Investing in Us: Holidays, Health, and the Road to £150k

debtfreewannabe321

No takeaway so I get another NSD.

I was looking for a post on FB and came across my memories page from this day in years gone by, and three years ago today I quit a job because it was physically and mentally and emotionally draining. And I wrote we should always choose health over wealth. Made me think about how I've kept jobs since then when they're really not right for me either in a physical demand or emotional overload way, just so I have a wage to bring home. The job I have currently has become a physical demand on me and I spend all my time when I'm not earning either thinking about work because I've not got to the end of jobs, or other things, and silly people at work effecting me so is mentally overloading me. I've become emotional too because of the bullying that happened very early on in the job - it's no wonder I'm tired.

I don't have any energy to do anything else 🫤🤔 anyway it's got me thinking. I'll continue to think. Not sure whether the thinking will go anywhere or change anything but here's the meme I attached to my post. And it's so true. We really do have to look after ourselves with boundaries whether that's saying no to people at work, home, socially or whether it's quitting situations that don't add to your cup, but instead take away from it. 🤔 Is it really worth the status of mortgage free if I've exhausted myself in the process and have nothing left to give.

Anyway, another early night, as, well, I'm sure you can guess, I'm shattered once again.

ladybird1106

Your post really resonates with me, 20 yrs ago I walked away from a job that paid really well but just drained me to the point of almost having a breakdown. We had 2 very small children. Mr 🐞 (earned far less, but just enough to keep our heads above water) supported my choice to leave, but it meant certain things had to take a backseat, paying the mortgage off early was one of them. 20 years later the mortgage is gone, admittedly a large amount was due to an inheritance (£30.000) but we had been paying a £5 here a £10 there over the years. It would have been nice if it could have gone earlier but my mental health was more important than no mortgage, new clothes , holidays abroad, new cars, expensive furniture etc.. It was a hard decision to make and took almost a year to come to the conclusion enough was enough.
Take care love 🐞

Watty1

It is thought provoking. Yes. Mostly I think all of us on here just struggle on. And keep going. We have a dream or a goal in our head and we just keep going. That has made me think too. Thank you.

debtfreewannabe321

@ladybird1106 in my late 20s I left a very good job, one that was well paid and would have been even better paid had I stuck it out but it did lead to me having a break down of sorts and I walked away, I was a single mum and continually struggling to juggle everything all the time. The peace and time I got back, I felt, was worth the struggles with money after. @Watty1 I think we do struggle on, our goals always a little out of reach for the big things, or like me, I reach the goal and then decide I have bigger goals and keep going and going and really need to just stop sometimes.

However….

DP and I have chatted about some jobs to be done around the house (especially outside whilst our weather will temporarily be good very soon) we always decide on those jobs far too late in the year and miss the window of dry weather! So patio being relaid and extended is top priority, at the mo we have a mud pit around the new extension where builders lifted the old patio and trudged through it back and forth with machinery etc, and it's been a fair few months since then and it's just gotten worse. Our garage, whilst structurally sound, is ugly as anything, we have decided to clad it.

So, we've spent a fair amount of time today deciding on patios and cladding. I have found somewhere that does pallet cladding (so just pallets stripped down then heat treated) and got a discount on some, so that will arrive on Friday next week hopefully. We've also found a decent price for some patio slabs, they will also deliver for free and can deliver next week! So DP is outside putting timber framing up on the garage for the ready arrival of the cladding next weekend. I need to source a nail gun and we need to order the slabs and aggregate. I wanted jobs done that will make the most difference to our living and I think both of these will be great. The new extension has a whole wall of windows, they face directly onto the ugly garage 😕 and the extension also has beautiful big doors that open onto the garden (and our soon to be new patio). We will fund this from wages and also I have just got my FD joining bonus of £175 today so that will go towards it as will DP's one when his arrives hopefully in the next day or so. In fact the amount we will have made from that will pay for the cladding exactly. I will transfer mine over to the main bank in a moment. I was going to use it for OPs or EF but I have already sourced regular money for OPs and the EF is at the half way point so I will use it for what we immediately need it for which is the DIY projects.

It also means when we have our garden party for our wedding we have a nice patio and the garage isn't an eyesore. If we can find a cheap enough shed that will be our next project outside. DP bonus is due next month and half will pay for rings 🙈 so we won't have loads to play with after that, it is looking more and more likely we will have to defer our holiday in the sun again 😒but I really would love these jobs done and they last a lot longer than 2 weeks so I am choosing DIY over that. No, I can't actually believe I am saying this.

Also, DP & I are aware of my energy struggles that just seem to get worse not better, we don't think I'll be able to sustain the job for the long term so I would love our house livable, so that means cracking on with stuff whilst we have two wages coming in. I don't want to quit, then do the DIY and be putting it on CCs or loans.

Not a NSD spent money on wood, to make the timber frame to attach to the garage ready for the cladding. I did get a £7 discount though using CB so slightly less than it would have been.

