Adapting to retirement

Nebulous2

I've commented before about my difficulty in adapting to retirement. 

How my decision to retire was less planned than that of many people here, that we checked our finances, were confident that I could afford to go, but didn't give enough thought to what I was going to do in retirement. The psychological aspect, rather than the financial one. That I quickly took a part-time job to help bridge the gap. 

Three years on, I'm more at peace with myself, the part-time role has helped, and I'm considering giving it up. The money has been good, we expected to draw down a lot of our capital between me stopping and reaching SPA, but we find ourselves with more capital than we started with, despite some big items of expenditure. That has its own issues however, as I've become fond of having that cushion, where originally it was simply a means to an end. 

I've just found this article, which I think helps explain how it has been for me. 

Why So Many Men are Bad at Retirement | Kiplinger

What do you think? Have you found that the greener grass wasn't as good as you thought? Is this a peculiarly male phenomenon, do we have less tools for adapting to our changed circumstances than women?

elsien

The article is a bit US focused so things like where it says women have annual health screening and men don’t doesn’t apply in the UK. 

However, despite not being a man based on 50s role models, I know I’m going to struggle psychologically unless I wind down towards retirement. Work is a bigger part of my life and anything else at the moment, and it does define a lot of who I feel I am, So there’s no way in hell I’m going be able to go for full time work to nothing and keep my sanity unless I start putting things in place now.
My mother is the same – she managed six months retirement before she got another job and carried on working till mid 70s. 

I think it’s less about perceptions of male/ female stereotypes And more about what else you have in your life and whether you have maintained a good  balance and have lots going on outside of it. 

Ibrahim5

My thoughts were "Do I want to die working or have a retirement?".
"I want a retirement. Will I find it easier changing when I am younger or older?". In my experience younger people adapt to change better. So earlier retirement seemed like the best plan. For some reason I always thought of the John Lennon quote "It's like getting out of one car and into another" I know it was about dying but somehow it seems appropriate to retirement too. My work had lots of ups and downs so if I ever think of the ups, I then have to remember the downs and on balance I am happier retired.

Marcon

I think there's a lot in the question 'Are you retiring to stop doing something you don't want to do (work), or to start doing things you do want to do?'.

If you retire, for whatever reason, and there is nothing you want to do, and nobody with whom to (not) do it, the transition from work to retirement is pretty much guaranteed to be tricky.

Hoenir

Nebulous2 said:

What do you think? Have you found that the greener grass wasn't as good as you thought? Is this a peculiarly male phenomenon, do we have less tools for adapting to our changed circumstances than women?

Depending on how you spent your working life can take time to adapt.  Start new hobbys or pastimes, join groups that will extent your social contact, volunteer your time to a good cause that helps others. After spending my life time chained to a desk. Having the freedom to go walking in the open countryside, taking up lawn bowls, volunteering for the National Trust, listening to my record collection.  Has opened a completely new chapter. 

RAS

I discovered that I could retire early without penalty, that working another 2 years added almost nothing to my monthly pension, and had health issues that weren't helped by my sedentary job.

I worked way beyond my contracted hours and sometimes beyond my grade in a volatile environment. And that limited my ability to engage with other activities I enjoyed.

I didn't get any "preparing for retirement" courses and choose to to go cold-turkey because I knew three days a week would rapidly become 25-30 hours.

I also decided not to take on any further outside commitments for the first year although I was prepared to work elsewhere part-time, minimum wage of needed. I took most of that time to just wind down and because I had more time my financial needs reduced. It took 18 months for the health issues to improve and I'm leaner and fitter today. I am able to be with myself, although I struggle some times. Part of that is about accepting change, and that even welcome change involve loss and grief as well as gain and opportunity.

If you're used to high cost, high velocity holidays and mini-breaks, may you need to adjust your expectations. I've still travelled abroad although sunbeds drive me crazy so the slightly off season breaks in honey pots, and off-piste destinations suit me.

eastcorkram

Marcon said:

I think there's a lot in the question 'Are you retiring to stop doing something you don't want to do (work), or to start doing things you do want to do?'.

