Regret buying house or just irrational thinking?

FreeBear

RHemmings said: make a list of things that can be done, and tick them off one by one. 

 One of the compromises of my house is the small kitchen, and through not sorting things out, it got cluttered. I found it unusable, and again thought 'OMG, what have I done'. But, I bit the bullet and complete decluttered it. With one of my work surfaces being hinged, I could unclip that and leave it hanging down, and the decluttered remaining workspaces are good for my purposes, so that has been a big boost for me. I can use this kitchen, but it cannot become cluttered.

When you make a list, first item should be "Make a list", and then tick it straight away. Break the big jobs down in to smaller tasks so that they can be ticked off quicker.

With my kitchen I made conscious decision not to have wall cupboards (it is only 3.4 by 2.4m) - Light coloured walls, six down lights, and the space feels much larger. Not having much cupboard space concentrates the mind and limits the amount of hoarding. Clutter on the work surfaces is still an issue though.... 

pseudodox

Sounds like you have bought "the worst house" in the best location you could realistically afford, which is a huge positive.  You can improve a house but you cannot improve the street/neighbours/local amenities so you have made a good choice.  I have improved 2 such houses in the past, tackling one room at a time.  The house I am in now was so depressing & dated I decided to tackle all the basics in one fell swoop then live in the shell.  2 days after I moved in I hired a skip & ripped out all the carpets, nasty tiles off kitchen & bathroom walls, shabby fitted wardrobes, most of the kitchen (leaving just the sink & cooker) & started stripping wallpaper & removing water damaged laminate flooring.  The house did need a complete re-wire thanks to bodged DIY by previous owner.  But all the dust & dirt that involved somehow felt better than the shabby interior on day one.

Make yourself a temporary retreat in a second bedroom then clean & decorate the main one - the day you move into that newly refurbished room will be a huge milestone as it will be all yous & not the remnant of another's life.

Stay positive.  This is your own home.  You can do what you like with it & it can only be improved to be more "you".

RHemmings

Sim1N said:

I really appreciate everyone’s comment it’s made me feel less alone. I’m quite tearful that people have taken their time to read and respond to me.

We are fortunate that we have decent paid jobs (we are not wealthy or privileged in any sense, just normal working class backgrounds) most people wouldn’t be able to buy a 3 bed semi for their first house specially in the current financial climate. I think something that is niggling at us is that if we had spent £40k-£50k more we would have had a house we could have just moved straight in to. But the location might not have been as good. We could have borrowed a lot more affordability wise than we have (we’ve borrowed around £120k less than the mortgage providers were offering!) and decided not to as we didn’t want sky high repayments and no free money to do enjoyable things to have that balance, so I would like to think we have been sensible in our borrowing. But there’s just that thought in our heads of “we could have spent more and not had the hassle”

Remember that if you borrow £40-50k more, then the amount you pay in total is increased by more than £40-50k. Depending on other numbers defining your mortgage, the potentially hundreds of pounds extra per month on the mortgage would pay for a lot of cleaning, or a professional tradesperson per month. (I'm not saying that a cleaner isn't a tradesperson, but they cost a lot less than plumbers and electricians, which is why I split the classification.) 

FlyMeSomewhere79

Hang on there, culture shock and anxiety is normal when you suddenly leave a home that felt like home to move to somewhere that's completely unfamiliar.

My partner and I previously lived in a semi that was built in1960 and when we bought it in 2007 it was dated as hell. You'll be surprised how quickly you can start making changes though, ripping up a carpet and putting a nice colour of paint on a wall can make a big difference easily.

We ended up living in that house for 16.5 years and absolutely loving it, the only reason we moved this year was because road and neighbour noise started to do our heads in. We moved to a nice detached house in a peaceful area in March and even then, I was suddenly worried once we moved in that it might be too quiet and peaceful - I soon got over that though!

The thing is when you do up older houses, they gain you equity, they are a popular buy because modern houses are so small in comparison. We bought our 1960 semi for £110k and sold it for £169k with all bar about £50k of mortgage to pay - that's all your own money to invest in better houses. 

AskAsk

I have bought many properties in my time, and I always feel disappointed when i get the keys!  You are not the only person to feel this.

Only one property has not had this reaction as it was done up super duper and the seller handed it over in a spotlessly clean state.  Not everyone does that.

Just try to calm down and deal with the issues one by one.  A house always look worse when it is empty with all the marks left where the furniture was placed.

