CrazyBee wants to be Mortgage Free!

CrazyBee787

Newstartforme said:

Does lodger think you have feelings for him because you treated him to breakfast ? Love treacle tart , hope it works out well xx

I am mystified by the lodger, there seems to be something there, yet he doesn't say there is and I have already made a fool of myself, although he never let me feel like a fool, things are good, but he is going soon and I can't bank that he will be back for sure. But something keeps me from going out and finding another man! 

good luck tomorrow 

dawnybabes said:

Ooh with crumbs or coconut ? I’ve not made that for years, might have to make one.  If you make it could you slice it and freeze it - I’d eat it all in a couple of days unless I’d done that.

good luck tomorrow 

My grans recipe is just syrup and lemon juice heated mixed with cornflakes, she also made a lovely pastry with a little lard, however I have cheated and used a pre-made short crust pastry! I'll let you know how it turns out.

CrazyBee787

I tried to re-create my grans, I think there was more filling in Grans cake, but the real test will be when I try after dinner!! I'll keep you posted!

@Newstartforme @dawnybabes it doesn't look anything special but if it was done right it is rather tasty!

Have a lovely evening all who come byXX

CrazyBee787

The treacle tart was a bit of a disaster the corn flakes softened with the hot liquid treacle, however I plan on trying again, this time with a different methodology, I want to do this plus I want to prepare a curry, plus do some chores, plus search for jobs. Therefore a trusty list is needed:

1) Make Treacle tart

2) Prepare veg for curry

3) Make curry

4) Wash up

5) Change bed linen

5.5) Put wash on

6) hoover

6.5) Do Bins

7) clean bathroom

7.5) Sort washing

8) tidy bedroom

9) Dust

10) Search for a job

11) R&R

That should do it, I am now procrastinating, I only just had lunch but I thought I would give you an update. The interview did seem to go okay, so lets see if I get on to the second stage. Last night lodger didn't show for meal, (don't worry I didn't cook it for him) he did come in late and said that he hadn't got phone credit and he was very apologetic, so I have invited him for dinner again, crazy as I am, I was a bit upset, but he is young and has a life and he was sincerely apologetic, I believed he was a bit upset actually. I have to say I don't like who I am with him, I am not a better form of myself. I don't think he is Mr. Right, but I do enjoy having him around for the most part actually I really like him for the most part. But I am a little bit of a mat around him and do a bit too much and not have a healthy boundry with him. It makes me feel less upset that he is going to be with someone else, because maybe she is a better form of herself around him and well I come off a bit desperate and have been for a while, which I hate. But it is like we are a a family while he is here and it does feel nice, I don't think there is any harm in any of this, but I don't like my need to please all the time it is a bit sickening, besides if he does make it in racing he won't want a 24 stone wife, he'll want a slim beauty who is his girlfriend. I hope I'll always be his friend although he has said that he won't contact me unless he needs a room! I guess he knows who he wants and doesn't want in his friend group and I didn't make the cut, gosh how needy do I sound! it is enough to make you sick. Believe it or not he is very good to have around for me, he makes feel like a good person and valued, even though sometimes he has a funny way of showing it. In summary I like him but he is not Mr. right and I am not Miss right.

Sometime later.....

I think I will just make the curry on the list now for the rest of today and leave the list until tomorrow now, feeling a little warm, but I do have a nice breeze coming through the flat. Yes I will make a new list tomorrow.



This is treacle tart 2, I'll tell you if any good tonight when I get a slice!

RedLipstick

Crazy, I had to respond, this is heartbreaking to read. I'm sorry you are feeling this way and this is not the kind of forum I'd normally said this - if you want to keep your boundaries straight with him or any future lodger, just remind yourself he's got a partner already, it's really that simple, do not go there, there is no mr right talk - he's taken he's out of the picture. You don't want him to drop his girlfriend for you, he can always do that to you next, would you like that kind of a man by your side? I'm not saying this in judgmental way, you know what is best for you, but please, reconsider all this and protect yourself. Guy is renting a place from you, I'm sure he doesn't want to make the situation uncomfortable but there are obviously some power dynamics in play here as well. You're not his wife nor nurse, don't give him the treatment. It's nice to be nice but you spend money you don't have on him, why would you do that. Don't put yourself on fire to keep him warm. You have bigger worries on your mind for now, continue looking for a job, go meet some people, sign up to Eventbrite maybe and go join some local walks or meet-ups in your area, there should be lots of activities for free. Keep your head up and focus on yourself, and your success, and I'm counting days until your lodger is out of the picture and you get a job and get all that needed independence back xx

Btw meant to ask the other day, are you by any chance on LinkedIn? Could that help with searching for jobs maybe? 

Cake looks lovely, enjoy!

CrazyBee787

Sorry forum for this message as it not related to money, but it helps so I hope you don't mind too much. I do need to set boundaries, I have started by telling the lodger the same thing and that I am not cooking for him anymore, I will not welcome him home, I will not cook for him or run around for him, although I think he has already got me to do that now, anyhow I think I am just waiting for the next lodger and the next lodger I will have a new set of boundaries where I do the same thing, this is all practice for the new lodger. @RedLipstick the only failing I had was not taking a month and half relationship seriously, I had a wonderful dinner where I made dinner and lodger brought phone with gf, like to show me she does exist, I think he is very smart and knew I have a problem and has managed to get me out to the shops at an ungodly hour to get meds for him, he has got me to drive 180 miles for him and he has got me to drive 80 miles for him and he has got me to cook him meals for no extra money. While it has been nice it now is not! I am a fool, at least no harm has come to me, and I have a chance now to claim back some dignity. I am just so sad that I needed his company and I don't have that. 

