Juggling mum/work life, whilst looking after my future self, both financially & healthily

Spendless

So sorry to hear this missy but you will come thru it, you're stronger than you realise.

Assuming ex has already left, I would tell the council today. Ive no idea how much they'll backdate anything for if at all, so dont miss out on a 25% discount due to delaying. You could use that money elsewhere.

missymoo81

thank you so much for the support. I have applied for the discount for council tax but I need to change payment details. We had a joint account for bills, so I want to move the bills to my account to make sure they get paid.

in_need_of_direction

sre there sny funds in the joint account thst sldo need moved?

Queen_of_the_Hive

Hey @missymoo81, oh my days I am so sorry you are going through all this !!!!!!, you deserve so much better and more. Stick with us MSE tribe and we'll support you.

When I left my husband I didn't cry for a long time, was in shock but it hit me later. You have some wonderful advice here to cover getting you started, try to take considered decisions, baby steps, make a list and tackle a bit at a time. Seperate bank accounts etc.

Family solicititor is a good idea, I didn't use a solicitor at the time and have a little regret from not doing so. I didn't realise my true worth at the time and walked away from my old life with not as much as I should have. He bought me out of the house but we didn't touch each other's pensions.

Big northern hugs from us, keep posting and sounds silly but try to remember to breathe. This is the hard !!!!!! bit, life will get better soon, promise! xx

missymoo81

I have more questions if I may, how do I go about changing electricity supplier, I need to do it anyway as out of contract. Do I just contact the new one? And they’re estimating £144 per month for gas and electric for a 4 bedroom house when we’re out all day? Or £108 for a smaller house…

Not sure what to go with. Can’t work out the usage either as BG’s website isn’t helpful.

jwil

There's some guidance here: https://www.moneysavingexpert.com/utilities/how-to-switch-energy-suppliers/ You can just go to the new supplier, but remember to check for any cash back as well. Do you have some statements? Mine show an annual usage estimate on there. The MSE energy club is pretty handy for comparisons.

debtfreewannabe321

I usually just go to a new one and they sort it out. I make sure to have no credit owing to the last one by cancelling DD and waiting on a final bill.

Glad you got the CT sorted out - get any money out of joint accounts and set it all up in your own one asap. X

Blackcats

You are doing well - making progress, keeping yourself together and thinking of ways forward.

It might be a good idea to get statements or take screen shots of balances on every account you have as at this month as a record of where you were when you split up -

Gas/elec, water, council tax, bank accounts, building society/savings/investments, mortgage balance, loans, credit cards, pensions. You might never need them but just in case you do you will be able to refer back accurately and easily. (I wish I'd done this when I was in a similar position to you)

Have you mentioned to your children's school?

mumtoomany

Hello, @missymoo81. Not a question you need to answer out loud to all of us. But, why does exOH owe you so much money? If this is due to him not paying his way and you have been subsidising him, then you should find yourself better off now your money is to be used for you and the children. This will make covering costcosts and paying bills easier. Hugs, mumtoomany.xxx

missymoo81

no it’s because when we got together I paid off all of his debts, he was meant to pay me back £900 A month? Which he did for 6 months until covid hit then he didn’t work as much and then he conveniently forgot and hasn’t paid it since, begged poverty. So done with him.