Get a spring clean, that will help to lighten your mood and get it redecorated.  But stick with it, when you have made it your home, it will be fine.

Grizebeck

I immediately had buyers regret as I thought the house seemed way smaller once I owned it
7 months month later renovated the whole lot and we have made the right choice.
Honestly I was a bit down but once I owned it until we knocked 7 bells out of the place and I couldn't be more happy 

Flugelhorn

elsien said:

Not so much buyer’s remorse because it was the best of what I could’ve afford, but I walked into my new house and had a heart sinking moment.
The sellers had cleaned it and even set the fire for me (and left a bottle of wine) but it just looked grubby and rundown, which wasn’t how I remembered it. 

I think, because it was a first purchase, I wasn’t expecting the marks on the wall where the pictures had come down and left a silhouette so where I had expected to go in and not have to decorate it decorating straightaway. Also, I had very little in the way of things to personalise it it just didn’t feel like home to start with. 

All fairly normal in retrospect but still a bit of a let down initially.

^ yes the outlines of pictures... look so grubby - you can try running around with cheap pictures and covering them up 

On the other side of the coin, I sold mother's property under probate - cleaned all the carpets, cleaned ++ it was very dated but we did our best. Just prior to completion I got house clearance to come and take the last of the furniture etc - as they moved one item I realised the wall behind it  was really badly damaged - must have been father in his electric wheelchair 20 years before and mother must have  just stuck something in front of it to cover it up. if I had known I would have got it re-plastered but didn't have time - just felt really bad that the buyers would see it like that. There was a lot of work to be done and hopefully it was just dealt with in decorating that room.  Suspect all forgotten in time but empty houses can look awful 

TheJP

I'm going to seem harsh but hopefully it will help put things into perspective;

1. Welcome to home ownership - most houses aren't as they seem when they are empty and you own it.
2. Quite often as an FTB you have rose tinted glasses view of homeownership, it gets easier each time.
3. Things will and do go wrong in a house, its part of the game of home ownership. Finding a trusted trade is the solution.
4. Don't act on your emotions, that will get you into an even deeper hole. Rational logic helps.
5. It takes time to get a house into a home that you had a vision of.

Sim1N

GrannyKate said:

We bought our first house 55 years ago just 6 months before our wedding.  We got a 3 bedroom semi rather than a 2 bedroom terrace because it was in such bad condition. Late DH did some work before the wedding and I moved in on Sunday after we married on the Saturday.  It had been a struggle to get the deposit together and we had to borrow money from family for food until next pay day.  I had moments of panic at what we had done but we made it into a home gradually and stayed 5 years before moving area.  I could eventually look back and laugh at the adventure. The day our first son became mobile we realised that having floorboards in the spare room was now urgent.  The small wet patch on bedroom carpet which DH felt the need to investigate at 11pm - there was a nail through central heating pipe and entire system emptied itself as soon as he moved the carpet.  

With regard to toilet flush I have resolved to not have the push button type in my new house when I move.  I had a contract with a national company for plumbing but they made a mess of mine and I ended up paying a recommended local plumber to fix it.  His prices are reasonable and I have used him ever since.  As others have said ask the neighbours and look for recommendations. As a widow I have had to learn to deal with tradespeople for the first time in my life and have gradually collected a list of trusted people.  I recently had to have some rendering repaired and I got quotes and went with someone who actually lives in my village.  He did a good job on time for agreed price and asked me to give him a review if I was happy with his work.  

As others have said tackle things one at a time, make a list, have a room to relax in as a priority, don't lie in bed fretting get up and do a little job, get a cleaner in to deep clean where you can, look on the move as the beginning of being a home owner not the end. 

Good luck. 

Thank you so much that’s very helpful. I know it’s part of the process we just feel so unmotivated and just not at all how we expected to feel

Sim1N

elsien said:

Not so much buyer’s remorse because it was the best of what I could’ve afford, but I walked into my new house and had a heart sinking moment.
The sellers had cleaned it and even set the fire for me (and left a bottle of wine) but it just looked grubby and rundown, which wasn’t how I remembered it. 

I think, because it was a first purchase, I wasn’t expecting the marks on the wall where the pictures had come down and left a silhouette so where I had expected to go in and not have to decorate it decorating straightaway. Also, I had very little in the way of things to personalise it it just didn’t feel like home to start with. 

All fairly normal in retrospect but still a bit of a let down initially.

Yes thanks for that it is a shock. I’m just glad it’s not just us that feel this way