Anyhow moving on tomorrow I am trying my best to have a no spend day, I really need to curb my senseless need to splurge on food items. I have the list to complete and get the place ready for the lodger, plus it would be good to make a banana cake again. Oh by the way the treacle tart this time didn't have enough syrup, but it did crisp so I am almost there!

Newstartforme

Hi CB , I definitely think the treacle tart looks such a simple dish but harder than it looks , does your mum remember grans recipe ?Don't stress too much re the lodger , any issues are down to your generous disposition and being hospitable , you can set tighter boundaries next time . Enjoy your weekend xx

CrazyBee787

Hi @Newstartforme treacle tart should be a simple dish I know all the ingredients (Short crust pastry base, blind baked, pour 150g cornflakes crushed, then heat syrup and lemon juice and pur over) The problem I now have is that I have not got enough syrup mixture, the cake is too dry. I am thinking of adding an extra 100g of syrup next time, actually I best write a short recipe to remind myself what I used as I don't fancy trying again right now! I have to many failed attempts to eat first! 🤣

I don't know what will happen with the lodger but I need it to go smoothly. I now have a problem with prosepective new lodger it is Saturday and he hasn't let me know what time he is coming I have messaged him but I still haven't received a response. I have been holding back from seeing other people, I guess I can just message someone else, but I hate having to decide, I rather take my time also, so i'll give him until tomorrow morning, before I move on to the next person, it is a bit laim really he should have been the one to reach out.

Thanks newstart I hope you have a good weekend tooXX

CrazyBee787

Today I have been feeling all sorts of tensions and frustrations I am not sure why. Maybe it is the suspense with the lodgers. I had a viewing this morning which did seem to go sort of okay. He had a nice deameanor, very friendly and sweet natured (I seem to attract that sort not as gf but as a lodger which I am very glad about), however I am not sure what it was that spurned it on, whether there was a thought or a conversation but I suddenly felt a bit like there was a lot of tension in the room. I did say to him on the way out that I would get back to him in two days about whether or not I thought he could have the room and he was going to decide also. I spoke to MD and she said maybe the tension was nerves if he was particularly shy and that may have been the tension I felt. Anyhow I got back and he had wrote a polite message to say that he had declined and I had another message at the same time that another potential I had been in conversation with was coming the afternoon just gone. I have met with him although brief I did get a good vibe from him, so I have already said that he could come if he wanted the room.

I have been spending a lot lately it is not great, I keep finding a need because I have resources I have been sort of recklessly spending which I need to curb. So tomorrow I will plan to have my first (hopefull of many) no spend day. I have to say I have been all over the place, I am not sure what is going on with me. Something is definetely up as in something is happening but I don't know what. It could be because my room mate found out about a girl (his first kiss) & (Family friend) has been murdered, I won't give you the details but it is obviously very sad. I am wondering if the tension I am feeling is coming from him, obviosuly hearing something like that is quite shocking.

On lighter news I have finished the first draft of my book, I won't say novel as it is not that big, it takes me 2.5 hours to read in full and I am not the fastest reader it is 82 A4 pages long including chapter names in the first page. MD said she is reading it in installments and she said she is enjoying it, she said there are times when you don't want to read but then something happens and you want to find out more, so it has good parts! and when she told me that I thought I felt quite a bit happier...something I have done has improved her enjoyment levels!

With the spending I was planning on having a no spend day, but when I saw the potential lodger was driving for hours and stuck in traffic I thought I better buy some tea and coffee and well I spent £15 (shortbread + Choc snacks) as it happened he didn't have any and came and went in about 5 mins, but never mind if he takes the room I will be much better off although I decided to knock off £50, as he is staying M-F (If he decides to that is) and thought I would really benefit from that and not having someone there at the weekend and I thought because of that I would feel a bit guilty it would plague my mind, MD knows this about me and said why don't you drop £50 from the price, so I did. I know a bit pathetic! but I am happier.

I don't know if I am a writer I haven't been inspired to write anything more at the moment (as in another story)  something has to really get me to want to write, But really I am hoping I get to the next stage of the interview process, I am not sure if I am writer material, but if I am inspired I will write again. I am going to see what MD feels about advertising my book not for her to do but whether or not it is good enough to advertise, if she thinks it is not a good idea then I think I will just publish it and leave it at least I have done what I aimed to do and write a story. Not to mention I wrote three other short stories that needed or wanted telling I am very pleased with those stories. 

Good night all that pass hereXX

Farmers-wife_2

Do many women apply to be your lodger? It might be more straightforward/ less complicated sharing with a women? 

CrazyBee787

Farmers-wife_2 said:

Do many women apply to be your lodger? It might be more straightforward/ less complicated sharing with a women? 

I have had one very bad experience with a women, but as it happens I have a female viewing the room tonight. Thanks for dropping byXX