Adapting to retirement

twopenny

I think it depends on mindset. Are you a person who is interested in all sorts of things or one who has no ambition to do things that aren't prescribed as they are in work.

I had little time for the things I loved when I was working.

You have to dig out what there is to do around you, things that interest you. I have more things that I'd like to do than I have time for. Holidays have always been where I want to go and for the best price which takes a lot of research but it just as rewarding. Perhaps I appreciate them more because I've had to put in the effort.

And I have the choice if I want to do something useful or just put it off for another day and take off to do something for fun.

The loosing friends thing has come to bite me since the pandemic - but there is good advice I heard, join as many things as you can. Stick with the ones you like and ditch those you don't. These activities introduce you to a wide range of people to socialise with.

SarahB16

Sarahspangles said:

OH retired a couple of years ago, and I’m on countdown. A few years ago, if you asked us what we were planning to do in retirement, it would have revolved around providing help to our parents and grandchildren. As well as the usual ‘lots of holidays’. However we’re no longer needed by parents (sadly) and grandchildren are hardly a twinkle.

We both feel our careers were/are ‘worthwhile’ in terms of society. I sometimes catch myself thinking OH’s hobbies are pointless, even though he’s busy and happy. Meanwhile I’m not sure how to retire, because previous generations of women in my family were mostly housewives and their routine barely changed as they ticked past 60. There are certainly home-based activities that I haven’t had time to do, but I’m not retiring to become a housewife.

The activities that you and your OH enjoy doing you will have more time to do but also perhaps consider looking at new activities that you can take part in too with other people. 

Have you heard of Meet Up?  Perhaps download the app or look on their website and see what Meet Up groups there are, perhaps there are local walking groups that you may wish to join (or you could join the Ramblers)?  Is there a group that maybe goes to the cinema, theatre, etc? 

Is there a u3a group near to you?  Take a look on their website www.u3a.org.uk 

I talked earlier on about the benefits of volunteering in your local community.  Is there something you would like to improve in your local area and could a few of you get together to help change/improve whatever that is?  If so then post on your local Facebook group looking for volunteers and maybe get together and do that.  

God willing when I retire I won't be rushing into lots of new activities.  I would hope to retire in early summer and just get a feel for how much free time I have.  My friends are a similar age to me so when I retire some will have retired and others won't and will then get a better idea of how much free time I have.  I work full time and also volunteer in my local community and plan to continue with the volunteering work into retirement. 

One word of advice if you don't mind me saying is please do activities that are not just you and your OH as if anything happens to one of you it is far better if you already have a local circle of friends.  

You're definitely doing the right thing by thinking ahead to your retirement and no harm going along to some of the groups even before you retire.  

Sarahspangles

SarahB16 said:

Sarahspangles said:

OH retired a couple of years ago, and I’m on countdown. A few years ago, if you asked us what we were planning to do in retirement, it would have revolved around providing help to our parents and grandchildren. As well as the usual ‘lots of holidays’. However we’re no longer needed by parents (sadly) and grandchildren are hardly a twinkle.

We both feel our careers were/are ‘worthwhile’ in terms of society. I sometimes catch myself thinking OH’s hobbies are pointless, even though he’s busy and happy. Meanwhile I’m not sure how to retire, because previous generations of women in my family were mostly housewives and their routine barely changed as they ticked past 60. There are certainly home-based activities that I haven’t had time to do, but I’m not retiring to become a housewife.

The activities that you and your OH enjoy doing you will have more time to do but also perhaps consider looking at new activities that you can take part in too with other people. 

Have you heard of Meet Up?  Perhaps download the app or look on their website and see what Meet Up groups there are, perhaps there are local walking groups that you may wish to join (or you could join the Ramblers)?  Is there a group that maybe goes to the cinema, theatre, etc? 

Is there a u3a group near to you?  Take a look on their website www.u3a.org.uk 

I talked earlier on about the benefits of volunteering in your local community.  Is there something you would like to improve in your local area and could a few of you get together to help change/improve whatever that is?  If so then post on your local Facebook group looking for volunteers and maybe get together and do that.  

God willing when I retire I won't be rushing into lots of new activities.  I would hope to retire in early summer and just get a feel for how much free time I have.  My friends are a similar age to me so when I retire some will have retired and others won't and will then get a better idea of how much free time I have.  I work full time and also volunteer in my local community and plan to continue with the volunteering work into retirement. 

One word of advice if you don't mind me saying is please do activities that are not just you and your OH as if anything happens to one of you it is far better if you already have a local circle of friends.  

You're definitely doing the right thing by thinking ahead to your retirement and no harm going along to some of the groups even before you retire.  

We sound similar - I’ve been a Trustee for years, and for one of my interests I found a club that meets one evening a week, and we’re both involved in an informal group that meets socially at weekends a couple of times a month. I’m already fitting this in with work and finding time for the gym. I guess I just keep going and hope I’m not bored.

I’m wary about local clubs and societies, the one I belong to already has a committee and minutes, and all the usual parish pump politics! I’d prefer something more informal.

zagfles

SarahB16 said:

Sarahspangles said:

OH retired a couple of years ago, and I’m on countdown. A few years ago, if you asked us what we were planning to do in retirement, it would have revolved around providing help to our parents and grandchildren. As well as the usual ‘lots of holidays’. However we’re no longer needed by parents (sadly) and grandchildren are hardly a twinkle.

