Realisation Moment...My God How Did I Get Here???

antronella

Anna, well done..you're sounding much more positive since your first post! :T I have just joined freecycle..isn't it brill! have got someone calling soon for a sim card (new & unopened in pack).

Do try Lidl..I have one locally and its great! The meat is especially good and I really resent paying other supermarkets prices after shopping there. My advice is to just buy what you normally buy...and give it all a try, you'll soon find what you like/don't like. Good luck on your road to a brighter future! x

hayley1471

A couple of things i am not sure about...? Why hasn't your ex bought you out of the house? If u explain to him that if he doesn't you'll go bankrupt and then he will have to pay your creditors out of your portion of the equity, won't he help?

And when did maintenace go up to 35% of income? Back in 2003, the CSA calculated 20% for my ex to pay me, not that I ever saw it. 35% seems a lot. Do they ever stay at your place? If you could persaude them to stay one night a week, that would reduce the amount you have to pay.

Good luck.

mumoftwins

DisillusionedAnna wrote: »

:rolleyes: Still online for now.

And a nice lady from Freecycles letting me have a silver venetian blind for my kitchen yahoo:j :j
Thats another freebie most gratefully accepted..I lov:j e Freecycle
Am now going to have to tackle my shopping bills. Im spending about £25 per week on shopping and I am assured thats too much, plus my bum and waistlines expanded so I need to reduce that as well:rotfl: So any ideas on how to cut down gratefully accepted. I have an Aldi and Lidl anda large Asda within 15 min walking distance and have never been in Aldi or Lidl shame on me, will go for a mooch round them tommorow.
I have a pine table and chairs from local auction cheapo so its varnish and new seat covering for me this weekend.
Right am of to work to earn my weekly crust to knock another miniscule dent in my massive debts.
See you all later
Annax

Lidl's vanilla ice cream is the BEST in the world:D they also do lovely chocolate ice cream and walnut too!! Also their tinned stuff is very cheap compared to main supermarkets and good too!!

fc123

In the cereal section of Lidl they sell bag of unrefined oats for 29p.
Every day have with milk or juice, fruit, seeds and a bit of smart price plain yoghurt.........it levels the blood sugar for the day, sorts out your insides and your bum and tum will deffo shrink! I struggled with it at first (being a coffee and fag kind of person 1st thing).....best dietery thing i have ever done!

Also, have read your entries and send best wishes.............:D

roomontheend

I have just read your thread, I can't believe I've missed it before. You can do this! If you can get through what you've been through and come out the other side you can do anything. Life couldn't be as bad as what you have been through in recent years. Now the only way is up (may be that could be your theme tune lol). Best wishes lovely.

RAS

DisillusionedAnna wrote: »

yes Cranky but my ex husbands got a radar nose for me doing extra hrs, he lives just round the corner and goes past regularly clocking me working. and if i didnt report changes in hours u can bet id be landed with a massive overpayment bill.

Sounds like you are dealing with a real !!!!!! as well as a violent one?

I do not know if you are up for it or if you are physically well enough, but are there any allotment sites near you? The reason I suggest this is that if you increase your income, OH and CSA are going to have their mitts on it. However, if you use your time to reduce your outgoings, they cannot touch you.

I would suggest what we call a quarter plot (some sites may not have them, but if you ask...) this is 30 foot by about 25 and would provide enough to make a dent in your food budget, as well as being really tasty, allowing you to get fresh air and get out of the flat.

The average price of a full plot is £29 plus water, so a quarter would be £5-10 plus say £4. You could get a fork from freecycle and maybe shears, a hoe and secateurs. Add a few sticks for drawing drills or dibbing and you are sorted. Lidl, Wilko and some other low cost places do seeds for as little as 19p a packet and some packets would last you several years. Plus other plotholders tend to give newbies seedlings and spare plants.

