Money Moral Dilemma: Should we change the way we split holiday costs now my partner has passed away?

MSE_Kelvin

This week's MoneySaver who wants advice asks...

My partner passed away last year. Before then, we regularly went away with friends and would split the cost of the holiday between us - for example, if a holiday home rental cost £500, we would split it £250 per couple. My friends and I are now looking at going away this year, but I'll be going solo. Am I being unreasonable in thinking we should now split the cost per person?

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Voyager2002

Presumably each couple would occupy one room. If you are going to have a room as a solo traveller it would not be reasonable to pay half the cost of the other room(s).

DullGreyGuy

MSE_Kelvin said:

This week's MoneySaver who wants advice asks...

My partner passed away last year. Before then, we regularly went away with friends and would split the cost of the holiday between us - for example, if a holiday home rental cost £500, we would split it £250 per couple. My friends and I are now looking at going away this year, but I'll be going solo. Am I being unreasonable in thinking we should now split the cost per person?

Unfortunately the MSE team can't answer Money Moral Dilemma questions as contributions are emailed in or suggested in person. They are intended to be a point of debate and discussed at face value. Remember that behind each dilemma there is a real person so, as the forum rules say, please keep it kind and keep it clean.

Sorry for your loss. 

Ultimately it's for you guys to agree amongst yourselves. If you change from booking a property with two double bedrooms to a room with a double and a box room and you take the tiny room then a non-50/50 split may make sense especially as the total cost is now £400 rather than £500 because it being a smaller property. 

If you were to stay in a hotel wouldnt you each just book your own rooms or would you really expect them to contribute to your room's costs? If you continue booking the identical properties that you did before I think its similar were you to suggest something other than 50/50

The other things with holidays is that utilities and consumables are normally built into the price and so there is less arguments for differing prices -v- say a shared living arrangement where a couple will use more water than an individual, at least in principle. 

catpat88

Personally I would expect to pay the full price for that room, in the same way as you would previously. I know it seems unfair in a way, but I wouldn't expect to pay a friends share if they were single either. 

Having said that, it depends on what type of holiday it is, what type of accommodation you have? If it were a villa, you could split the total cost between each person, children included but maybe at a lower rate?

Ed264

Depends how close you are to your friends. Personally I would consider splitting the cost three ways would be reasonable and fair. 

ouraggie

I would suggest they pay 3/5 and you pay 2/5 

keithyno.1

Absolutely insist on the cost of the holiday being split per person rather than per couple.

It might have been split per couple when it was just that i.e. couples going away, but through no fault of your own (your partner's died, for god's sake!) you're now single. 

If any of these couples object, then ditch them - they're just mean spirited mercenaries and NOT real friends.

Missy15

Going solo always costs far more than going as a couple, even if you sometimes only get a single room.
 Holiday accommodation is very weighted towards 2 sharing a room
 So you need to have a chat with your friends.
You may find they are not so keen to pay more. 

2702

It all depends what type of property you book. If you both get a large bedroom then you should pay more perhaps not 50/50. If you book a property with  1 large and 1 small bedroom you should pay less.
You need to chat with your friends to agree on what property you will go to and their opinion on cost split.

Lynney61

2s company 3s a crowd.
You might be best going away with another friend or family member.

LittleMountain

First of all, I’m very sorry for your loss.

I think I’m right in saying that singletons are on average £800 a month worse off than couples. And still, I find many couples are seemingly oblivious of the benefits available to them and, in my experience, take advantage of situations. 

These sticky single situations come up often. Splitting bills. Going in on joint gifts for friends, etc. For example, last month, a casual friend, her hubby and I shared a taxi. On arrival at our destination, it was an automatic decision on their part that the fare was to be split 50/50. I wasn’t going to argue, sat in the back of a cab, but if there’d been three friends (no romantic partners) obviously it would have been split in three. In my opinion, it should always be about the number of people. Two people acting like they are two halves that make a whole give me the ick… and I swear they often know the game they’re playing. 

It’s new territory for you, so politely ask your friends their opinion on the subject. From my POV, before your partner died, four of you were equally paying for a 2-bed villa, not two separate hotel rooms - but a larger, shared space. Now, there’s three of you, the same rule applies - the cost should be split in three. 

I think hearing their opinion might help give you clarity either way. If they’re the kind of couple that understand they could/should perhaps pay a bit more between them in order to continue enjoying your company on holiday, they are very good friends indeed. 

If anything, navigating your newly single life should come with a big side order of compassion from your friends - and holidaying together, sharing every cost equally, is a helpful place to respectfully recognise your situation. 

Wishing you the very best.