Investing in Us: Holidays, Health, and the Road to £150k

daisy_1571

Sounds a very productive day, glad you will be getting the use of the patio set now its all built

Dxx

debtfreewannabe321

This morning has been nonstop since switching on my work phone 🙈. However I set my calendar and had my appointment put in and then lunch immediately after in case of run over with hearing test. As it happened I found a good parking spot (free of course) and walked to the hospital (three minutes from there - I never get a good space like that usually!) and was early. I was expecting to have to walk a good ten minutes so ended up being twenty minutes early. The nurse saw me earlier than my appointment because she had no one in before me and so I was out and half way back to the car when my appointment should have been starting 🙌🏻. The test showed moderate hearing loss on both ears but she said she's not the one who decides anything so it's been sent to the specialist. I then had the moral dilemma of, do I go into work now or go home as planned for lunch - even though it was only just 10. I went home. I had already booked the time off so I thought why not.

I've made some date balls and am sat with a cuppa now just resting. Dizzy spells absolute crazy bad this morning and I barely slept last night from worrying. I said to DP this morning I don't even understand why I'm worrying because I am in control of my diary to a certain extent and can book appointments where I want throughout the day but I just was held in a grip of panic last night and couldn't sleep. So that probably exacerbates my dizzy spells this morning.

I'm going to call the doctor in a minute and book those blood tests as I had a reminder through and then get into the garden for a bit. No messy work though I'm in work clothes - sitting or walking around will have to do ...and maybe getting some seeds ready to plant.

debtfreewannabe321

This afternoon was really tough. I'm feeling frustrated with my health and really quite fed up in general. 😞

Good news- I picked up some pots whilst I was out so not a NSD but they were the cheapest I could find that were not plastic and the right size. £32 for both and big enough to get in the freebie trees I was given. I also bought a little cola plant 🙂.

Really shouldn't have spent it but friend asked for the pots back when I'd planted the trees as she had use for them elsewhere...and I don't want to plant them, as not sure where to put them just yet.

Not eaten chocolate in over a week now and I very nearly gave in this afternoon but I had three bourbon biscuits instead....kinda chocolate but not.

KajiKita

You are getting your health sorted, slowly, but you’ve made more progress in the past couple of weeks than you have in the past two years. Hopefully that more engaged GP will be able to get it the bottom of what’s going on.

You have the energy today to decide on pots, enjoy a new plant and consciously resist chocolate. That was not happening at the end of last term. 😊

Yes it’s frustrating, but you are making steady progress.

KK

beanielou

Baby steps 🤗

MeandO

Sending hugs and hope you feel better today. As the lovely people said above, you are further forward than you have been in a long time and on the road to making big improvements with small steps. xx

debtfreewannabe321

Today wasn’t too bad, actually. I had an early start but broke the day up by coming home for lunch, which helped. While I was back, the dishwasher got swapped over—apparently IKEA don’t send engineers, they just replace it—so I’ve now got a brand new one in place (not sure if it’s been plumbed in yet though).

I went back to work for another five hours, but I managed to ease into it by catching up on paperwork from yesterday and chasing emails I’d missed over the holidays. I also had my PMR in the middle of all that. I went in planning to just smile and say everything was fine, but something in me shifted and I decided to be honest instead.

I told her how I’ve really been feeling—how much I’m struggling, how the stress has been building over the past year, and how the situation with the new starter has just tipped me over the edge. I admitted I’ve been wondering how long it’ll be before I hit full burnout, because I already feel like I’m heading that way. I always worry about burdening people or seeming like I’m letting them down, but I also knew I’ve been keeping up with my work and meeting deadlines, so I felt justified in speaking up.

She was actually really kind and understanding. She said she doesn’t want me getting to burnout and took the time to ask more about what’s going on. She mentioned that if the colleague on secondment goes back to her 0.5 contract, that role could be available for me—which is exactly what I’d hoped for when I first took the job. If that doesn’t happen, she said she’d speak to HR about reducing my hours and arranging a job share.

That would mean less income, but also some breathing space—and right now, that feels more important. I’m just surviving at the moment, and barely at that. Having more time would give me a chance to rest and maybe start doing things I actually enjoy again.

I’m really glad I spoke honestly. I wouldn’t normally open up like that—I might complain about the new starter, but I wouldn’t usually share the bigger impact it’s having on me. I even told her I’ve started counselling and have been to the doctors to try and figure out what’s going on with my health. She was really encouraging and said I’ve done well over the last three months, which meant a lot.

I also asked about working from home after appointments instead of staying on-site, and she was completely fine with it. She said if I need to go home and rest, I should—and just make the time up when I can. That made me feel really trusted and supported.

Overall, it feels like a positive outcome. I felt seen, listened to, and respected—and for the first time in a while, I actually feel like I want to stay.... So good day. MH still not fantastic but today I will take as a win.

Not a NSD ended up taking out a fourth mortgage to fill the car with diesel (joke kinda...)

skint_spice

Well done on speaking up! A reduced income is much better than no income if you end up stressed and leaving.

daisy_1571

Well done speaking up, that can be very hard to do when you are a coper, much easier to smile, gloss over, play down. Also kudos to boss for reacting well to a situation she probably wasn't expecting to hear.

Dxx

beanielou

That's a very good result.