Money Moral Dilemma: Should we change the way we split holiday costs now my partner has passed away?

Groom

A lot depends on the type of accomodation . If it's a cottage with two double bedrooms then you should pay half.of that.  However, if the amount also includes food, trips etc then that part should be split between 3. 

Kevin1984

This sounds simple but there are so many variables as you have given limited information.
I suggest you price holiday on 1,2,3 people going and agree an amicable price. Bearing in mind they may have asked you out of courtesy hoping you would decline due to cost. Plus this holiday will be a constant reminder for all 3 of you so may be very emotional for all.
I hope it all works out for all 3 of you but remember it will be different without your partner.

Matt8888

poppystar said:

Matt8888 said:

Does anybody out there fancy setting up a "Singles Pressure Group"? It could ultimately become a big business. I don't know the exact stats, but a large % of the population is single, but the world is as if 80% are couples. We need a pressure group to lobby government etc. There is also the opportunity for special deals with hotel chains and travel companies etc. I'm not interested in doing it myself, but for the right people, it could become a massive movement if done properly. But of course it needs money, time, knowhow and media connections etc. to really get it going.

Or maybe we could just start with this forum - there is no category I can see for money saving singles here! 

Well it would be a start! I would like to imagine in due course there may be a kind of kite mark or similar for hotels that do a better deal for single people etc to force businesses to change their practices if they want a large chunk of the UK singles market. The movement would suit a dozen or so single early-retirees perhaps who want a new project and would ideally have professional expertise and contacts in many of the necessary fields to get something like this off the ground. But it has to start somewhere, so perhaps some discussions about it on a forum here might catch they eye of some interested people. Perhaps Martin Lewis himself might do something about campaigning for a fairer deal for singles (thinking of tax breaks etc that couples get when singles have a harder time financially).

Cambsmum

Sorry for your loss. You are having to navigate this new single world. I would say you have to pay the same rate for the room as the others unless there is a single room for you. Couple friends often drop away from single women so don’t fall out over money when you need them most. If you have a single friend who could join your group that might work and keep your costs down.

DianaHJB

I would expect to pay per bedroom occupied.  So if there are 4 people occupying 2 bedrooms the cost would be the same as 3 people occupying 2 bedrooms. I would expect to pay 50%.  If you had to pay for electricity separately then I would expect each person to pay a third of this.

Benthebadger

Sorry that your sad loss has left you with what I imagine is only 1 of many dilemmas.
Firstly, I'm pleased to see that your friends are still inviting you away and are not shying away from what will actually be tough for you all. In your shoes, I personally would be happy to pay for half the cost of the accommodation, assuming the bedrooms are equally nice, just as you would have to if you were in a hotel. I would hope that all other expenses-food, drink, trips out, car hire or other means of travel will be split per person.
The thing is to make expectations clear before anything is booked.
I once went on a big group holiday in which 2 of the couple brought their teenagers (4 in total) and much to the shock of me and my Husband, every time we all ate out, the bill was split between the number of adults, with absolutely no consultation and our agreement was just assumed!  It cause a lot of resentment and we solved it by just going out on our own but that then spoilt the fun rather. friends should be considerate and talk about these things long before a trip is even booked.
I do hope you go and have the very best time you can, given that you are going under new circumstances and it will be a mixed blessings. Take care x

alggomas

If you have been going with your friends for years and they know you have lost your wife, then talk to them about costs. I’m sure you will come to some agreement although you would not expect them to pay for a double room for you.

yp70479

We are a group of 6 friends who go away together twice a year. We are 2 couples and 2 singles (we used to be a couple but are now just friends). That means we need 4 bedrooms. We split the cost of the house per person. So the couples end up paying a bit more, but they always get the best bedrooms  with double beds and en suites, while we take the single or twin rooms. We did discuss going by the number of rooms, but in the end agreed per person, although when couples had small children they came for free. We also make up for the difference "in kind" I do all the organising for the holiday and trawl through hundreds of houses to find the best ones, book it and carry that cost until the final payment is due, and he runs the "food kitty" cos none of us can do double entry book keeping and he does most of the driving on days out.
I think you just need to sit down and talk it out, money may well be tighter now you're on your own, and if they want to go 50/50, then maybe suggest they look at cheaper properties to rent  We've found that the variation in cost can be as much as several hundred pounds - as much as one persons share of the rent. 

TurboTrace

Yes, splitting it per person is a reasonable request. Only one income now, not two.
I was recently widowed too but my neighbours are insisting on me paying half for a new wall that's been built between us. Had my hubby still been alive, we would have happily paid half. 
Now there's only one income not two, so I'm planning to pay a quarter of the costs. I can't afford more. 

Shell1989

If you’re staying in the same room as you would have previously shared with your husband, then you should pay half as normal. The only way you can ask to split 3 ways is if you’re now willing to go in to a smaller room - making the whole holiday cheaper for everyone anyway. If it were a hotel, you’d pay for a double room regardless whether there were 1 or 2 adults in it anyway. If all else fails, bring a friend to split your portion of the cost with! Sorry for your loss.