Just a thought?

kirstymccr

Anna

Im not sure if this applies to your local area but in my area the housing benefit department have a fund called Discretionary Housing Payment which people who are claiming Housing Benefit can apply for. It is for a fixed period - usually 6 months and the claimant has to demonstrate hardship which you clearly can. If successful it pays an extra amount towards your rent. They dont widely publicise this as it is a limited amount of money they have to award but it may be something you could ask your local council about.

Keep your chin up xx

desperation_2

Dearest Anna,

You are an inspiration!!!! Keep going, be strong, keep smiling, and we are all here if you need us!!!

djjojojuice

Today is the day that I have decided to get off this round-a-bout of debt and stop using my student status as an excuse. (I am currently studying, postgrad)

It's good that my 2 (yes two!!) horrendously large overdrafts are interest free, but they should not be there in the first place!

I will stop living my life on credit and have been inspired by those on this forum. Those with far more difficult and tiring situations then myself, who are broke broke because of true circumstances rather than 'needing' to buy clothes and go on excessive holidays.

Thanks for your support.

DisillusionedAnna

hayley1471 wrote: »

A couple of things i am not sure about...? Why hasn't your ex bought you out of the house? If u explain to him that if he doesn't you'll go bankrupt and then he will have to pay your creditors out of your portion of the equity, won't he help?

And when did maintenace go up to 35% of income? Back in 2003, the CSA calculated 20% for my ex to pay me, not that I ever saw it. 35% seems a lot. Do they ever stay at your place? If you could persaude them to stay one night a week, that would reduce the amount you have to pay.

Good luck.

Morning Hayley

I wish it was that that simple Hayley, I left him because of his adultery with my best friend, I came home from work one day to find him snuggled under the duvet with her, she went flying out my house with a foot up her !!! and he hid in the toilet clutching his shoulder cos I clonked him on the head with the poker. Then she hid behind garden shed in her ample buff whilst I in my ehmm shock hauled the mattress they had been cavorting on into the garden and set it alight with the petrol for the lawnmower, a neighbour called the firebrigade who came but were hardly able to stop laughing while putting out the burning mattress.
She then had to run down the street in the buff cos I shoved her out of the garden on to the drive, meanwhile the idiot with the lump on the head thought he would try to explain what happened, so I gave him the benefit of the doubt whilst testing my heavy based frying pan on his head ( I missed unfortunately).
The children and myself left that day, and the council gave me temporary accomm but they never did settle there, cutting a long story short i finally go given a flat for myself and moved in and started the process of getting an amicable settlement, the day my lawyer registered me with the Land Registry as an interested party on the mortgage all hell broke loose.
I was in hospital for nearly 3 monthsafter what he did to me, he served just over 3 months of a 6 month jail sentence for assault etc.
I would love to say that life has gotten better, and in some ways it has, in others it has`nt...
The CSA have asessed my income, I pay it, I moan sometimes as its a lot but we wanted equality us women so it cuts both ways.
I went from a quite determined, strong person 3 years ago to a right nervous mess, my journey back has not been easy but Ive realised that theres more to life than a big house and comfy lifestyle.
I am sorting out my debts, slowly and surely, I have a roof over my head, the children see me regularly, but still wish to stay with there father, who is montitered by Social Services, I have a lovley part time job i love, some days look black others glow, I will find the correct balance eventually, it just takes time, time which Im so thankful I have.
When you read other posts on here i realise Im just a wee drop in the world of debt and all that comes with it.
Its thanks to thissite and all the kind folk on here who give there advice freely without judgement thats hauled me out of my last oh god what do I do with this mess days I had recentley.
I can cope I know but just to be able to type and say how you feel on this site, and get back helpful advice and be gentley pointed in the right direction is wonderful..so theraputic,
So if my ex would like to give me the share of the house and then I can clear my debts Id be very very happy but hed fight me to his dying breathe before he would, fortunatley i have some legal rights and will be exercising them accordingley, watch this space, as my legal lady ( and my frying pan if I could) has some clout and he eventually has to listen and be reasonable.
I have patience and time, and so life goes on .....
Anna