Divorce Advice!

Pablolufc

Hi! Looking for some early advice/tips.

Long story short my wife and myself are getting a divorce. 13 years together, 3.5 married. 3 kids (1 14 stepdaughter, 6 boy and 2 girl both mine)

Childcare we have no issues - both happy to coparent 50/50 and very amicable.

Debt - no major debt other than a car loan circa £15k being paid monthly - 4 years to go although it could be paid off with savings.

House value £500k (minus £100k H2B loan) £198K remaining on the Mortgage so approx £202k equity. Current deal expires in 2 years time and we did plan to had the help to buy loan to the mortgage to clear it as the interest is increasing.

My salary is £55k work full time. Her salary is £18k works part time by choice. 2 older kids in full time education and youngest at childcare 3 days a week. My wife has turned down potential promotions and extra hours as she enjoys being at home and financially there was no real requirement as we have a good life style.

We are starting mediation next month for the house however I do not believe we will agree a way forward.

What is the likely outcome for the house? Her solicitor seems to think I can be forced to stay on the mortgage until the youngest is 18. (16 years away) and should be able to take a 2nd home mortgage for myself. My solicitor has advised that this wont be the case and the banks would not allow me a 2nd mortgage - essentially I would be financially tied with my ex wife until I am nearly 60 - this would mean numerous remortage deals together and at some point adding the £100k equity loan to the mortgage.

My preference would be sell the house, split the equity fairly as per needs - i.e 60 or 70% in her favour to enable her to get a property in the area while at the same time I would be able to get a mortgage on a property in the same area meaning minimum disruption for the kids. The house we live in now is a comfortable 4 bedroom detached house, my wife is adamant she would need an identical house, thus meaning I should continue on the mortgage.

Any advise would be great, or if anyone has any similar stories!

Brie

Don't forget you'll also have to share the other matrimonial assets such as any savings accounts, investments, pensions so you may need to consider her having the whole value of the house and letting her take on the mortgage on her own.  Maybe with you taking the equity loan to keep things simpler?

And just because it bugs me - I never quite believe that a woman with children is actually working p/t "by choice".  I mean I know that many/most women in that situation are working less than full hours and are not dedicating themselves to a career because they need to add in the picking up of kids, getting them to school/sports/activities as well as cooking, cleaning etc.  So the choice is to work full time and be run ragged trying to get everything else done or being sensible and working for money for less hours so that there is time and energy to do the kids and home stuff. 

Sorry - you poked the bear and made me growl.  I do hope you can find a sensible way to work things out.

Pablolufc

Thank you for your comments - the equity loan is a liability, I am not sure giving her £200k in equity and taking on the loan is a fair split. Effectively its me receiving -£100k and her receiving £300k.

As for her working hours, she mainly works weekends by choice as she enjoys her "child free days" Her lack of work hours is certainly not due to child care - effectively we are paying for child care which we don't need.

Pablolufc

And in reference to "picking up of kids, getting them to school/sports/activities as well as cooking, cleaning etc" I can say my wife does minimal cleaning, cooking and sports activities"   

Emmia

You may also wish to go and look at / post on Wikivorce for advice.

https://divorce.wikivorce.com/forum-index

RAS

Is your ex wife working weekends because you or grand parents can cover child care?

Pablolufc

She works weekends because she likes being child free in the week. I have the kids most weekends.

VyEu

Starting point is 50/50 of all matrimonial assets including assets in sole name and pensions. So just looking at the house, I can't say whether what you want is fair or not.
But, as you say, if she needs more cash to meet her housing needs, then an unequal split as you suggest (but caveat: pensions!) doesn't seem inherently unfair. 3 kids so a 4-bed for her isn't unreasonable so if she can't get a house with mortgage for all of them, then I can see why a Mesher Order also makes sense.

Go to a solicitor, you can't afford not to at this stage

Emmia

Pablolufc said:

She works weekends because she likes being child free in the week. I have the kids most weekends.

I think she may find that this "preference" won't be an option post divorce, as it's not an unreasonable ask for her to increase her income by working more.

kimwp

Just an idea, which may not work - have you considered keeping the house so the kids can continue to live there and you and your wife move in and out. It might not be financially feasible, but I think it's always a bit unfair on the kids to have to move every week.

Pablolufc

VyEu said:

Starting point is 50/50 of all matrimonial assets including assets in sole name and pensions. So just looking at the house, I can't say whether what you want is fair or not.
But, as you say, if she needs more cash to meet her housing needs, then an unequal split as you suggest (but caveat: pensions!) doesn't seem inherently unfair. 3 kids so a 4-bed for her isn't unreasonable so if she can't get a house with mortgage for all of them, then I can see why a Mesher Order also makes sense.

Go to a solicitor, you can't afford not to at this stage

My stepdaughter is 14 and stays regularly at her dad's and grandparents, my 2 younger children would be fine sharing a room so my thoughts are a 3 bed would be suffice.