Juggling mum/work life, whilst looking after my future self, both financially & healthily

BadBookkeeper

Our roles sound the same I am pretty much self managed and work from home or office my boss is happy to leave me to it as he knows the work is done and I’ll shout if needed.  I’m currently been on a long project that hasn’t been run very well and questioned myself if I still wanted to work there but the pros outweighed the cons.  I told myself to see how I feel in Jan next year as might just need to go through this difficult time and come out the other side of it and it will be fine.

Last year I became debt free and it was so nice to agree to school trips abroad without a worry of how to finance but still needed to plan it into the budget.  I suppose debt free and staying there is the same as being on a diet it’s not just losing the weight it’s about keeping it off and not getting it back!!  Things need to change with effort until they become the norm.  It sounds like you have a handle on things and are well aware of what needs doing it’s just the how to do it.  Make a long term plan and adjust it as you go, knowing your debt free date from your overdraft and working towards that 

have you tried the bank switch with a burner account?  This helped me so much when I was trying to get out of debt after I read about it on here.  Do you have a fun budget ?  Things like meerkat codes for the cinema were a godsend for me with my ds! 

I built up my emergency fund in premium bonds as it’s accessible but not as easy as just transferring money from a bank savings account to my current account and I just left a standing order go to it each month so I forget about it as it’s not visible in my banking app.  It built up quite quickly as I wasn’t dipping into it each month for non emergency spends.

how old are your kids?  Old enough to understand what you and your DH are going through financially?  You probably have mum guilt like I did so say yes to things.  I remember explaining to my ds that things were tight a few years ago but it won’t be forever and he understood more than I gave him credit for and in me sorting myself out, I’m ensuring he learns about finances and budgeting he has a hyper jar account with all the jars for different things and even saves £3 a month for Christmas shopping to buy is & his grandparents little gifts (that’s one spend that used to catch me out every year)!! 

I think your goals are manageable you just need a bit of a cushion maybe & get rid of that overdraft.  I moved my overdraft to an interest free cc and divided the balance between the interest free months and set up a dd.  Having it separate from my actual bank made it easier to manage my bank account.  Others may say don’t get a card but if you reduce the silly limits they give to what your od balance and keep reducing it as you pay off it might work for you?

sorry for rambling Hope some of it helps and you start to see the path to your goals a plan will make you feel more in control 

jwil

Sorry to hear about the uncertainty,  I hope you get some answers soon.

I made a list of all employers where I might be interested in working, so that I could regularly check their websites as well as look on indeed etc.  Are there any other companies in a similar industry to what you are doing that may have jobs available?  I also signed up to Linked in and jobs are posted on there too.

I also have found it so helpful to properly track all my spending each month.  I thought I knew what I was spending, and I roughly did on the main bills, but the amount I was spending on little extras - particularly from school demands - was very eye opening.  I now know exactly where I can cut back and what I need to earn as a minimum.  It's the same here, that the jobs I would be going for are significantly lower paid, so I feel your pain there.

missymoo81

Thanks @BadBookkeeper you give a lot of good advice. I haven’t looked into bank switching but it sounds like a good idea, I will look into it. I did have premium bonds, I would like to start saving again. I should be able to stay out of my OD now, well from Monday, after I get paid. I will then cancel it down to the £200 it had always been just for emergencies. And yes the children are old enough at 12 and 13 to understand and they are really good. But I have to be really careful as Roo is a real worrier and would worry himself silly about it. 

Thanks so much for posting @j@jwil I really appreciate your input. I really do need to write out my spending as I know it’s more than I’d like, it’s hard as I know how well I’ve done on not buying lots of coffees and food out and clothes like I used to. I am spending a fortune on the children at the minute though and do need to budget and look at it.

And thank you for the thoughts on job hunting. Unfortunately the industry I work in is few and far between, not another for 100miles plus. So would definitely need to change industry. Happy to work hard and turn my hand to anything if needs be.

