Complete candour here. The experience of selling a house has made me suicidal.

poppystar

I can’t offer any practical advice but just want to say that I’ve been there in many respects and can understand how you are feeling. I went for selling the house through the estate agent but from the moment I’d signed the contract it felt like they were only acting for buyers not for me. The eventual buyer was someone who’d developed previous properties and I suspect the EA wanted to suck up to them for future business. I lost my rag when a while before exchange and completion I was asked why I hadn’t cleared the house yet given it was a sale of a deceased property and that I was unreasonable not letting the buyers start putting their own things into it. It made me feel like they just saw me as an easy target. Eventually it sold for much, much less than the original valuation at a time when house prices were rising and others around were selling for more, even one the EA admitted was in much worse condition. The relief when it was all done and dusted was enormous but I still have so many doubts and self recriminations, feeling I was cheated or treated like a little woman. 

It is a lot to deal with alone - I didn’t have the hopeless or nasty sibling but I was still dealing with it all alone. The whole experience has made it hard to move on, not least because I was exhausted before it started because of dealing with hospitals etc. and then had to go through the clearing and selling. Death is so bureaucratic too that grief or even processing what has happened has to be put on the back burner.

Know that you aren’t alone and sending you strength. It isn’t you it’s the situation and the process! 

bobmac999

Sorry for not reading all the responses on this thread and for possibly repeating a comment before but I do not understand why the UK is so far behind EU states when it comes to protecting people’s rights going through one of the most stressful processes life brings. My wife and I bought, owned and after 5 years sold a property in Italy. The process there is fantastic. Once an offer is made and accepted the buyer has to deposit 10% of the sale value with a notary. If they subsequently pull out of the deal they lose it. Similarly if the seller pulls out they are compelled to pay the same amount to the prospective buyer. I cannot see the downside to this process and our experience is a stress free purchase and sale knowing that nothing bad will happen. Perhaps a petition to the uk government to introduce the same to England and Wales might sway me away from my current political persuasion in the next general election!

Murphybear

I am sorry to hear of your problems.  Others have suggested you talk to your GP/Samaritans which is sound advice. I used to work for a mental health charity and we produced a lot of free literature on mental health  problems.  There are a few other charities which do the same.  Our GP surgery has lots of leaflets on different health issues, see if your has the same. 

]
Mental health can be the most difficult health issue to talk about but I find if you post things here on MSE you will find  people on here are kind and helpful and the anonymity makes a big difference.  

faerielight

I really understand how stressful it is selling a property.. I had a very complicated flat sale recently, with a very incompetent agent.. I have BPD and the stress of the process  pushed me into a mental health crisis, but I got through it and am now in my new place. Please do take care of your mental health.. I was ringing crisis lines most evenings during the process and it was a lifeline. Do reach out and get some support, and I wish you the best of luck with your sale. 

ExEstateAgent

bobmac999 said:

Sorry for not reading all the responses on this thread and for possibly repeating a comment before but I do not understand why the UK is so far behind EU states when it comes to protecting people’s rights going through one of the most stressful processes life brings. My wife and I bought, owned and after 5 years sold a property in Italy. The process there is fantastic. Once an offer is made and accepted the buyer has to deposit 10% of the sale value with a notary. If they subsequently pull out of the deal they lose it. Similarly if the seller pulls out they are compelled to pay the same amount to the prospective buyer. I cannot see the downside to this process and our experience is a stress free purchase and sale knowing that nothing bad will happen. Perhaps a petition to the uk government to introduce the same to England and Wales might sway me away from my current political persuasion in the next general election!

That's fine but when did you get the survey? I wouldn't want to lose 10% deposit because of something that came up on the survey or searches that I wasn't happy with! 

tenzin_2

Panorama the BBC programme has done an undercover expose on estate agents who are on the buyers side for financial gain. They pulled Connell’s.

GDB2222

I saw that Panorama have done an expose. I've always been vaguely aware that estate agents prefer buyers who use their in-house services. It's fairly obvious why, really. On a positive note, I hope that your situation has improved somewhat?

tenzin_2

My situation is I took the house off the market totally. 

I bought a very cheap boat (£500) and ran away to sea, well, a river anyway. I live on that. 
I’m on new meds. 

And I am sleeping a lot, and not thinking of finances and the housing market. 

Turns out I really needed to sleep. Although there are a pack of moorhens who live five yards from me who like to fight at 1am! 

I stopped watching the news, which has also helped.
My family think I am having a breakdown. But I think it’s more like a breakthrough.
My doctor is in full agreement with my new living arrangements. The thought of returning to that house makes me feel physically sick. 
I’m skint. Haven’t done laundry in a few weeks. Or picked up after someone, or cooked a huge dinner. I rather like this new life. 

I want to thank all of you for your replies and support. You helped more than you could ever know. 

GDB2222

I had no idea that you could buy a boat for £500.

You sometimes just have to let things go, if they are getting on top of you, and you do sound far, far more cheerful. 

Bossypants

I just finished reading this whole thread and an so happy to see your update, well done for extracting yourself from such an unhealthy situation! You sound a lot more peaceful now, moorhens not withstanding!