Undecided where - move to care for parents

AliceBanned

boots_babe said:

I would echo the comments of BrilliantButScary. About 8 years ago my parents moved to be closer to me in their older years. I was really pleased as they had been 2 hours' drive away until then.

They are now just 30 minutes away. But in the last year, both their health has gone downhill shockingly quickly - and very unexpectedly. When I'm having to go over most days, I really wish they were much closer. Especially when you get a  all in the middle of the night. Or when one has been in hospital and I have to drive to theirs, pick up the other parent for hospital visiting, drive to hospital and then all back again. 

Not trying to worry you, you're doing a great thing in moving to help your parents, but it would be a terrible shame if you go through such upheaval then a year down the line find you need to be much closer than 1 hour away.

Best of luck.

Thanks Boots Babe that sounds tough. I think you are right that one hour away is not great. I was thinking of all sorts of options eg a one bed flat here and one near them but that’s not ideal with current tax on second homes. Or Airbnb. Perhaps if I speak to my manager next week about options to just go in usually once a week for now - see whether they can offer me some flexibility. Then I can live nearer parents. I am sure I’d move back to Hertfordshire again if I am able to down the line but I guess I need to make the move my new home.

Albermarle

Market Harborough to London St Pancras is one hour, and there is a train pretty much every half an hour on weekdays.
I would guess though that house prices would be significantly higher than some of the other places mentioned .

lincroft1710

I'd look at this from 2 other angles, one not pleasant. How often are you likely to visit your parents, because you need to be nearer the place you visit most. The other unfortunate aspect (and I speak from experience) is that late 80s and declining health may well mean in a short time, you will not need to be so far from work. Once out of the expensive London commuter belt, it may be difficult to get back in

AliceBanned

Albermarle said:

I am thinking MiltonKeynes or Northampton perhaps

As said MK would not meet your objective of being nearish to your parents and I would say MK is a bit of a Marmite type of place.
Northampton has lots of reasonable price housing but the centre is a bit run down.
Some of the other suggestions, like Rugby or Market Harborough could be better, the latter being quite desirable.

It feels like a big step as I am used to south east and London

You will not find anywhere really like London, so best to forget about that and just visit there.
Otherwise to narrow things down you have to decide on whether you prefer City/Town/ large village(or small town) or small village?

Thanks Albermarle I think a large town would suit me best, or at least short drive to one.

AliceBanned

lincroft1710 said:

I'd look at this from 2 other angles, one not pleasant. How often are you likely to visit your parents, because you need to be nearer the place you visit most. The other unfortunate aspect (and I speak from experience) is that late 80s and declining health may well mean in a short time, you will not need to be so far from work. Once out of the expensive London commuter belt, it may be difficult to get back in

Thanks Lincroft. I keep thinking about it and perhaps this was why I was veering initially towards a smaller move north eg MK as it means I could bring them to stay with me if they wanted as I’d have a bigger home. Deep down the thought of moving further out of. London on my own is scarey. MH sounds great for young families but would it offer enough for me? I’d probably visit parents once or twice a week for now but this may well increase.

AliceBanned

Albermarle said:

Market Harborough to London St Pancras is one hour, and there is a train pretty much every half an hour on weekdays.
I would guess though that house prices would be significantly higher than some of the other places mentioned .

My commuting costs would skyrocket if I travel from MH by train. Currently I drive and can park for free and it’s only the edge of London so takes me 30-45 mins.

Albermarle

AliceBanned said:

Albermarle said:

Market Harborough to London St Pancras is one hour, and there is a train pretty much every half an hour on weekdays.
I would guess though that house prices would be significantly higher than some of the other places mentioned .

My commuting costs would skyrocket if I travel from MH by train. Currently I drive and can park for free and it’s only the edge of London so takes me 30-45 mins.

Yes trains can be expensive.
However you will also have to think about the potential delays in driving to London.

I used to regularly drive away from London on the M1 in the morning, and going the other way was just one very long traffic jam every time. Probably better if you left very early.
Similarly leaving London in the evening to go up the M1 was pretty slow going as well.

Maybe not quite as bad now post Covid with more people working from home, but some test runs would be a good idea.

Murphybear

Albermarle said:

I am thinking MiltonKeynes or Northampton perhaps

As said MK would not meet your objective of being nearish to your parents and I would say MK is a bit of a Marmite type of place.
Northampton has lots of reasonable price housing but the centre is a bit run down.
Some of the other suggestions, like Rugby or Market Harborough could be better, the latter being quite desirable.

It feels like a big step as I am used to south east and London

You will not find anywhere really like London, so best to forget about that and just visit there.
Otherwise to narrow things down you have to decide on whether you prefer City/Town/ large village(or small town) or small village?

I totally agree.  We lived in MK for quite a while.  I loved it, he hated it.  I had a brilliant temporary job with the OU and when I got a permanent contract we moved to a detached bungalow in a tiny village a few miles North.  We got to know Northampton a bit, neither of us were that keen. 

AliceBanned

I am also now considering buying a one-bed small house in the Derby area or even out a bit into the Peak District as well as a second (main) home in Herts. It sounds a bit extravagant but just about doable with my budget - downsizing in a sense in both areas. It’s just looking at tax on second homes which I hadn’t looked at before but I believe it’s not favorable since the government made changes. Just looking at all the options!

AliceBanned

Murphybear said:

Albermarle said:

I am thinking MiltonKeynes or Northampton perhaps

As said MK would not meet your objective of being nearish to your parents and I would say MK is a bit of a Marmite type of place.
Northampton has lots of reasonable price housing but the centre is a bit run down.
Some of the other suggestions, like Rugby or Market Harborough could be better, the latter being quite desirable.

It feels like a big step as I am used to south east and London

You will not find anywhere really like London, so best to forget about that and just visit there.
Otherwise to narrow things down you have to decide on whether you prefer City/Town/ large village(or small town) or small village?

I totally agree.  We lived in MK for quite a while.  I loved it, he hated it.  I had a brilliant temporary job with the OU and when I got a permanent contract we moved to a detached bungalow in a tiny village a few miles North.  We got to know Northampton a bit, neither of us were that keen. 

Thanks Murphybear. Do you mind saying why you loved it and he hated it? I guess I like parts of it but can’t imagine living there but people living there often report liking it. I would try renting but I’m renting in Hemel at mo and frankly can’t face moving more than once as I moved to this flat earlier this year.