Trying to keep myself busy, I’m watching NZ Eat well for Less. And baking bagels for three first time. Dough is proofing as we speak, I ran out of white bread flour so wholemeal was used, we’ll see how we do!

missymoo81

So I’ve been going through my bank statement to see where all my money had disappeared to. And I’m spending £500 on food a month!!! And this is with me being good and trying, and going without and shopping with vouchers and discounts and going to Lidl!!!!!!! Granted some is eating out, but I think we ate out maybe 3 times, 1 of which was McDonald’s. I’ve spent £30 at work on food. £200 on fuel. The food thing has really thrown me. I honestly thought it was half that. As I know what I spend weekly at the supermarket but it’s all the little top up coop shops and just popping in for 1 thing and coming out with 10. 

This HAS to get under control. 

I can’t do anything about the fuel bill, apart from
maybe drive a little slower and watch where I get fuel from. 

Blackcats

Hello Missy!  The grocery challenge on the MSE old style boards will be a great place to help you with your food spends.  The July challenge has just started.  There's lots of recipes too.  Some people on there are amazing with their spends and their advice.

missymoo81

Blackcats said:

Hello Missy!  The grocery challenge on the MSE old style boards will be a great place to help you with your food spends.  The July challenge has just started.  There's lots of recipes too.  Some people on there are amazing with their spends and their advice.

Thank you so much! That would be a really good place to be held accountable! Thank you.

ive just realised, and I’m hanging my head in shame… this is not including what OH has spent. And the fact that he has only been home for about 7 days of July…. So the food is me and the children mostly. I really need to just do 1 shop a week and that’s it! And not be lazy with lunches or dinners!!!!

missymoo81

Ok so I have gone through the Sainsbury’s app and have put together a shopping list that I think should last us through the month for £200, it would mean everything being scratch cooked and a lot of veggie meals. But I think it could work, it would be toast, bagels or porridge for breakfast, wraps, fruit and hm cake for lunch. Then scratch made dinner. Im
happy to eat vegan or veggie but OH and children need/want meat. But if I add it after I can save on how much I use. So list is a lot of beans, lentils and veg, but 2 packs of cooking bacon, 15 eggs, 2kg chicken legs, (which I can precook and portion out)  along with big packs of sausages. Some packs of frozen white fish and mackerel which are pretty cheap too. 

I’d like to see how I do, I think some prep on a Sunday should help, along with just not being lazy and just getting on with it when I get home from work. I LOVE to cook, but always say I don’t have time, because I’m always trying to get to end game which is me sitting on the sofa, pretending to watch tv whilst actually being very bored and uninterested. I need to change my mindset, cook and then read on the sofa for an hour before bed. I’ve been going in the (home) gym early morning, which has really helped me manage my time. Not to mention my mood. Like a few other people who’s diaries I’ve been reading, I am at that pre meno phase of life, where seemingly my mind and body aren’t functioning on all cylinders. But apart from
brein fog and an aching body, I’m doing ok, but am ‘only’ 43 so this may worsen I guess. Anyway, I digress, just wanted to empathise with my fellow 40/50 somethings. So I  basically will try harder with my food budget. 

Next month will be tricky as am away for work, I do get an allowance but I always lose receipts. So it will be very much porridge pots, bananas and flapjacks, along with maybe some huel meals if I can get away with it. As no fridge or microwave.  Oh actually OH has a portable induction hob, and I love a pasta and sauce. That might work better, if not the most nutritious. Sorry am rambling.

Chocolatefund

Hi @missymoo81

Have you looked into the ‘No Spend Day’ challenge?  Racking up as many no spend days in the week, really got me to stop the random spending.  I have a calendar on my fridge where i cross out the days with NSD, then I see how many I can do weekly, then add them up at the end of the month.

missymoo81

Chocolatefund said:

Hi @missymoo81

Have you looked into the ‘No Spend Day’ challenge?  Racking up as many no spend days in the week, really got me to stop the random spending.  I have a calendar on my fridge where i cross out the days with NSD, then I see how many I can do weekly, then add them up at the end of the month.

Ooh I love this! Thank you! Would really help with the adhoc spending. I’m going to join this and the grocery budget tomorrow.

greenbee

Work expenses - if you submit using an app, take the photo, upload, and add info while you are eating. If you don't use an app, take a photo anyway in case you lose the receipt. I use a different wallet when I travel, with the cards I use for work (standard one, emergency backup for when US restaurants manage to block my card), and it has plenty of space for receipts which get tucked into it as soon as I've taken the photo.