Investing in Us: Holidays, Health, and the Road to £150k

debtfreewannabe321

Morning all,

It's so nice to wake up and it's not pitch black anymore. My F1tbit says I had an excellent sleep and was barely awake, however, it was basically a case of exhaustion hitting a wall and *crash* passed out from exhaustion type of sleep. Which happens usually once a week when I get that tired I can't function properly. So it's helped, but it's never sustainable. Anyway, short day today so I'm happy about that. I intend to not even bother with going into work today and head straight for a meeting. It will manage my stress levels to not see miss toddler newbie (how many names has she had to date 😝🤔).

My engagement ring should be back by now...and I've not received a call. I'm trying to not get worried, but I am a little, it's a vintage one too so if they've lost it it's not easily replaceable by them. I've never seen another one when out shopping...so I'm going to pop in there today on my way home so I don't have to waste a Saturday going in to town.

Queen_of_the_Hive

Hi @debtfreewannabe321, big hugs to your dear friend. Hope she's doing as well as she can do.

Don't think i'd be able to cope moving at the moment, i'd need to hire a professional declutterer to do the cull on the junk!

Engagement ring sounds exciting…! Are you having a colour scheme for the big day?

debtfreewannabe321

Afternoon,

QotH no no colour scheme, it will be as basic a wedding as it comes I think 😆.

I've started my weekend slightly early as a meeting got cut short ....I mean I went so ✔️ don't need to reschedule... 😁🙌🏻

I've had quite severe dizziness and heart palpitations and balance issues all day. Trying not to panic but it doesn't feel nice when I feel like I spent my whole day trying not to fall over..I tripped twice on absolutely nothing and nearly went over but didn't...🙈 My brain feels laggy like it blips out every now and then and I can't keep a focus on anything at the moment without zoning out and having blips, and my brain feels shaky in my head. Okay I've not explained it very well 🤣 but needless to say something is off.

Not feeling great, so came home and got in the bath to try and just chill. I've a new eye twitch on the other eye now 😭 and I believe stress has taken hold of my body and is probably causing most of these symptoms. I'm hoping my weekend isn't a total write off because of this. But I have struggled to get to Fri afternoon and really don't feel well in myself. ☹️ I do feel like Saturday and Sunday will be spent recuperating. My MRI is booked for next weekend. Then I have another appointment in April. I just feel like nothing will come of any of it though and I'll be left to limp on on my own as I've done for years already.

Anyway, moan over, work wasn't too bad, it went quite slowly as I wasn't feeling my best but the work was varied so it was okay and the meeting at the end of the day was cut short. Instead of doing my usual of going back to the office I thought, nope, going home. I've worked through almost every lunch this week so I don't feel bad in the slightest bit. In fact I'm probably still owed at least an hour. But whatever....

It's definitely warming up outside and today marks the first day of spring with the solstice so I'm happy the sun is on its way. And, well, that's about all the joy I can muster today.

debtfreewannabe321

Oh. Thought I'd come back with some better news, DP has maxed out benefits as new year is about to start. We got another taste card, DP has cheaper gym price so save £15 pm. I'm also on his healthcare whatever that is...need to look it up. And he has dentist again and we've a few other bits I don't recall. He's maxed out pension, he pays in around £200. They pay around £300?? It didn't seem right but he said it was. Also matched shares up to the max they will match. So DP will have a nice pension - mine is paltry pocket money in comparison as I stayed home with kids so long 🙈.

KajiKita

Has anyone ever checked your B12 levels …? Might be worth asking?

I’ve been a bit that way last night and today - I make overnight oats every ‘work night’ - last night I spilt something 4 separate times! 😳🙄 I am also getting the brain ‘glitches’ too. I suspect we are both exhausted. How many weeks is it to your break?

Try not to be too ambitious with your weekend, maybe just chill a bit …? 😉

beanielou

Just take time over the weekend to relax & to be. If you need to go off sick next week then so be it. 🤗

daisy_1571

YYup, I'm still of the opinion take few days sick earlier and get well rather than try to carry on till Easter and be on your knees and maybe end up off longer

DDxx

Watty1

I'm with Daisy_1571 on that. Rest recuperate now might be quicker in the long run. Hope the weekend can be restful, spent with a book on the sofa or even outside if it is nice enough.

debtfreewannabe321

@KajiKita B12 and Vitamin D were both low. B12 was borderline I think, supplement taken, and D - I need a holiday in the sun deficient.

