Investing in Us: Holidays, Health, and the Road to £150k

debtfreewannabe321

Morning all, lazy morning finally ☀️ 😀 I feel like I've not had one in a while 🙈 (prob a couple of days in reality lol).

We got a Mr S last night, it was nice and quiet in there and we got a fair few YS items as we got there at the right time. Doesn't leave much for next week's last shop of the month but we do have around £70 so could be possible.

Plans for today are to see my friend but she's messaged with a possible put off till next week message because she needs to pop out so I'll stay put in a warm dressing gown and cup of tea in hand until I hear back.

DP bonus is due very soon. We were chatting yesterday and we'd like to not start our newly married life in lots of debt so we are strongly considering using it all to pay off the debts we've accrued with the wedding and Paris trip and a few other little things that went on.... 🫤 This means no holiday again this year but the debts are stressing me out. We spend a lot on them every month because they're spread across different things. I also feel it keeps me stressed because our monthly outgoings are higher than they need to be. If I need to go off sick I don't feel comfortable with the amount of outgoings currently. Plus we remortgage next year and I'm worried about the jump from our 2.49%...

He will still have his personal loan but it's more the smaller debts I'm concerned about. I feel we're always always on a back foot with not quite enough coming in to pay for absolutely everything we need and want so we pay for it on cc and then end up owing from wages forever more. Meh. Just a moan I suppose, we put ourselves in this position and we'll have to get out of it.

I will have a very nice garden by summer so there is that to enjoy but I was craving beach and sea.... Blue seas that are warm with fish in not the grey dirty cold ones we have near to us… okay moan over.

No word from DS yet. I think I will send a carefully worded message to him to ask him to come to me directly from now on so that I can get rid of ex from my phone. I think it will feel like relief to do this.... That will be one of the stressors in my life dealt with.

I've not written a letter to work yet about reducing hours, unsure how to broach this one. The counsellor was right, I'm a people pleaser (until someone crosses me). It probably does need to be done, I will feel trapped until I have either left or got some time back for myself.

Still cannot remember what the other thing was I was supposed to do/ think about. 😆 I think it was probably along the lines of doing something for me...which is why I've immediately forgotten that one.

I'm hoping the sun comes out soon as it looks windy as anything out there...then I can go decide where I'm putting my new pear trees 😃🌳🍐🍐

Queen_of_the_Hive

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/comment/81953018#Comment_81953018

My dad is a waste of space but have a lovely stepdad. Glad your DD has a better role model in her life.

KajiKita

I'm confused, I thought you already had an agreement with work about reducing your hours (from September maybe?). Did I get that wrong?

Also, what are your qualifications? Toot your horn here!! 😊

KK

daisy_1571

I think it is a good plan to clear everything off with the bonus. Gets you starting straight each month. Instead of paying money out to repayments, that money is going towards future bills and expenses meaning you have the money there for the bill and expense. Meantime its earning you a little interest rather than paying someone else interest.

Then get your thinking cap on about how you can get a warm beach holiday for the smallest amount of money - where is your closest warm beach? How can you get there? Will it be easier/cheaper to go to a warm beach slightly further away if there is a cheaper way to get there ie cheap flight to Spain compared to driving in France. What about getting a train monthly ticket. I kjowvtgry do them for young people but I think there's a lot of older folk who go travelling that way too. What about hiring a camper van in France, thats your accommodationsorted now just the petrol and campsite fees? Would Jersey or Guernsey fit your criteria? What about Cornwall (think the sea may be cold but im not sure). Beaches up north on the west coast look amazing, very tropical, beautiful colour of sea, quiet beaches and hunnersof islands to explore but it'll be freezing cold sea lol 😀 and probably take you longer to get up here than go south of course 😆 🤣

Queen_of_the_Hive

Hey @debtfreewannabe321, just caught up with your diary!

Sorry to hear you are struggling with your health. It does sound like the new doc and the councellor are on to something. I really hope you get to feel better soon and regain an inner peace. Stress, anxiety etc really do suck.

Really took a lot of pleasure hearing about your wedding outfit shopping, your selected dress sounds lovely. My kids actually have been encouraging me to get married to OH. They loved their dads wedding and have a bit of thing about it. I'm still sat on the fence on this one, happy as I am. My sister recently announced she's got engaged and her wedding is in 2028 so have a bit of time to slim down! Good luck for your big day in May!

PS - had no idea there was a big yellow near Meadow****. Will be getting out to explore sometime soon.

debtfreewannabe321

@Queen_of_the_Hive mine too. I never had a step dad, my grandad was probably the best role model out of a bad bunch of uncles and my other grandad. So I knew what a good role model should look like. My partner reminds me of him ❤️.

