Money Moral Dilemma: Should I give my child money for a property as I gave the others wedding money?

Annie2018

We did exactly this earlier this year. Why wouldn’t you? Surely parents’ role is to help their kids when they need it (if able to), be that wedding, house or whatever. It also means your gifting to the children becomes more equitable. 

longslong

I would just say the deposit is a gift and if they get married in the future it would only be fair for them to expect a small gift and not a contribution 

thelordgiveth

My understanding is that gifts out of income (that is, over and above the £3,000) have to be part of a regular pattern. In which case you can't give any sum you like in just one year and say "that's it"; you have to keep on making a similar level of payment in subsequent years for it to fall outside the IHT net. It's also important that you (and your executor) have a clear record that the gifts are being made out of excess income. In theory HMRC could also query with your executor whether your standard of living was really unaffected but I doubt they bother unless the sums are really large.

Of course of you live seven years (he typed on the eve of the budget) it's not subject to IHT anyway. So don't sign that DNR form just yet...

CultureVult

You could talk to all three of your children and explain that's what you're intending to do, and ask their opinion. Then give child 3 the choice.

Curio567

I did just that. We paid towards the weddings of 2 daughters and gave the same amount to a 3rd daughter towards a deposit for a house. She understands that if she ever marries we wouldn't be paying for it. She was over the moon.

squirrel59

Sounds like a lovely plan, and very fair. Just make clear you're not also going to pay for any future wedding

Kay_co

Imo the money is better spent on property than a wedding that is over in a day. I would cancel the loan to them making it clear there will be nothing towards a wedding in the event they choose to get married. The cost of the wedding is then in their control rather than having a comparable wedding to siblings. 

Pollycat

Your money to do with as you please.

dustyhouse

I agree with MikeJXE. What you give to one you give to the other. We have two daughters, one married the other not.  We have given the same amount to the unmarried one towards a deposit on her flat as we gave for the others wedding.  We did ask her if she wanted to wait incase she married, but after a number of years we gave it to her.  Better that she had the use of it.

Shezza11

My question is 'what happens when the single child gets married?'. Do you tell them you aren't helping as you assisted them with their deposit? Will this cause upset at a wonderful time in their life? Personally, I would make the deposit a loan and see what happens in the future.