2 problems, financial association and money spending OH!

BrickingIt

Firsttimebuyer wrote: »

She can't cook for ***... I do all the cooking in the house. :D

I still quite like the idea of ditching her.

So you are up to your neck in debt and using the savings money to have a wedding blow out.

floss2

The only suggestion I can add is to try not to be confrontational, as it seems to cause distress & arguments.

Maybe you could challenge her to Ebay some of her "old" stuff, so she can buy "new" stuff without using the credit cards? Or run the snowball calculator to show her exactly what her lovely shiney new handbag & shoes will actually have cost her by the time she pays off the bill?

Good luck,
Floss x

Firsttimebuyer_4

BrickingIt wrote: »

I still quite like the idea of ditching her.

So you are up to your neck in debt and using the savings money to have a wedding blow out.

You sound like an anti-cupid type person...;)

Actually..the wedding will improve our situation...Believe it or not. Having lived together for many years, we have most things that we need in the house. (it's rented but we furnished it ourselves). The wedding will be quite large and we have actually said that we don't have any particular need for gifts but if they wish to give something it can be money....yes...believe it or not but we have...I know some people think this is a bad idea but there's no point in people buying us stuff we don't need. Loads of young newly wed couples do this now..i know of several who have. I also know that my parents will give us more in money than we will spend on the wedding. (the majority is being paid by her father).

ZTD

He even has a Troll as an Avatar...

Please don't feed the trolls...

newlywed

Firsttimebuyer - click on his profile and then click add to ignore list and all his comments will be hidden from you in future

BrickingIt

Firsttimebuyer wrote: »

Just to let you know...I'm offenced by your comments.

There's a lot you don't know and your comments are not justified whatsoever. She doesn't get a penny from her father and never has done. Yes, he pays for the wedding as he is a very traditional man.

I am willing to listen and read all comments, including those which I don't think are right or would work, but comments like this are unhelpful and downright rude.

It was a joke. The fact is you're sleep walking into a marriage with a significant amount of debt, much of which is being avoided. You'll understand that as much as you try and avoid this point, it is the central point.

Honestly, I would say you are avoiding this point as much as possible.

poppy10_2

Sounds like you need a new OH, this one sounds like a waster.

happyhappygal

poppy10 wrote: »

Sounds like you need a new OH, this one sounds like a waster.

What a horrible thing to say to someone.

This post has been open to suggestions and comments because someone needs a little help and you call their OH a 'waster'.

Nasty little madam.

ZTD

BrickingIt wrote: »

It was a joke.

But there are ways and means of saying things.

BrickingIt wrote: »

The fact is you're sleep walking into a marriage with a significant amount of debt, much of which is being avoided. You'll understand that as much as you try and avoid this point, it is the central point.

Honestly, I would say you are avoiding this point as much as possible.

Which is a lot better than your previous posts.

Though I would say, there are many more issues than the debt being avoided.

jaapie

Have not given advice before although being heavily in debt and a spendthrift you must sit down with your OH and have a totally honest conversation about this. How would you cope if you started a family with that amount of debt, plus she is in denial and talking to her could help her.

There is no point saying "dump her" you obviously love her but sometimes you have to stop protecting the people you love for their own sake. You must admit you did not portray her in a great light in your initial post and that is maybe why some people are being harsh if you were honest with yourself are you starting to resent her attitude a little bit?