Juggling mum/work life, whilst looking after my future self, both financially & healthily

mumtoomany

Sorry, meant to say, there is a website called "entitled too", where you can see what you would be able to get, hugs, mumtoomany.x

missymoo81

Hi @mumtoomany I’m sorry you've had to go through that. What a nightmare!  I’m living a small one myself night now. OH has just been turned down by an agency that covers a lot of work he can do. He found out (through a friend) his face doesn’t fit apparently. He is very upset and sore about it and is flying home tonight. So will have to try my best to deal with his emotions without getting grumpy myself. Him not having a mum growing up and not having any emotional support from 6 years old means he doesn’t handle his emotions well and struggles with criticism etc, as we all do, but he’s had 2 real blows the last week. And he is struggling.  He’s now talking about changing career completely. Not sure how that would work. But I think he’s just being irrational and knee jerk reaction. 

Trying not to become overwhelmed with work being so busy and dramatic, OH being busy and dramatic and Can’t remember if I said but Mays school report came last week and she’s really not doing well. Not meeting the standard on anything. I have emailed the school to see what they will do and am yet to get a response… ex doesn’t seem to have noticed or care. I think I’ll end up going down the route of a private tutor….. I don’t know what else to do.

Had the lovely experience of a cervical smear today too, but at least that’s done. Drs was right next to the supermarket so got essentials and topped up with fuel eventhough I had half a tank as it was cheap, it usually lasts about 10 days so we shall see. Did forget bananas though but that gives me an excuse to walk to the shop later. Going to cook all the veg up in the fridge and make a veggie/bean base for bolognese, chilli and shepherdess pie and see how far it stretches.

Need to get on with some work, and also breathe! Hope you’re all ok.

ps @m@mumtoomany like the idea of seeing what OH and I could live on if needed, but I think we’d be somewhat up @hit creek without a paddle as our mortgage and car loan are nearly £2k combined. Don’t get me wrong we could cut some things, children’s swimming and sky/netflix (we’re in contract though) and of course eating out which I’m now trying to cut. But we live pretty close to the line as it is.

oh last thing, I very nearly talked myself into buying a coffee whilst I was by the supermarket earlier, as a treat, because I deserved one…. Then swiftly talked myself out of it….. yay 1 point to me.

mumtoomany

Hi, @missymoo81. The two times we both lost our jobs were 42 and 23 years ago, so over it now. The lesson is not to both work for the same people. Obviously I only learnt this the second time, haha. 

If you shop in Lidl,  ask what time is best for their £1.50 boxes, ours seem to have most of Saturdays, mid morning. This week I got a cauliflower, brocolli, pears, three lots of bananas, a single sweet potato, lettuce, grapes, and oranges. There were 5 boxes to choose from and I saw a customer with 6 boxes I the trolley coming out as I was going in. Worth looking for then meal plan around them.

Sorry to hear that Mr missy is struggling, hope things improve for him soon.

Regarding May, keep badgering school, but stop worrying. Of our five, three were super bright all through school, straight A material, the other two severely dyslexic, struggled with everything. All 5 are now adults, they all hold down good jobs and manage well. The happiest two are, you've guessed it, the less academic ones. 

Regarding the potential fan hitting! Your mortgage interest would be covered, I believe, so your money would only have to cover everything else. I think a couple with two children would get around £1600 per month, but I may be wrong. Sobering thought. 

Hugs, mumtoomany.xx

missymoo81

Would love some tips by the way @mumtoomany x

redofromstart

Oh Missymoo I am so sorry, the uncertainty is the worst.  You know in your head that you have no choice but to stop all discretionary spending completely, but things like that little treat are so tempting, and the children would love that, and OH needs cheering up, and....  I think we have all been there at some point and it is very hard to cope with but sometimes you have no choice.

When it happened to us we had to go back to basics, and ask ourselves if 'it' was a need or a want.  We had no spare money for 'wants' and if I had bought the coffee of your example then we wouldn't have been able to eat.  It is hard, but you can do it if you really have to and you know that this forum is full of support and ideas.

mumtoomany

Tips:

The easiest place to save is going to be food/grocery shopping.
Never shop without a list.
Don't buy things not on the list, the ONLY exception is greatly reduced items, that you will use.
Use cash, that strange old fashioned thing. You will spend far less, and tend to add up as you go round.
Never throw food away. The freezer is your friend. Everything freezes! Some things don't thaw well, lettuce and cucumber as examples, but they are still edible. Add to soups etc. Blended so not visible.
Look for free food. Blackberry season is on the way. Raspberries are out now, I you can find wild ones. Elderberries, shoes, damsons, crab apples, still to come. Jam season is round the corner.

I'll let you digest those, pun intended, and post more as I think of them, hugs, mumtoomany.xx

missymoo81

Thanks so much for your thoughts @mumtoomany and I really appreciate the advice re May. I’ve since spoken to her about her assessment/report, and some grades are so low because she was out of the lesson doing extra English study. 🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️. I think extra tuition/tutor may have to be the answer.

Ah I’ve only ever had a Lidl box once, from a different Lidl. I absolutely need to go in and ask when they put them out. I’ve cancelled my Sainsbury’s subscription, I can go online and check prices and mix and match between Lidl and Sainsbury’s, I don’t mind shopping when I have the time and enjoy it when the children are with me. Not OH though as he puts any old thing in the trolley! 

And thank you the numbers I will have a look at entitled.com. Am more worried than before, went into the main office today and there were BIG meetings going down, with lots of grumpy faces so who knows what the future holds! 

And thank you @red@redofromstart i really appreciate your words, as someone who has been beside me on MSE for many years I really do appreciate your support. I know I am going to find not spending tough. As I flit between being all in and super strict to completely head in the sand and seemingly care free and buying £5 coffees! I just need to not bury my head in the sand which is easier said than done. As it is very tough at the moment. 

liselle

I keep a little change envelope from the bank in my bag for receipts.Or yes, a different wallet for travelling which would hold receipts.

liselle

Sorry, got out of sync with my post!

Feel for you, as others have said, it’s the not knowing that’s so hard.

mumtoomany

A bit of bedtime reading, for those who might want to spend less on food. Please note these are old threads and prices have gone up, but still useful.

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/826653/old-style-vs-the-usda-head-to-head-challenge#latest

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/2256959/weezls-phase-1-recipe-testing-and-frugalisation-come-one-come-all#latest

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/2384579/weezl-and-friends-phase-2-giving-it-a-whirl-for-shirl-testing-meal-plan-for-a-month#latest