Please god help, 60k in debt and feeling suicidal

Rob5342

kimwp said:

eleanorl89 said:

Rob5342 said:

That's a standard sort of letter. I'd do what they say and just wait for now and then tell whoever contacts you whether you can or can't make repayments. The letter MBNA sent me was very similer, I didn't respond and shortly afterwards I got a letter saying that it had been sold to Link Financial so I told them what I could afford to pay. They asked me to fill in an income and expenditure from so they could check that my offer was affordable and I've just been paying that since. They write every so often wanting to check that my repayments are still affordable.

Thanks Rob, it just worries me that they’ve mentioned potential court action. As have the default notices from all the lenders actually. Again, is this just standard? Was this mentioned to you in your letters? Or do they only say it if they do intend to pursue court proceedings? 

It's standard. If you go to court, the judge will only order you to pay what you can afford, so it's a waste of money for them to take you to court. 

Even if they did take legal action you would just be ordered to pay what you are paying anyway, so there is no need to lose any sleep over it.

From the DCAs point of view your debt is an investment, they buy thousands of them for 10% or less of their value with the intention of making a return over a number of years. If they get some of the money from some of them then they've made a good return, they don't need nor intend to get the full amount from every single one. 

Rob5342

eleanorl89 said:

Rob5342 said:

That's a standard sort of letter. I'd do what they say and just wait for now and then tell whoever contacts you whether you can or can't make repayments. The letter MBNA sent me was very similer, I didn't respond and shortly afterwards I got a letter saying that it had been sold to Link Financial so I told them what I could afford to pay. They asked me to fill in an income and expenditure from so they could check that my offer was affordable and I've just been paying that since. They write every so often wanting to check that my repayments are still affordable.

Thanks Rob, it just worries me that they’ve mentioned potential court action. As have the default notices from all the lenders actually. Again, is this just standard? Was this mentioned to you in your letters? Or do they only say it if they do intend to pursue court proceedings? 

I've just checked my folder and the letter MBNA sent me was absolutely identical. The next next thing I heard was a letter a month later saying it had been sold. 

NeverendingDMP

Just to say after you get over the shock factor of receiving the letter if you look back you will see how often it says may. We may this we may that. It's not likely any of these mays will happen. When you compare that to the we will, eg we will register the default on your credit file it gives an insight into the clever wording of the letters so as to make us all panic when we first get one. 
Practice the budget first and when you offer a repayment offer a bit less than you think you can afford as you will still be discovering all the things you haven't accounted for or underestimated in your current budget. 

sourcrates

Your account will be defaulted under sec 87(a) of the consumer credit act, if you look up the act on the internet, it explains the standard steps and notices a lender must take in order to do this.

They have "gilded the lily" ever so slightly with that particular letter, but the gist of it is just what the act specifies.

Original creditors just don`t take legal action here to recover bad debts, this is why the debt collection industry exists. Its easier and more cost effective for them, to sell the debt at a partial loss, or assign a collector to collect the debt on their behalf, than it is to take every defaulted account to court, so put legal action firmly out of your mind at this stage.

The only time you need to be aware of possible legal action, is once your accounts are sold, as debt purchasing companies will be proactive in their pursuit of the debts they buy, and ignoring them for a long period of time, can result in an appearance before the beak.

But that`s a long way off yet, and as with everything, there is a process to it all, what you need to do now, is wait until the default shows on your credit file, and whoever has been chosen to collect on this account has written to you, until then, do absolutely nothing nothing.

Grumpelstiltskin

Eleanor you have to stop panicking and worrying.

You need a completely different mindset.

You are in control not your creditors.

You make the decisions about when and how much you pay them, you don't let them make the decisions.

You know from looking at this section you are not the only person in this position, life goes on, it has to without all the worry.

RAS

eleanor, you might want to speak to your health visitor or perhaps to APNI or PANDAS about the difficulty you are having coping with having debt? And maybe talk to your partner.

It is still very soon after your baby was born and, even without sleep deprivation and debt, it's not uncommon to be overwhelmed by feelings at this time. You need to get support to cope with your feelings.

kimwp

It'll get easier as you work through the process, but it's understandable that it feels overwhelming. I think it will help if you are feeling worried, to read through the advice you've had on this thread (maybe extract it to a notebook or something, so you can summarise it), before posting and try to remember what you need to do. Then you can post to clarify or still post to say you are unsure. 