If you retire, for whatever reason, and there is nothing you want to do, and nobody with whom to (not) do it, the transition from work to retirement is pretty much guaranteed to be tricky.

I am definitely in the former, and need to find my way into the latter by the end of this year. That leap seems impossible at the moment, so will probably take the leap into nothingness, and then try to make the transition after a rest. At the moment though, it's blank. 

Nebulous2

elsien said:

The article is a bit US focused so things like where it says women have annual health screening and men don’t doesn’t apply in the UK. 

However, despite not being a man based on 50s role models, I know I’m going to struggle psychologically unless I wind down towards retirement. Work is a bigger part of my life and anything else at the moment, and it does define a lot of who I feel I am, So there’s no way in hell I’m going be able to go for full time work to nothing and keep my sanity unless I start putting things in place now.
My mother is the same – she managed six months retirement before she got another job and carried on working till mid 70s. 

I think it’s less about perceptions of male/ female stereotypes And more about what else you have in your life and whether you have maintained a good  balance and have lots going on outside of it. 

I'm not saying I relate to everything in the article, but much of it resonates with me.

I'm aware that you work in care, and that has been my life as well. Switching between practitioner roles and management roles. That brings with it a sense of purpose, of responsibility and of value, or it did for me anyway.  That was cut-off on stopping work after 40 years. 

I'm picking up from comments here though that most people found or find the transition easier than I did. 

Green_hopeful

I retired unexpectedly when I was dismissed last year. Not for anything I did wrong but work politics. Initially i had lots to do, refurbishing a house and sorting things out. Then in the winter I had a period of not wanting to do anything, although I did a couple of courses. But feeling generally a bit down. I searched and I watched a video on the stages of retirement. It made me feel a bit better understanding the process and now I am generally at peace with it. We have been quite busy just doing the things we would have squeezed into our evenings and weekends but doing more of them or doing them more slowly. I think it’s not just about the activities you might do but how you feel about the process. 

GibbsRule_No3.

Ibrahim5 said:

My thoughts were "Do I want to die working or have a retirement?".
"I want a retirement. Will I find it easier changing when I am younger or older?". In my experience younger people adapt to change better. So earlier retirement seemed like the best plan. For some reason I always thought of the John Lennon quote "It's like getting out of one car and into another" I know it was about dying but somehow it seems appropriate to retirement too. My work had lots of ups and downs so if I ever think of the ups, I then have to remember the downs and on balance I am happier retired.

Interesting question “Do I want to die working or have a retirement?”. 

I hit 70 the other week and after my sister joking with me, when I reached SP age 65yrs 9 mths, saying I should keep going to 70, (she went at SP and regretted it a bit but did not like her job at the end) I did continue, granted three days at first and now two days, so I feel I am retired, even though I still go to work for two days a week, doing what I have for the past 53 years. No hardship as I like the work. I really like the extra spending money it gives me. Has not impacted on my social retirement life, holidays etc.  If my health continues to be okay I am more than happy to trot on until my work suggests I leave.  If my health deteriorates then I will leave and not with regrets. Mentally and physically it is good for me to continue and it is great knowing all the work politics can be ignored, since I can leave when I like.

sgx2000

I am retiring next Friday..... woohoo...

Retiring to be house husband.... ( wife 17 years younger)  so I will do all the housework and loads of diy...
Batroom and kitchen to gut & redo....

So busy for a while...

At 64 I am more than happy to take the voluntary redundancy

I have seen, far to often, colleagues working past state pension age until their health gives way......
Way better to retire early enough to enjoy some of your retirement in relatively good health.......

But as I am not retired until Friday, I guess I have a lot to learn/experience.....

As a rule I generally dont like change.....
But I really am looking forward to it.....