Investing in Us: Holidays, Health, and the Road to £150k

KajiKita

I am so proud of you right now!! Well done and it comes as no surprise to us that your boss is impressed with your work! 🤩❤️

KK

Humdinger1

Congratulations @debtfreewannabe321! Sounds fab. What news of new starter? I know the situation isn't just about her but she's making a major contribution to your stress levels, no?! Love Humdinger xx

Watty1

What a great result from speaking up. Well done for being brave enough to do that - and - awesome boss for reacting in such a positive manner.

Queen_of_the_Hive

Sometimes speaking up is therapy in itself. You sound like you have a good boss and being seen and heard is a big deal. Hope the hours come as you want and need them to be. Pinkies crossed new temp is gone soon too.

debtfreewannabe321

Thank you 🙏🏻

@skint_spice @daisy_1571 @beanielou @KajiKita @Humdinger1 @Watty1 @Queen_of_the_Hive

So newbie has gone to docs for a fit note. No clue as to how long it will last for. Boss has said she will keep us informed as she understands how much anxiety it was causing me now. She's also said if newbie tries to come back she will send her via occupational health first because, after talking to her on Monday, the boss thinks she is not fit for working with students, employers and the team around her. So I think the long and short is she might not come back.

I had usual team meeting this morning with boss and she updated on the above situ and so that's as much as we know for now. She seems to be transparent with it though.

So good news, she's already spoken to her boss and HR and agreed for a part time contract for me from September..so I just need to get through this last term. After summer holidays I will be on 18.5 hours per week. 2.5 days. This will feel like a breeze and I can't wait and am no longer thinking of running. 🙏🏻

Today was extremely stressful though..I didn't get a lunch break again and I was actually physically shaking from stress by the time I got home. I thought I was cold but I put a jumper on. Sat down. No still shaking. Sat and tried to figure out what on earth is wrong....I was barely breathing properly. Sat and had some deep breaths and could feel it was stress causing this. 🙈 I went to see the counselor after dinner and we are working through some things....one thing I need to learn to do is say no. I seem to be unable to utter this word. Ugh. I absolutely will be working on it though because I went into work with a dozen jobs to do. Was given another dozen within an hour, then had more coming in through the day. Lunch was nonexistent as I ended up spending it with students and I just was highly stressed all day. Not good. Going forward counsellor has given me some ideas on how to manage this. One is to leave work at lunchtime (I was in college all day today - I find it much easier when I'm out and about all day but Wednesday is the day in college all day). Also I've already agreed I can do paperwork at home so I can avoid office lady piling more jobs on me. I did two people's jobs today basically and then stepped in for a third person when she disappeared for two hours 🤦🏻‍♀️. No wonder I was so exhausted and shaken.

Anyway, tomorrow is a new day. I am also aiming to do my gratitude journal two or three days a week. I'm struggling with every day. I forget or I am too busy. But it's okay, I will aim for a few times a week to start with and not be so hard on myself if I miss a day. I cannot manifest better when I'm not feeling grateful for what I already have. I'll start small with hot showers and a warm bed 🤣.

I'm out all day tomorrow so will manage my day. My way. Friday I need to go into the office sadly but will limit my time there.

At the moment it's fire fighting the stress. I need to get the level down to a place where I am putting active barriers in place to stop the fire starting.

I'm so pleased to be on countdown from the full time hours though. It's just too much. And I've finally relented to the fact I cannot do it..

No news on hearing test or MRI ... blood tests booked for Monday. As is the 24hr ECG. I'll keep trying and pushing against the health getting any worse.

Diet is going ok. 90% good food only 10% not too great - still no chocolate. I think that's a win in itself… 👏🏻😆 also no fizzy drinks either. And limited to two cups of caffeine tea a day. Water intake has been upped hugely so this is going well compared to before.

Today high on my gratitude list will be-

• DP doing the food shop whilst I was in counselling (just a top up but meant I didn't need to).

• counselling on a bad day.

• even though I'm stressed and struggling the depression is at bay today.

• newbie not returning any time soon.

• reduced hours (this would be at the top if it was imminent 🤣).

Humdinger1

You are wonderful @debtfreewannabe321. Your posse of devoted admirers is standing by to cheer on your numerous achievements love Humdinger xx

Bargainhunter30

Well done DFW, You've obviously impressed them and they don't want to loose you. You know how to improve your work life now, you just need to assert your boundaries and have the authority to do so from your manager. Will you still be working term time only? 2 1/2 days is the ideal for me if you're able to leave work in the office. It gives you time for yourself and time to sort out the house/life admin whilst everyone else is working/at school.

debtfreewannabe321

Evening all ☺️,

Today has been harrowing at work, I've been moving on from one disaster to another all day at work. This is what results in a two week holiday. A week of hell to follow.

I've been trying to remain detached which I've managed for the most part and managing situations on the bounce, from one to the next, it's been non stop. I did stop for lunch though. I came home. Switched work phone on silent. Went and potted the two trees I was gifted into the new pots I bought. I planted the broad beans that were starting to wilt in the greenhouse (hoping it's not too early to plant out? They're in raised beds) and had some nice lunch out with DP sat in the garden.

Then I went back to firefighting...I think this should be my job title.

Roll on September is all I will say.

Gratitude for today though -

DS2 messaged me this morning only after his dad messaged me and asked plans for wedding and how was he getting there what should he wear etc etc. A million questions as if I wasn't keeping DS informed. Told him to tell DS to check his messages. It's all there. Left it at that. And DS messaged me- after his dad told him to. I'll take it.

I was paid (I have not got three out of four expenses though so need to chase this)

I had a nice lunch break

I got out on time

DP made dinner ☺️.

I've managed to sit and chill all evening watching a programme and wrapped up under a blanket with a cuppa. 🥰

Baileys_Babe

Lovely to hear DS has been asking questions about attending your wedding.

Brilliant news on your reduced hours from September.

debtfreewannabe321

It's Friday evening! Woo. It's the weekend!

We decided on a takeaway tonight but then I said let's go out instead and eat. So we did and I lasted until around 7 and then was like, home please 🙈😆. I wasn't too impressed that I got a 20% discount and then they added a service charge of 12% without asking 😡 I will be asking them to remove that next time. I had cash as a tip and don't appreciate Americanisms creeping in like that 😡. Especially as our server wasn't the most polite. We didn't notice it until after we'd paid though.

Anyway, this week was tiring so I'm going to try and manage the weekend carefully with wedding plans and resting.

• Need bra fitting tomorrow as it's arrived (wedding)
• I've just ordered more wood to finish the cladding (kinda for wedding so it's pretty out there)
• Have a list of things to order online or find in shops for decorating (cheap ideas I found online) am going to try and order all online so I don't need to traipse around shops
• Seeing a friend tomorrow as I'm right near her house for the fitting so not wedding plans but social.
• Send ds1 money for the van. ,-£200
• Budget. DP has had his payslip he's been taxed £4000 ☹️☹️☹️☹️ I don't think we'll have enough to clear even one card now. Very deflating and makes me wonder why we even bother sometimes.
• Food shop which I'm going to try and do this evening on the sofa for delivery!
• I need to buy some shoes for work it's getting too hot to be wearing boots now.
• I want to buy some more flowers, just bedding ones and hopefully find some trailing ones for raised beds I have for the patio.
• Need to send my invite I made out to whomever else I intend on inviting really.
• Some bulk cooking/ meal plan.

And that I hope is all I have to do .... Because quite frankly what I want to do is lock myself in a dark padded room for days on end. 🤪🫠