Investing in Us: Holidays, Health, and the Road to £150k

debtfreewannabe321

@daisy_1571 did you have a good birthday 🎈 🎂 I hope you had a lovely day? Happy belated birthday I meant to say it yesterday but my brain is a bit like jelly 🥴😂🎉

debtfreewannabe321

I totally agree with everything you say hence why we aren't bothered with big indulgent wedding this time (I never had it first time either but DP did and he said it was awful he had no say over anything and his sister was kicked out 🙈).

daisy_1571

Thank you, I had a really lovely day 😊

Dxx

debtfreewannabe321

Hi all, hope everyone is having a nice weekend. I've time for a proper update today.

It poured with rain yesterday but this morning was love blue skies and warmer than it's been for days 😃 spurred DP and I on to leave the house early to get to the gym. I did a strength workout and also ten minutes on the treadmill. I've had to lower some of the weight machines I've been using as my rotar cuff still hurts when I use it too much. Hoping that one day the muscle will build up enough so it has some strength and doesn't hurt as much. Also had to lower the ones that put strain on knees 😖 --- otherwise that was my face 🤣. My goal is to build strength slowly rather than go all out as otherwise I end up with post exercise fatigue that has previously taken months to recover from 🙈 - I do not want this I am determined to get fit. I did 1km on the treadmill half of it jogging and half a fast walk. I feel like I've had a workout but heart isn't going too crazy which is good.

My F1tbit has been monitoring my HRV and resting heart rate and both have been way outside my normal ranges since my Paris trip. I've felt it in my body too, extra exhaustion and fatigued muscles. As much as I love these little get aways I feel they take too long to recover from because of the amount of walking I want to do sightseeing. Not sure how to get around that really but it takes weeks to recover to normal. I've known this anyway but the f1tbit backed up how I was feeling. Dizzy spells and heart palpitations are exacerbated too after trips like this 🤔. This weekend was the first normal HRV and resting heart rate since I went...that's a week and a half recovery time 🤔😟. I think next holiday is a beach holiday, book in hand, sun on my skin, waves lapping in the background and chilled out.

When I spoke to my manager the other day I felt like I admitted defeat telling her why I am struggling - because of exhaustion (as well as the documented bully), but it is in my doctors files that I have ME diagnosis and CFS (I think though they're the same right??) as well as fibromyalgia diagnosis. I didn't do anything with it when I got it as I self managed these diagnoses on my own, detox, diet, rest, supplements, I also felt I was given these diagnoses because they didn't really know what was wrong with me so I rejected pain management and drugs and went alone with it. As I'm getting older recovery takes twice as long as it used to then though, I'm exhausted all the time, and so I shared this with her. I never 'play' on this and rarely tell anyone about it, I feel some people use these diagnosis in my establishment to their own gain to take time off whenever they feel like it. But I felt it had got to the point where I will carry on because that's what I do and then have a major crash and need to leave my job or I'll quit because I know a crash is imminent. The last two jobs haven't helped this at all they were both super physical.

Anyway this is why my manager has said let me see if we can change contract so you can have more holiday time to manage these energy crashes ...so fingers crossed she can sort something as I actually am enjoying the job right now 🙂 which feels amazing as I've not had a job I've enjoyed for well over a decade. I will be paid less if she can organise this but I feel to be able to keep the job will be a win. I do feel like I've failed a little sharing this though. It is what it is though and the older I get the more I struggle managing it on my own.

DP is away this afternoon until Wednesday so I'm going to make an early dinner soon and I'll make something small this evening. He's currently hoovering the house for me 🥰 he knows I hate that job (it's more the carrying it up and down flights of stairs that I don't like I get really bad palpitations 🙈 I swear I don't think I'm that unfit). All the washing has been done and just one more load to dry. I'm going to have a chilled afternoon after cooking as I feel quite tired.

