Divorce Advice!

Pablolufc

kimwp said:

Just an idea, which may not work - have you considered keeping the house so the kids can continue to live there and you and your wife move in and out. It might not be financially feasible, but I think it's always a bit unfair on the kids to have to move every week.

I can just about afford to this and give the wife her share of the the equity and a bit extra. Although she is adamant she can't afford a similar house and is demanding a minimum of £250k whish is not realistic. I'm hopeful that we can come to an agreement which enables us to live close together and the kids can effectively have 2 houses they can call home.

Pablolufc

Emmia said:

Pablolufc said:

She works weekends because she likes being child free in the week. I have the kids most weekends.

I think she may find that this "preference" won't be an option post divorce, as it's not an unreasonable ask for her to increase her income by working more.

To be honest shes got into a rut of not working, and has said she has no plans to increase her working hours past 3 days.

Emmia

Pablolufc said:

Emmia said:

Pablolufc said:

She works weekends because she likes being child free in the week. I have the kids most weekends.

I think she may find that this "preference" won't be an option post divorce, as it's not an unreasonable ask for her to increase her income by working more.

To be honest shes got into a rut of not working, and has said she has no plans to increase her working hours past 3 days.

I think you need legal advice, a judge might take a different view on this type of assertion.

Savvy_Sue

Pablolufc said:

My stepdaughter is 14 and stays regularly at her dad's and grandparents, my 2 younger children would be fine sharing a room so my thoughts are a 3 bed would be suffice. 

While a 3 bed might be OK short term, it becomes problematic within a few years, IMO. There's no 'room' for the eldest once sharing is less than ideal for the younger 2, and I can understand why your wife wouldn't want her to feel pushed out.

But having said that, 2 households need more money than 1, and her preferences need to be financed, not necessarily by you!

Pablolufc

Savvy_Sue said:

Pablolufc said:

My stepdaughter is 14 and stays regularly at her dad's and grandparents, my 2 younger children would be fine sharing a room so my thoughts are a 3 bed would be suffice. 

While a 3 bed might be OK short term, it becomes problematic within a few years, IMO. There's no 'room' for the eldest once sharing is less than ideal for the younger 2, and I can understand why your wife wouldn't want her to feel pushed out.

But having said that, 2 households need more money than 1, and her preferences need to be financed, not necessarily by you!

As the stepdaughter is about to turn 15 and has plans of uni in 3 years ago I am hoping it wont be a problem - as the younger kids would be a max of 5 and 9 so still OK to share - hopefully 

Tryinghardtosave

Does your wife receive maintenance for the step daughter ? Have you thought of the amount of maintenance you would have to pay for your 2 children post divorce at all?
You could consider selling up, splitting the equity and getting yourself a 2 or 3 bed for now? I am assuming you would not have the step daughter to stay at any time once you have split?
Also depends on if you want a clean break or not?
Lots to ponder. 

Pablolufc

Tryinghardtosave said:

Does your wife receive maintenance for the step daughter ? Have you thought of the amount of maintenance you would have to pay for your 2 children post divorce at all?
You could consider selling up, splitting the equity and getting yourself a 2 or 3 bed for now? I am assuming you would not have the step daughter to stay at any time once you have split?
Also depends on if you want a clean break or not?
Lots to ponder. 

Yes - she recieved £250 a month. Based on 50/50 care I would pay approx £380 per month which I am fine with. My preference is to sell and get my self a reasonable 3 bed and happy to give her more equity to do the same.

gwynlas

You are not responsible for housing your stepdaughter unless you have frmally adopted her  presumably she still sees her birth father and family.

Your wife is not entitled to a 4 bed detached house when as you say your children could share.

I have family in a similar situation who have invested in a sofa bed in order for daughters of 6 and 18 to have their own rooms, brothers share.

When buying a new property you could look at those where there is a downstairs study or snug that could serve as a bedroom.

elsien

What she wants, and what you both need, I’m not the same thing. She will have to compromise on some of her wants. 

And there are a lot of families where although I’m sure the children would prefer their own room in an ideal world, they continue to share because not everyone can afford one bedroom per child.

Emmia

Can I ask who initiated this divorce?