Money Moral Dilemma: What should I do with the inherited money that I feel guilty about spending?

dirtmother

You don't need to do anything with it right now other than put it in a sensible sort of deposit account and there it can stay.

But here are some ideas:

A properly drawn up will of your own, powers of attorney and such like

A life membership of something that will give you tangible benefits. I was given life family National Trust membership in memory of a grandparent, it has been brilliant.

roubiliac

Send it to me and I’ll spend it and in ten years I’ll have no memory or record of ever receiving it…

Superfi

As long as you are in this place, pop it into a secure savings account. You'll know when it's the right time to use the money. Follow your gut feelings.

Rocketdogroya

buy a serviceable 2nd hand car to cover your need and save the rest until your mind is clear enough to make a decision without guilt.

There was obviously a lot of love between you and your loved one from your comments that they left you a substantial enough inheritance. It may take quite a while for you to feel at peace enough with the situation to act. but do not feel like you 'should' do anything. Grief is personal and only you know how you feel. If you do need to know that spending your inheritance is not disrespecting their memory then they chose to leave that money to you knowing you and your situation, meaning they were informed when they left it to you and would want this to help your life not complicate it.

curlywig73

It's not clear exactly what you're guilty about. Is it the fact that you feel that it's someone else's money, and therefore not really yours? Is it the fact that you only have it because someone died? (sorry for your loss by the way) Is it that the car would use all the money up and you don't know if you should be doing something more "worthy" with the money? Is it that you are thinking of a brand new or fancier car and feel like that could be a bit extravagant compared to a used one?

Advice will vary depending on how you've already got your life set up. If you don't have a car at all and having a car means that you can apply for jobs further afield or away from transport links then that can only be seen as an investment in your life. If it's also going to bring enjoyment outside of work because you'll use it for leisure travel, or to ferry the kids about, then that's also a positive.

I think, from the way you're talking, that it's too early to do much just yet. I'd advise parking it in a savings account (shop around for best interest rates) for a few months while you really think about the options.

What I absolutely wouldn't do is feel guilty or stressed about it all in any way. Would your relative (or whoever left you the money) be happy to know that it was bringing you feelings of guilt or stress? No, they wouldn't. They'd just be content to know that you were adding something positive or enriching your life in some way now that they themselves don't have any use for the money.

So pause, explore your options, and simply appreciate the gift.

middlewife

I'm with the others. No need to spend it immediately. Cars depreciate rapidly. My mum died 2 years ago. I gave half the money to my kids, 2 used it to do further study, 1 put it towards a house deposit, the youngest has saved it.

Within a year I'd had an accident and spent half my portion on private shoulder repair. A year later,the rest is going on hip surgery as I've damaged that too and didn't fancy an 18 month painful wait. I can hear my mum saying " always look after yourself", so that's what I'm doing.

Missy15

I recently inherited some money from my very elderly parents, I am not young myself now either😞

So my situation is probably a bit different to yours.

However being pragmatic, the person you loved would still be deceased whether they left you money or not.

I did some cosmetic changes to my house, which I get pleasure looking at on a daily basis, but have put the rest in various accounts to earn interest for a year, whilst I decide what to do with the rest.

It will probably be used for regular trips to family abroad and treating them, as it's not a new house or luxury trappings amount of money.

But it's more than I have ever had in a lump sum before!

I know my parents would not want me to fritter the money away, nor do I want to, but I also know they had protected their money to benefit me and my sister, and would want us to enjoy it!

Life is too short, we wanted our parents to spend their money, but due to various factors they chose not to, then unfortunately could not due to I'll health.

Spend some, and save some, or if the car you need costs the lot, do it, but try and get a little something as a permanent memento as well. You can then look at that and say thank you to your loved one and remember them with love.

PennysIntoPounds

My heart goes out to you and I'm so sorry for your loss. If a new car would make your life easier, think how happy they'd be knowing they were able to enable that! You could put little touches of 'them' around in it so it's continuing your bond whenever you drive- whatever is to your taste but some fluffy dice if it would have made them smile, a playlist of songs that give you good memories, a dog blanket or somesuch in their favourite colour, a scent that makes you think of them, etc.

I promise you have no need to feel guilty, you will be taking their gift and their love forward in your life to make sure their memory lives on

Jibraeel

Buy a car and put their photo in it. That way, they'll always be with you.

2702

Take your time. Your loved one would only wish you to be happy. Buying a car that you need and get a number plate with either a name or date or whatever sounds like a good idea. Just when you want to no hurry. You could put the money in a savings account until you decide. Over time things do get a little better and you do have lots of good memories.