NSD today, thank goodness after yesterday's extortionate spends.. 😱. however I've no regrets and I can't wait to get married to DP and look forward to wearing my new ring that's being made 😊. This was something that DP and I really wanted - new nice rings, and we had agreed we'll spend what we need to to get something nice as we are saving on venue, caterers, DJs, dresses etc etc. My original wedding was with rings from Arg0s basic range (bout £20 🤣) which is fine btw if you also have them, but mine was always getting caught on stuff, felt like it had a very sharp edge (I'm very clumsy to be fair it probably is just me with that issue) but I'd feel like my finger was going to fall off sometimes when I caught it 😱🤣 and I stopped wearing it after a while. Meanwhile DP had second hand rings for his other marriage and they even had inscriptions from the last people who wore them 🤣 so this was the place we'd always planned to spend. And I'm glad that it's sorted as it can take months (which I hadn't realised). Unsure how we are paying for it. I've said we could pay for it from wages over a few months which I'm uber grateful to have that choice now, or we can use DP bonus that he's due and then whatever is left put towards the summer holiday and wages can make up shortfall. So we'll see....but I know it won't be a long term debt thing, that's not happening and I'm being super careful about using CC and then paying it off every month. - I'm using it btw as I cleared all my debt and my credit score dropped by 200! I started using cc just before Christmas and paying straight off and it's gone up by 100 already!!

Anyhow, Feb round up, budget was good, it lasted, we didn't overspend anywhere but I am noticing I am spending too much personally. On clothes, shoes, other things that I don't necessarily need. I think this should probably stop, I feel like I've gone from having nothing left and no spare money after paying for everything to lots of spare money (to us) and it's getting wasted by me 🙈 so I'd like to be a conscious spender in March. I plan to put things in baskets I think I really need or want and leave them for a day or so and revisit before buying. The only exception I'll make is supplements as I know I'm about ready to run out of a few. No new shoes, trainers and clothes!! - wedding clothes not included - am talking about day to day stuff for work and leisure. I can do this 💪🏻. Doing this for a month or so would save a tonne of money I think. I might well add up all spends that were unnecessary later on just to have it in black and white how much I've wasted 🙈. So I may be back with that 🙈.

Okay I'm off to make a butternut squash tagine and rice ...and perhaps chill out with a movie 😊. And maybe add up naughty spends, not decided on that bit yet 🥴😆.

Watty1

the rings sound really special for both of you. That’s perfect

daisy_1571

Thats the very definition of mse, save or don't spend on areas you don't mind about but use money wisely for well thought out purchases on things you do want 😀 😍

I wonder if you'd think actually the 10 days recovery is worth it for lovely short breaks? Its not like you go somewhere every month and if you timed them in a fortnight's holiday, going at the beginning, you'd have plenty time when you come back to specifically set aside for the rest time? Be a shame to miss out on future breaks. Maybe if you get your working pattern sorted too you'd be less prone to highs and lows during the rest of the year so recovery time would be better again?

Dxx

KajiKita

If you’ve had a formal diagnosis of ME etc I’m impressed that you can train or work much at all! It’s not a failure to tell your boss - did you also tell her that you are really enjoying the role? That will have offset the ‘I’m struggling’ vibe.

I’m going to make a suggestion, which you will hate with a passion, but may be think on it before you dismiss it. As it’s the walking for site seeing which is so exhausting for you when you go away, how about if you were to hire one of those little ride on scooters, but only for city breaks with tonnes and tonnes of walking? That way you get to do everything but it takes less of a toll on your body. If you use one only when you are away, you won’t see anyone you know! 😉 But you get to enjoy the holiday as much as the rest of the family without half breaking yourself.

Also, remember you are still recovering from so many things. Maybe cut yourself some slack for a bit and think, maintenance of my current fitness is fine, until I have the energy to do more. Stop, pushing for more steps, more running, more reps, more weights for a bit?

KK

greenbee

If you have an ME/CFS diagnosis it's probably worth getting up to date as there's a lot of new research at the moment. And there are treatments available for both that and fibromyalgia, as well as advice about management.

debtfreewannabe321

Thanks @Watty1 it is a really lovely idea to make your own, I hadn't even considered it until yesterday. 😀

@daisy_1571 I think maybe just planning a trip to one or two places next time might be the idea. The times we did the Manchester, then the Bath trip were also exhausting for weeks afterwards 😕 I think I try to do too much. Thinking I am still young and fit. No and no. 🙈 I am looking forward to a beach holiday before I decide on future city breaks.