@KajiKita quite right I did reduce my contract from full time to term time. This means I work only 39 weeks a year I think it is, rather than 52 (and booking time off) however it's still 37-40 hours per week I'm doing which is just too much for me. I'm really struggling with it and continuously limping through to the next holiday or weekend.

I used to teach meditation, along side the tarot I used to do I kinda had a bit of a life /spiritual coaching thing going on. Confidence, lockdowns, divorce, peri meno, cost of living allowance kinda came together to make it not work any more for me. I am absolutely myself when doing what I love, which is helping others, living more aligned spiritually. ..and that's probably how I fell into my current role as I help those in need but it's just not quite right for me. I'm quite a gentle soul even for all the raging I do about ex and other people 🤣🤣 and I just feel things too deeply and take on everyone's stresses and problems like they're my own and I feel drained all the time.

@daisy_1571 yes the more I think about it the more I think it's right we do pay it off and as for holidays I'm so used to a package holiday I don't know where to begin with anything else…I should do some research because we probably could pull a bit of money together to manage something.

~~~

So I went to see my friend. I had a serious knot in my stomach about half way through from her stress levels - I was picking it up. Felt ill / dizzy/ was feeling that glitchy feeling at one point and thought, this is it, I'm actually going to black out this time not just continually feeling like it. I went outside and said I needed something in my car and just breathed. Deeply. Really wasn't the energy I needed 🙈🙈🙈. Anyway I'm home now. I hope she'll be okay as she's super stressed with the funeral coming up of her husband..I let her rant and moan about family issues and i tried to help her have a bit of a tidy around and make some decisions and advise when she was just in a flap about everything. It's awful and I couldn't really do much which was adding to my stress. We've been friends almost 40 years and although I despised her husband (very abusive and controlling) I feel for her. I'll keep in touch on messenger until the funeral is over next week. Doesn't help she has kids. One young so she's stuck to her like a shadow 🫂 poor things.

Okay I'm going back out soon I need to collect a parcel and I'm off to the sauna too with dp. Also need to call DS1. He rang when I was at my friend's house. He has been offered a place for a course at a very good economic school in London but it's quite an expensive course, it doesn't give him a Bachelor's or masters just a piece of paper to say he's done the course...he wants me to help him decide whether it's worth having because of the name of the uni on it. Or not. I'm not sure. Army pays some way towards it but he will have to pay a few grand himself. Seems expensive to me for no qualifications... anyone on here have any thoughts on this?

redofromstart

Does that bit of paper bring him any closer to a specific career or role? Is it a professional qualification that counts for anything? I started by looking at the jobs that I wanted and what the essential things were and then I worked backwards to make sure I wasn't wasting time, energy and money on things that didn't get me any closer to my aims. In my profession a 'business' degree is nice to have, but the actual professional qualification and three years experience is the essential thing to be considered for most roles. For me at least there are a lot of random expensive courses provided by colleges that claim to kickstart a career but actually have no direct relevance or exemption towards the professional qualification. I used to see a lot of 'trades' CVs where ex forces people had done a course but had no practical experience which made them a difficult candidate to sell to a manager who just wanted time served.

In a nutshell, get him to look at job adverts for the role he does want, is that specific qualification listed as essential or desirable?

Watty1

Great advice/comments from redo

My only add would be how transferable would it be. Employers recognise BSc or MA or whatever - they tend not to recognise other qualifications (writes she who has a weird diploma on her CV!)

beanielou

Agree with paying of the debt if it’s stressing you out so much. Does DP get a bonus once or twice a year? That aside I think you already know you need to also slow down outside of work. It seems like you never ever stop. 🤗🌸

debtfreewannabe321

Thanks for your thoughts @redofromstart @Watty1 he has 7 years experience in his job 🤔 he's aware the systems used are different…I.e in the civvie world we use python in his world he uses something designed by them. Unsure if those kinda things are transferable (and he is actually doing a course on python now to help.) We had a call with him just before we went out and I let DP talk to him, he essentially does the civvie job to DS army one.

I've no clue about any of this myself 🤔🤣 I just listened to them talking and that's all I garnered from it. He's also looked at Oxbridge they do the same courses across them all. So basically, I think, the long and short of it is, it feels like they're cashing in on their name. If he pays extra and does another three months apparently it can be moved to a masters level...which I feel would be better and worth it. He wants project management. It's what he's already been doing so his expectations out here are quite high for salary and expectations. I'm hoping he won't be disappointed.

@beanielou sadly one bonus this year or that would have been nice and easy we use one for the debt and the other for the holiday 🤣🙂.