We both feel our careers were/are ‘worthwhile’ in terms of society. I sometimes catch myself thinking OH’s hobbies are pointless, even though he’s busy and happy. Meanwhile I’m not sure how to retire, because previous generations of women in my family were mostly housewives and their routine barely changed as they ticked past 60. There are certainly home-based activities that I haven’t had time to do, but I’m not retiring to become a housewife.

The activities that you and your OH enjoy doing you will have more time to do but also perhaps consider looking at new activities that you can take part in too with other people. 

Have you heard of Meet Up?  Perhaps download the app or look on their website and see what Meet Up groups there are, perhaps there are local walking groups that you may wish to join (or you could join the Ramblers)?  Is there a group that maybe goes to the cinema, theatre, etc? 

Is there a u3a group near to you?  Take a look on their website www.u3a.org.uk 

I talked earlier on about the benefits of volunteering in your local community.  Is there something you would like to improve in your local area and could a few of you get together to help change/improve whatever that is?  If so then post on your local Facebook group looking for volunteers and maybe get together and do that.  

God willing when I retire I won't be rushing into lots of new activities.  I would hope to retire in early summer and just get a feel for how much free time I have.  My friends are a similar age to me so when I retire some will have retired and others won't and will then get a better idea of how much free time I have.  I work full time and also volunteer in my local community and plan to continue with the volunteering work into retirement. 

One word of advice if you don't mind me saying is please do activities that are not just you and your OH as if anything happens to one of you it is far better if you already have a local circle of friends.  

You're definitely doing the right thing by thinking ahead to your retirement and no harm going along to some of the groups even before you retire.  

Yes and this is probably good advice for the dynamic of the relationship anyway - if you go from working separately and having just evenings & weekends together, to being together 24/7, it's likely to put a strain on the relationship. Virtually all the extra stuff wife and I have been doing since (semi) retirement are stuff we do separately.   

cfw1994

zagfles said:

SarahB16 said:

(snip)

One word of advice if you don't mind me saying is please do activities that are not just you and your OH as if anything happens to one of you it is far better if you already have a local circle of friends.  

You're definitely doing the right thing by thinking ahead to your retirement and no harm going along to some of the groups even before you retire.  

Yes and this is probably good advice for the dynamic of the relationship anyway - if you go from working separately and having just evenings & weekends together, to being together 24/7, it's likely to put a strain on the relationship. Virtually all the extra stuff wife and I have been doing since (semi) retirement are stuff we do separately.   

For a contrary view, and I do appreciate we are all different:
I was home-based for over 20 years before giving up the day job, so we were used to being together a lot: the vast majority of what we do is together, & we love it 😎

That said, we also have a large friends group…had a long afternoon yesterday on a pub crawl in a group of 10 pals, then tonight watched the final with a dozen others: the tapas food and English puddings made up for the disappointing result 👀

We do have our own hobbies: crafty and cycling are mostly separate, but we do spend a lot of time together.  Perhaps depends on your relationship as to how well that works 🤷‍♂️
So far, the only properly new thing we have taken up is pickleball….

I do also agree that spring is the best time to retire….lazy summer days ahead (both of them🤣)   Stopping with winter round the corner, unless your plan is to head to the sun, might be a little dispiriting, imho…

zagfles said:

This thread's worth a read What to do with all your time? - Page 3 — MoneySavingExpert Forum

I forgot I started that thread 🤣
I suspect it might be there I first heard of pickleball - the fastest growing sport in America right now 👍

prowla

BikingBud said:

prowla said:

I'm not planning to retire; my work is interesting, keeps my brain active, and gives me a decent income.

People who retire turn a grey colour and go and play bingo.

I still haven't figured out what I want to do when I grow up!

Do you have to be a "grown up" to retire🤪

Good point! :-)

sgx2000

BikingBud said:

Do you have to be a "grown up" to retire🤪

Lol.....
I did find myself thinking, the other day..  'I feel too young to retire'.....
Then I moved,.... and remembered,  the aches, pains, and dodgy knee replacement, shortness of breath......lol

Ok.... now is the time......

Ibrahim5

I retired at 50. I remember going to my first U3A lecture. After a few seconds, they all started shouting at him to speak loudly and started playing with their hearing aids. I didn't really feel that I had much in common with them. It's something for the future though. I know it exists and will do more as I age.

Albermarle

Ibrahim5 said:

I retired at 50. I remember going to my first U3A lecture. After a few seconds, they all started shouting at him to speak loudly and started playing with their hearing aids. I didn't really feel that I had much in common with them. It's something for the future though. I know it exists and will do more as I age.

From looking at photos on their website and from occasional comments on this forum, I have the impression that most attendees of U3A are female and over 60/65?
Also that the name University is a bit misleading, as most activities are more things like walks and craft based etc.

katejo

Albermarle said:

Ibrahim5 said:

I retired at 50. I remember going to my first U3A lecture. After a few seconds, they all started shouting at him to speak loudly and started playing with their hearing aids. I didn't really feel that I had much in common with them. It's something for the future though. I know it exists and will do more as I age.

From looking at photos on their website and from occasional comments on this forum, I have the impression that most attendees of U3A are female and over 60/65?
Also that the name University is a bit misleading, as most activities are more things like walks and craft based etc.

I haven't looked into this yet but remember a friend of my Mum learning a new language there.