Scam?

Exodi

[Deleted User] said:

It seems like the more we try to convince him, the more he wants to prove us wrong!

A bit of a digression but one of my guilty pleasures is watching this show about romance scams. I shudder to think how many hundreds of hours of experiences I've watched.

The reason I mention this is because it struck a chord with what you said. While you'd be forgiven for assuming that people would be reaching out to a show that investigates romance scams because they think they are involved in a romance scam, and thus would appreciate the research team confirming their suspicions that their loved one may not be who they say they are, you would be wrong!

The vast majority of people contact the show solely motivated to prove everyone/their relatives wrong. It is clear in the introductions and initial private conversations that they have given no thought whatsoever to the possibility that they could be wrong.

I don't know the physiologic reason for it, but it's clear to me from watching people react, that it is nearly impossible to convince someone that they are being scammed if they are not open to the possibility.

In relation to this thread, I suspect that the only reason he was drawing attention to the contract, was because it seemed the easiest way to shut you up. He doesn't care what you think about it, he believes in his heart that he knows better. He has already romanticized about what he'll be spending the money on.

Nonetheless reading your final post, I wouldn't count the chickens before they hatch, if we're honest with ourselves the only reason he didn't send the money was because the bank refused to let him, but I doubt this will be the end of it.

The fact he wants to speak to the scammers again instead of blocking them straight away is a giant red flag. This behvaiour happens in romance scams ("I'm going to tell him I know he's scamming me and make him apologise") and you can be 100% sure they will both never give him closure and also do all they can to reassure him that the bank was wrong and it's because of some other reason, and has he heard of western union or bitcoin?

Media has conditioned me to expect happy endings from things, but I genuinely fear that this will not stop until he has lost his money. I'm already expecting that after he sends the £4k, they'll tell him they have £40k for him a few months later (which he may even brag to you about), which they'll release if he pays the 'taxes' on it or the 'transaction fees'. It will never end.

jaypers

Great news regarding the Bank and progress made. Strongly recommend he never engages with them again…….to speak to them to say he isn’t going to pay may well be the beginning of him being sucked in again. I hope not but it’s a risk. Good news anyway.

[Deleted User]

Would just like to update.

The bank my relative enganged with was Santander.  He spoke to their Fraud department who were very helpful and supportive,  He has read the posts on here, and finally decided to finish the scam  

They phoned this afternoon and he told them that he was not going through with it, and they replied that their legal department would contact him as he had signed the contract.

He has now blocked the numbers on his phone, and is going to block all international numbers, also blocked them from emailing.

Hope he has learned not to be so trusting, and not to speak to cold callers.

Thanks everyone for your help and advice.

mebu60

Interesting that it was Santander, frequently panned on here for their perceived over-zealous anti-fraud measures! 

mikb

Sg28 said:

 Western Union won't be as helpful as his bank were. 

Depending on where they are based and how bothered they are, nor will the nice courier that will call at the door to collect cash in a completely secure and not at all scamtastic way ...

artyboy

Ivkoto said:

Tell your relative to watch "The Beekeeper" with Jason Statham
https://g.co/kgs/VbGRnYU

Having accidentally watched that overly derivative pile of crud, I can only assume you feel he needs to be further punished for his naivity... 

gelato_cat

[Deleted User] said:

Would just like to update.

The bank my relative enganged with was Santander.  He spoke to their Fraud department who were very helpful and supportive,  He has read the posts on here, and finally decided to finish the scam  

They phoned this afternoon and he told them that he was not going through with it, and they replied that their legal department would contact him as he had signed the contract.

He has now blocked the numbers on his phone, and is going to block all international numbers, also blocked them from emailing.

Hope he has learned not to be so trusting, and not to speak to cold callers.

Thanks everyone for your help and advice.

That's a great result!  Thank you for sharing.  I hope he gets some peace from the scammers now.

Rollinghome

Good for him.  He did exactly the right thing and should be proud of himself. 

These evil low-life can turn a comfortable retirement into poverty and totally destroy lives when they get away with it.  We're all at risk. Hope he'll warn others who might get their phone-calls how they operate.

jaypers

There is a valuable lesson here that we must all look out for this sort of thing happening, with a particular focus on our elderly of vulnerable relatives. It happened to a friend of mines dad recently……different type of scam but it involved a phone call and him being tricked out of money. My friend is very switched on to this type of thing and had also coached her dad about the risks, regardless of which he still fell for it. She was on it very quickly and they managed to recover their money from their Bank so they were lucky. It’s happening under our noses all of the time. 

Rollinghome

Please also remember that the guy who these people tried to scam might be reading this.  

He hasn't been "brainwashed".  He has been simply the target of would-be thieves using ruthless and well practised, high-pressure sales techniques. He's dealt with those low-life and let's hope he never hears from them or their like again.  If he does, then he is now more knowledgable and better equipped to deal with them.

This type of scam can catch anyone, regardless of age, so we shouldn't assume that because the intended victim is elderly he must be loosing his marbles.  

I'm likely to be of a similar age as him, if not older, and understand that though we might be a little slower than we once were, we also have the edge of life experience. We very much appreciate good intentions, but don't want to be treated as backward children.  Doing so isn't good for anyone's confidence.

Let's just wish him well, and be ready with suggestions if he asks for them.