@beanielou @daisy_1571 @Watty1 thanks, I am planning on a lonesome weekend, I people far too much at work and that in itself is really draining on me, I have had a chat with a friend this morning 💜thank you friend, some perspective found and a way forward, then I had a good cry to just release everything pent up in me, then I spent over an hour rambling and writing everything down to get it out of my head. As I was writing, my writing drew comparisons to exH and my father's abuse which is why small things she does are making me so reactive. I really need to just calm my system down as the stress and adrenaline, and then adrenaline crashes are exhausting in themselves. I feel a failure ringing in to work sick and also ego says NO because, why should I? Ugh. However, the other part of me is assuaging that anxiety and ego by saying, who cares what anyone thinks, put your health first. I will see which one wins out…. I also don't want to let down a student I have next week, he's incredibly anxious and is very autistic and I've promised to take him to do something (Tues/Thurs and Fri) - he won't want newbie doing it, I see the looks he gives her, he's wary of her. So I am going to try and rest and get the week done, the week after is only until Wednesday and then training day on Thursday then we are off.

The things I have been doing all week are helping, mildly, going to bed early, eating well and if I have a bad day I don't berate myself, I just try again the next day, I have been meditating before sleep and I have actively avoided all drama around me at work. I have been reading too and added another book to my signature.

This afternoon I went out to clear the greenhouse out - it is really quite hot in there 🥵then I got distracted and started clearing a bed of weeds, and then I came in to sit down having not completed either job yet. The greenhouse looks better though, everything is outside it at the moment ready to brushed down (spider webs everywhere) and go back in. I have laid cardboard down and put some bricks down too and I will put everything into raised beds this year or pots because the weeds in there are a little mad. I also brushed it all down inside. I have found some wildflower seeds whilst sorting out the greenhouse hence why I went to weed the bed they were going in, hmm, so job this afternoon is to do a little more of both jobs and if not finished with either I will do a little more tomorrow. I am finding taking my frustrations out on weeds quite satisfying but am mindful of my bad back being twanged. Oh and I went to my first compost bin that I started two summers ago when we moved in and we have nice compost ready to use, big bits of things need weeding out (twigs and a bit of rubbish here and there seems to have found its way in) but the majority is great and some big worms in it - so I will use this for potting things up and for topping up beds, I might be able to save a bit of money! I have added vermiculite, worm casings and some feed to it as well.

DP has bought a nail gun, the cladding turned up yesterday, it is smaller than we thought so we may need more, he has done one small section which looks fantastic compared to the awful green concrete, so I am looking forward to seeing that done. He also ordered slabs to be delivered next week so by mid April the outside should be looking fab for summer. I will get some nice hanging baskets when he's finished that too to finish it off. I can hear rhythmic thudding of the nails going in, I could fall asleep to that actually 🤣.

I'm determined to get lots of these biggish sort of jobs done that make a difference to our lifestyle whilst I still have my job. DP bonus will be due end of April I think too so CC can be paid off and I think we should get a holiday…….we deserve it. The table and chairs set I was sent by accident instead of wardrobes, I have decided to keep it can go on my new patio. That will save me a few pennies and I doubt I would get very much for it anyway as it's only a small bistro set. 😊

debtfreewannabe321

I have finished my gardening for today, I did another small stint, got the bits back inside the greenhouse, chucking the rubbish away as I went, screaming as big monsters crawled out of pots staring at me, and finally finishing that job with ten less spiders in there……I am sure they will find their way back but they got literally thrown, along with any pot they happened to be in, half way across the garden in terror 😱. I swear one was as big as the mouse we found in the kitchen.

I finished weeding the bed, in a very basic way, pulling out the most irritating weeds that took over everything, and the grass that had grown, and any moss (tried to relocate that to my rockery). snapped off dead bits from last years plants, trying to leave the live bits, might have failed on a few. Found some hollyhocks, foxgloves, lupins and some other ones I recognised but couldn't name. I would like to get some lavender for that bed next, the English variety not French- made that mistake before and it took over the whole bed 🤣. Something smells very nice in that bed but I couldn't quite place what it was, I think it is the ones I got from Mr W in the sale, but can't remember what they're called. They flowered until October though! I have chucked a load more wildflower seed down I found, probably should have done that in Autumn for Spring colour but never mind, I am never organised enough. I am determined to do little and often though this year so I have a lovely space to recuperate and rest in this year 😊.

I stopped before I had done too much. I will sit and rest now as heart palpitations had disappeared this morning but were starting again as I was finishing gardening. The balance issues were also starting up again so best to stop before they get to the point of frustration and tears from me not feeling good.

DP has done almost half the big garage in cladding now and it is a HUGE improvement on the horrid green (I love green but this green seemed to just make it stand out more that it was concrete). We definitely don't have enough so need to work out how much more we need and get it ordered.

I will sit and do the budget in a bit now I have my payslip, it is £300 more than I was expecting so can pay off CC of the DIY stuff we have been putting on to it. Oh and we heard back from the ring shop, it should be in next week to go and have a look at, I just hope it's all good and we can then get it ordered quickly because we don't really have very long till the wedding when these things can take 6 weeks to make. I need to really do a quick sainsbug shop too for collection, so best get on with that one….