My Fresh, Shiney New Diary - I will be positive!

embarrassed_about_my_debt

Your not being the bad guy doing whats best for you!

Lucy1982_2

I know.

I did this with my Ex and somehow managed to blame myself for his affair!! I think that bit that is really upsetting me is I realistically know that there is no future for us.

I love going to museums, gallerys and to the theatre etc he hate all of it. I think of everyone else before myself and he doesn't. If I think about it with me head I am ok, it's just everything else.

embarrassed_about_my_debt

well if you want a chat or just someone to listen feel free to pm me

Lucy1982_2

Well I might be going for a drink with a friend from work tonight and I am going to have a chat to Mum and possibly OH if I can manage it.

I think I know i need to do something, no matter what it is

ZTD

Lucy1982 wrote: »

Hi

I'm feeling really low and thought that I would tell you about it. I don't know what to do about OH. If I explain.

We met in April 07 and get on well.

Is "get on well" a good sole-foundation for a relationship? Especially as it looks like you're not?

Lucy1982 wrote: »

He never wants to go out or doing anything, has put our names down for England international(rugby) tickets which are going to cost £68 (possibly each!) without even asking if I wanted to go, made a big fuss about the fact he might have to miss playing a rugby to spend the weekend with me in a hotel to celebrate my cousins 21st. I feel like I am not important and that he doesn't care. I'm not sure how much longer I can take this.

The very fact you think you're "taking it" is very telling.

Lucy1982 wrote: »

I like him (I'm not happy to use the word love really) but I'm not sure I am doing the right thing staying. I have very few friends that live near me and really only Mum to listen and I can't stand the thought of being lonely again,

Why would you be lonely? Is sitting next to someone watching TV "not lonely"?

Lucy1982 wrote: »

but then I wonder if that's the one reason Im still with him? I was chatting to a friend at work and she said we could arrange a couple of nights out and that I should just go out without him, but I don't know what to do.

Go. Get him to give you a lift if he doesn't want to go with you.

Lucy1982 wrote: »

I just feel like crying!

:grouphug:

always_amazed

Hey Lucy,
Finally found your Debt Diary!!!
Sorry to hear you are having a problem with your OH. Sure you will do the right thing by you!!
It's odd because we all know that Boyfriends are not The Most Important Thing In Life. But when things go wrong with them, (even if you don't like them that much!!!, thats me talking about me there!) it can tie you up in knots inside!
Let us know how you get on.
xxxxxx

embarrassed_about_my_debt

Hey Honey, just thought i'd stop by and see how the night out went and how things are in general?

lunar

Hi Lucy, i was just having a nosy at your diary. im so sorry you are having this trouble with your OH. at first i was going to send you a hug and tell you i didnt want to advise you an what to do. but then reading your following posts it feels as if you have already made up your mind. you just dont want to be the one to end things. I have been in this position with my x husband. I found it so hard to leave but at the end of the day we were both miserable and now its a few years behind us we are both happy seperate. the chances are if your not happy, he isnt either.you need to think of your future, you will meet someone who you are happy with and you will look back and know that you have made the right decision.

Lucy1982_2

Hi

Thanks for all the posts. This has been my first chance to log on. Well had a very big chat with OH on Friday night and told him everything, how I was feeling, how some of the things he says make me feel etc (I was very honest and in tears the whole time ) The really weird thing was he agreed with everything I said!!! :mad: :rotfl:. Realises that he can't treat me like this and I have made it very clear that if things don't change I am walking away, but he has made a real effort this weekend and spent loads of time with me doing cheap but fun things (baring an issue with my car, I will explain :mad:) We have been for a walk, played Monopoly, had dinner together etc. We discussed a lot of things on Friday night and I have finally found out the state of his finances :eek: I need to research CCCS and Payplan as I think they might be able to help him. I have told him that if we work out he needs to do something about it, so he is going to work out all his bill and what he owes (we registered him for online banking on Saturday) so we can sit down next week and see if there is anything he can do about it. So that was OH.

My car :mad: :eek:

Drove home through some flooding on Friday night and my car was fine. Started on Saturday morning and it made a funny noise (luckily OH was with me) switched it off and we couldn't get it started again. Called RAC (I'm thankful at the moment I pay them so much as they can to my home) and my cam belt has gone :eek: Well the thingy that does the cam belt tension has gone and the belt is all floppy. Called my garage and the nice RAC man towed me there for free and they are going to look at it tomorrow. But we are going to get them to call me before they do any work. Mum and I think we can get hold of about £600, but if it cost more than that I really don't know what I am going to do I managed to get a courtsey car from them so can get to work easily tomorrow, but I am really worried about it and nearly cried yesterday.

So that's it, that was my weekend, stressful but better than it could have been at least OH was with me.

findingmyownway

Hi Lucy

Glad things are a little better with OH. You did the right thing talking to him - just make sure he doesn't slip back into old ways. You DO deserve to be treated well!

Hope things go ok for the car tommorow