Money Moral Dilemma: What should I do with the inherited money that I feel guilty about spending?

Finecitygirl

When my favourite uncle left me a small inheritance, my old car was absolutely on its last legs. When I was ready I used the money to buy a newer car and have a photo of him tucked in the sun visor. He now comes with me on every trip. I know he would love this and I’m fondly reminded of him and grateful to him everyday. Maybe that helps?

Tim11111000111

Sorry for your loss. You are grieving and these feelings are entirely normal.

My suggestion is that if you need a new car (which, as you say, you do), just buy one. And then every time you get in the car, you can take a moment to remind yourself that you were able to buy the car thanks to the love and generosity of the person you have lost.

As tributes go, something tangible you use regularly and that makes a meaningful difference to your life is, IMHO, a pretty good one. Of course, depending on the sums involved and you car requirements, you don't have to spend all the money on a car - if you want to give some to charity, or leave a sum set aside as a nest egg/rainy day fund, or buy something more permanent as a memorial (a car won't last forever), then those are all fine ideas too.

I would also caveat that, depending on how dire the "need" for a new car is, there's nothing wrong with sticking the money in a savings account for a few months and giving yourself a bit of time and space to grieve before making any big decisions.

squirrel59

Chase easy access pays 4.5% for the first year (I think 2.25% of that is bonus), which will give you time to decide what you want to do.

BillawillaB

If I was you, for the time being, I would invest the money in premium bonds. That way you keep the money but will maybe win something some months which you can spend and feel happy about. We enjoy checking each month if we have won. Everything however small is a bonus. this month I won £25 but we have had much bigger wins too. My husband won £5,000 last year. We do npt have the full amount we could invest which is £50000 per person.

Great_Crested_Grebe

An inheritance is really simply a gift in someone's will. Perhaps you can reframe it as their final gift to you?

Whatever you decide, take your time. Put the money to use earning interest until then.

JayD

When my mother died, I used the inheritance she left me to buy a conservatory. I know she would want me to have something that gave me and my family pleasure. I feel sad that she isn't here to enjoy i with us too but I know she would be so pleased that I spent the money on something that I wanted.

When my mother in law died, we spent the inheritance on replacing our old windows. Again, we know how pleased she would be for us to have spent it on something we needed.

Of course, give yourself time to grieve - but if you need a car, think how happy that person would be that they were able to make your life a bit easier.

I am sure they would not want you to feel guilty and not spend the money they took the trouble to ensure you would receive..

Technosaurus

I'm in the 'death industry' for want of a better phrase and this particular feeling is very common. I had it myself after my Mum and Dad's deaths and have a similar issue with my wife recently. It does usually pass. And I explained it to her thus:

There are so many people out there who don't inherit anything after a death, they just have to live with the grief and try to get by without any form of financial windfall. As such, inheritance is something offered by your loved one to make your life in some way easier when they are not here.

To put it clinically, I saw my inheritance as a sort of "compensation" for going through the grieving process, a compensation that many others simply don't get. Whilst I don't know the correct word (maybe there's a German word for "fortuitous outcome for something that I wish hadn't happened in the first place"), I made peace with it being my parents way of looking after me after they'd gone. And it certainly made my life significantly easier in the long run.

Easier said than done I appreciate, and of course grieving process doesn't end with a cheque, but take your time deciding - if it's still so raw that you'd rather not spend it, don't spend it. Wishing you all the best

jedav

I inherited some money from an aunt, and each of my parents. I played the violin, so I bought a bow in memory of each of them. The bows each had a character that suited the person in whose memory I bought them.

MissMoneyPincher

Mom left me money to buy a car . It has taken me 2 years to do it but finally I have a lovely car and I am sure that mom would love it . Don’t make any rushed decisions while you are still grieving. You will know when the time is right . In the meantime invest the money and let it earn a bit of interest until you are ready

ader42

Spend it on special keepsake jewellery