The reason I say this might help is it's about building patterns. If your pattern is to panic and immediately seek reassurance outside, then it can be helpful to replace this with thinking "what do I know already and what can I do about the situation". If you are still not sure, then absolutely asking for help is the right thing, but it's good to have tried to self-help first, because 1. You will embed the knowledge that you need 2. You will be more confident that you have the knowledge to manage this.

But if you need help, whatever kind, just post xx

eleanorl89

Thank you so much guys. And im so so sorry to be a drainer but on another note, my husband has just told me he has posted to reddit to get some advice of his own. He posted this in response to some questions

HUSBAND - “ For the cards, yes they're chopped up, any Apple Pay cards are deleted too.

We had the conversation and I'm told this is everything.

She's been talking on the MSE forum, I'm not sure it's as formal as StepChange though and I don’t think these people are remotely qualified to be advising her if I’m honest.

My concern now is, due to the total amount and current repayment terms, we can't afford to pay the monthly amounts. She is expecting to let the debt default and be sold on to a collection agency and hope to negotiate a nominal monthly fee. Is this completely unrealistic?

Thanks!”

POSTER REPLY - “ That is a poor course of action. You want the debt to remain with the original creditor - they will be far easier to deal with than debt collectors. If debt collectors get involved (and collections agencies is a fancy way of saying that) you might end up with her getting CCJs, then bailiffs, clamped cars...it can turn very horrible.

Tell her - don't ask - TELL her to contact StepChange. She needs to go through all the debts, everything, with them. They'll ask about her income and her outgoings, priority debts and so on.

StepChange will then come up with the best realistic plan, they will contact the creditors and arrange a repayment plan that your partner can afford and that the creditors are happy with.

As long as the repayment plan is stuck to - like glue - you won't hear much more and the debts will be paid off.

I cannot stress enough that her plan is kicking the can down the road and making it worse.

If I were in your shoes and my partner would not agree to the above, l'd be looking to separate my tinances totally.”

He’s just brought this up to me tonight and is absolutely freaking out, which in turn is setting me off. They are obviously giving different advice to what I’ve received on here, but I’ve no idea who he’s been talking to and i can see / understand that a lot of you on here have been in very similar situations and / or work in the area. I told him I trust what I’m being told on here. He is adamant on what he’s being told

God I just need this to be over, I actually can’t cope with it

fatbelly

I don't see any point in picking holes with advice from a random redditor through another person.

It's best we advise you direct and if you get spooked by anything, like fear of court action or statutory demand, then we talk you through that

You can see how long the regular posters have been helping people. Personally I am employed as a debt adviser with CA (20+years) and hold accreditation with IMA after passing a CertMAP course and having to maintain certain CPD points annually.

If someone posts info like the redditor, on this board, then one of us would gently correct it

We are of course not the only source of advice.

Citizens Advice can be good as long as you talk to someone qualified with a bit of experience.

Debt Camel is one of those advisers and I would trust her 100%

Stepchange are ok but they do have products to sell. Likewise Payplan.

National Debtline have very good factsheets and are independent

Community Money Advice can be very good if you have one close to you

sourcrates

Yes, you can go the stepchange route, but as they are funded by the creditors, they have an agenda to get you set up and repaying the debt as soon as possible, as we have explained, that is not always good for your credit file, nor your emergency fund, and they don`t always stop interest either.

Most of us on this forum have been through, or are currently going through debt issues, we have some fantastic genuine contributors on this board, so we know how things work in real life, how debt collection works, how creditors react, and what is the best way to deal with debt so that you at least regain some control over events.

Now I was once over 130k in debt, that was 20 years ago, I have dealt with virtually every creditor and every debt collector, and debt purchasing company that operates in this country, I have advised on these boards for 15 years, I have been an advisor to the Ministry of Justice, in essence I know what I`m talking about in regard to debt matters, as I have been there and done it, our approach is not the conventional one, convention dictates you should go with stepchange and set up a DMP immediately.

We have already explained why that may be a bad idea, but you are free to take that advice, we like to give posters a little helping hand, as we understand how the collection process actually works, all your debts will end up with debt collectors in time, as lenders do not have the resources to manage bad debts, which is why the debt collection industry exists.

You will need an emergency fund, common sense should tell you that, and it simply makes sense to start from a clean sheet, with as many defaulted accounts as possible, but we can only advise you, you are free to go your own way, but keep in mind we give this advise from personal experience, not from some internet chatroom.

I second the advice from fatbelly, above, Debt Camel and National Debtline are the only other truly independent sources of good debt advice.