car finance)?

Could you use some of it for a rail pass / a car club membership / an e-bike / leasing for a while?

Jemma01

Failing to see why this is a moral dilemma? OP is still grieving.the loss of a loved one.

I'm really sorry for your loss, unfortunately not spending the money won't bring your loved one back. I suggest you hold back until you truly need the new car (when you have no choice) and think of it as their present to you that makes you feel their presence with you every time you use it.

MSE_Kelvin

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/comment/81872598#Comment_81872598

Hey @Jemma01,

Thanks for your response.

The MSE team did discuss whether this was actually a Money Moral Dilemma, and we came to the conclusion that while it's a stretch, it's not completely unconnected.

We also thought it's likely something a lot of people experience when they're left something by someone they care about that isn't really talked about, so we were hoping it might be of some help to other MoneySavers who are also having a tough time.

Hope that helps explain why we decided to go with it.

Cheers,

MSE Kelvin 🍻

BikingBud

It is not advised if there are other family members, siblings, involved or if you have any children.

We know it might be enough to purchase a car so it is not a trivial amount, perhaps you could consider buying something that you could enjoy now and could be passed down to the next generation so they can fondly remember their older relative.

i understand that your financial needs might be for more tangible things to support life but you seem blocked on spending this so do need to consider how it might best assist you.

twopenny

Would you not remember the person you were close to with fondness every time you got in the car? A treasured memory and a smile? Have a photo of them there.

I remember people for the oddest things they would never expect. My lovely aunt who showed me how to fill a hot water bottle correctly, my grandmother when I buy a new gadget (she loved them) my mother when I read a funny poem and grandfather when digging the garden.. Being remembered is the oddest thing and what we hope for.

I agree put the money in savings until you can deal with this.

Newly_retired

My daughter and my niece each bought a comfortable chair with the money their Gran left them. Very fitting, I thought.

I bought my husband a desk, as a thank you ( from my inheritance ) for all the help and support he had given me in clearing my parents' house. Now that he has died, I have given it to my son, for the same reason.

Both lasting gifts.