@KajiKita I was self employed for over a decade after diagnosis, the first job I had back in the workplace was around the time we moved to the last house (so my last diary on here) and it was around that time my energy started plummeting again and aches, pains, crashes were coming- coinciding with meno. With the SE I was able to rest, recoup and take a step back when I was tired. I have always been a walker I've been able to keep my fitness up with that until my foot injury occurred and since then I have had weight gain issues and low fitness and it feels a bit of a vicious cycle where I get a little bit fit, crash, need to rest, get a little bit fit again, and so on. I was not convinced of any of my formal diagnosis when I got them, they all seemed to be given when everything else seemed to not be wrong with me, 'well you don't have this this and this so we think it must be ME/ fibro/ CFS,' and all three were given to me over a period of a year- didn't seem convincing to me and although I fitted the symptoms I was not really owning the diagnosis. Lately though I have been feeling more and more like I am battling it and unable to get on top of it. I used to always control it with sleep, rest, good diet. Sleep is awful since meno, rest is non existent since work and DIY took over and when I do have chance to rest I feel like I am mostly in flight mode unable to switch off, and diet then gets impacted because I have no energy or motivation. Another cycle. 🙃

I absolutely told my boss I was enjoying it, I said compared to the old role this is great! And it is. She said I was doing an amazing job so far so wanted to retain me, I appreciated that as the other four jobs I had before this I never ever got told I was doing a good job 😊… the scooter idea…….can you take them on planes with you if you go away or is this for just zipping around Bath xmas market and around Manchester city etc 😂 I can imagine me on one of them (and the ensuing crashes from me having zero spatial awareness haha). I had same thoughts on current fitness, I have scaled back the treadmill for two reasons- I still have that ultimate goal of one day running a 5k- my knee and the exhaustion I feel after it. So I did 1k today and two rounds of strength training on the machines - and they are set very low on most because of pain and no tolerance for them yet 🙈

@greenbee I will have a look I think. I think it's time. My aunty (two of them actually), mum, nan, two sisters all have the same diagnosis. It would be helpful if mum and sis still spoke to me, I know they would be up to date on treatments etc as they are always in the docs 🤣but I will just have a g00gle instead.

debtfreewannabe321

Evening all, house is clean, DP did a lot of it before going, he really is a gem 🙂. I made the tagine it was just a sauce ready made, from sainsbug, I oven cooked the butternut squash with similar herbs and spices in the jar, pre-cooked the lentils, mixed veg and then just mixed all together with the sauce and cooked the rice. Lovely and easy and even DD cleared her portion! I will definitely make that again. I have enough left for two portions so DD and I will have it for dinner tomorrow evening. DP has gone off to his course until Wednesday, so he has taken our shared car and I will use DD car for the beginning of the week.

SO, I did the adding up of expenditures…………Oh my goshhhhhhhhhh. I am so bad, I have spent a small fortune in one month, and I am going to put it on here so you can all tell me off if I even so much as look at buying anything this month. 😂

We spent on our holiday- £324.74 which I actually thought was okay. This was for three days. DP had already paid for travel there and back and the hotel. So this is just getting around Paris, museum entries, food, drinks, and anything else… we managed to mess up the underground tickets too over there and ended up paying twice 🙈 we asked for help and the woman in the info place said, 'not my problem' 😏 so we just bought another ticket as we were stuck between no mans lands of stations 😂 so around £30 was on that alone!!

Take away, eating out, including lunches at work, etc over here was £270.29 😫 oops.

Shopping (not specific to be honest and much of this could be for the house as well as supplements etc but I couldn't be bothered trawling through receipts but there was a d^nelm one on my account for £70 so still £400 on other bits) £471.52 🙈🙈🙈🙈🙈 - this is NOT including Amaz0n - which was a separate cost of £159.27 ….

Subscriptions £17.56. - fine

Entertainment £5.53. - fine

OMG.

I have deleted my Amaz0n app, I need to go through my web now to get it and it's not as user friendly (GOOD), I am declaring a NO SPEND MARCH on clothes, shoes, and Amaz0n!!! I know some of this was holiday expenses like new bag, coat and stuff so not necessarily repeatable but I don't want to get into bad habits. DP said this is the cost of us feeling like we have a life once again whereas we were always living month to month before worried about bills. Ummm I don't have anything left from last month, I mean we got through it okay and had money left in Groceries, Bills accounts (few quid) but that's a grand gone on all that and I am not too happy with myself 🤔also slightly impressed with my commitment to spending quite so much though in the shortest month of the year 😉🤣. So only supplements allowed. Nothing else. I have money for pocket money so if I want lunch here or there at work or a new book or whatever it must come from there. NOT the grocery account which is what I was using when my pocket money ran out 🙈😏.

Okay confessions over. Bad DFW 🙈😫.