The sun is shining, I think I will attempt to weed one small bed today before collecting DD 🙂.

debtfreewannabe321

[font=courier new][b]Statement of Affairs and Personal Balance Sheet[/b][b]

Household Information[/b]
Number of adults in household........... 3
Number of children in household.........
Number of cars owned.................... 2[b]

Monthly Income Details[/b]
Monthly income after tax................ 1400
Partners monthly income after tax....... 2900
Benefits................................ 0
Other income............................ 250[b]
Total monthly income.................... 4550[/b][b]

Monthly Expense Details[/b]
Mortgage................................ 987
Secured/HP loan repayments.............. 225
Rent.................................... 0
Management charge (leasehold property).. 0
Council tax............................. 150
Electricity............................. 250
Gas..................................... 0
Oil..................................... 0
Water rates............................. 70
Telephone (land line)................... 0
Mobile phone............................ 21
TV License.............................. 0
Satellite/Cable TV...................... 0
Internet Services....................... 39
Groceries etc. ......................... 600
Clothing................................ 0
Petrol/diesel........................... 100
Road tax................................ 0
Car Insurance........................... 0
Car maintenance (including MOT)......... 300
Car parking............................. 0
Other travel............................ 0
Childcare/nursery....................... 0
Other child related expenses............ 0
Medical (prescriptions, dentist etc).... 59
Pet insurance/vet bills................. 0
Buildings insurance..................... 10
Contents insurance...................... 10
Life assurance ......................... 10
Other insurance......................... 21
Presents (birthday, christmas etc)...... 150
Haircuts................................ 0
Entertainment........................... 0
Holiday................................. 0
Emergency fund.......................... 0
Mortgage OP............................. 400
Pocket Money x 2........................ 400
Gym x 3................................. 102[b]
Total monthly expenses.................. 3904[/b]
[b]

Assets[/b]
Cash.................................... 1000
House value (Gross)..................... 300000
Shares and bonds........................ 0
Car(s).................................. 9000
Other assets............................ 0[b]
Total Assets............................ 310000[/b]
[b]

Secured & HP Debts[/b]
Description....................Debt......Monthly...APR
Mortgage...................... 159900...(987)......0
Secured Debt.................. 5000.....(125)......0<
Catalogue......................409......(100)......0[b]
Total secured & HP debts...... 165309....-.........- [/b]

[b]Unsecured Debts[/b]
Description....................Debt......Monthly...APR
Credit Card/Loan...............440.......0.........0[b]
Total unsecured debts..........440.......0.........- [/b]

[b]
Monthly Budget Summary[/b]
Total monthly income.................... 4,550
Expenses (including HP & secured debts). 3,904
Available for debt repayments........... 646
Monthly UNsecured debt repayments....... 0[b]
Amount left after debt repayments....... 646[/b]

[b]Personal Balance Sheet Summary[/b]
Total assets (things you own)........... 310,000
Total HP & Secured debt................. -165,309
Total Unsecured debt.................... -440[b]
Net Assets.............................. 144,251[/b]

[i]Created using the SOA calculator at www.LemonFool.co.uk.
Reproduced on Moneysavingexpert with permission, using other browser.[/i][/font]

Updated my SOA and reduced my wages down to £1400 as a guess at what my new wage will be as it went up and now it will go back down again 🙃. I am hoping it will be slightly more, but I can't figure it out because I don't know what pension contribution is.…. I have left off EF money at the moment because money for the next two months will go on these small DIY projects. I am very lucky DP is so capable and all we need to pay for is the materials and hire/ buy a few tools for the jobs. I have classed DD as an adult. Her car is on there as she will pay for insurance but we will be paying for maintenance (service / MOT for the foreseeable). The catalogue will be gone in four months, perhaps sooner, but no great rush - I keep putting it off as it is 0%. Kitchen loan is also 0%. Not sure if I missed anything but that is about right. So we have around £650 left each month at the mo, I have quoted both jobs for garage and patio and it's coming in around £1500 so we should be able to pay for it all by the end of Spring which is great, WITHOUT touching DP's bonus! We can use that to pay for rings and then decide what to do with the rest, either a small holiday or possibly some new guttering 😏😂🙈.

debtfreewannabe321

The sun is shining, I think I will attempt to weed one small bed today before collecting DD 🙂.

I am off to do this now 😏😂 promise…

Watty1

"some new guttering" I so love how we spend on here 😀

Love the sound of the jobs outside. Have you thought about sourcing a shed on market place? Friends have given away similar for free and it sounds as if your DP could take down/put up/ repair as necessary.

beanielou

I think that you should use DP’s bonus in part to fund a weeks holiday. Call it a honeymoon. 🤗

debtfreewannabe321

Market place is the first place I looked for slabs and sheds to be told by DP absolutely no way will I put either in the car 😭. I think I need to start a separate fund for a towbar and trailer!

I would love a holiday still which is why I'm trying to fund the DIY projects from wages 🤣.

I invited my sister to the wedding garden party. She asked when the wedding was and I said on the same day but earlier and it's just a small wedding, small reception..got no response about a yes or a no instead she said, that's what I want but it will never happen.

Please tell me this is not a normal response to an invite? It's not is it? She literally turns everything around to make it about herself. Just like the day I moved in here and she made us listen to her telling us how she was going to buy a house and then she went on to describe how she'd decorate each room..I am so confused by her responses to things I start to just go, eh???????? And don't know how to respond.

I wanted a takeaway again because I am desperate to be naughty. Instead I emptied the fridge out and we have jacket potatoes, and DP and DD can have the last two burgers, I'll make a salad and there are some halloumi fries.

And I think guttering is an excellent way of spending bonus money, right 🤔 think I need to get my priorities in order 🤣🤣🤣.

daisy_1571

Well it might be the normal way she responds but I certainly wouldn't think it would be most people's reaction 🤔 I suppose some folk just see everything through a filter of themselves. Did you respond ? "Sorry to hear that but are you able to come to mine as I need to confirm numbers" something like that acknowledges what shes said but brings the focus firmly back to what you've asked.

DXX

(PS I wonder if (in one of your spare moments 🤔 🤣) you should start deciding how you are going to respond to the inevitable You're so lucky getting this place, Must be lovely having maintenance and your wages and his wages so you can afford all this work, Oh you're getting long holidays now you're so lucky etc etc. Do you point out everything you've searched for at best price, all the long hours at work and doing diy, the physical issues which perhaps will fall on deaf ears or are you going to smile, remind yourself this is your day so you can decide who you want to talk to and waft off saying sorry must go speak to...auntie janet/the bin men/this gnome)