Regret buying house or just irrational thinking?

Sim1N

gwynlas said:

You can do this it is like eating an elephant one bite at a time. There are companies that clean after hoarders have died in properties so yours cannot be that bad, look for somebody who does end of tenancy cleaning. Thank you I may do that l, I wasn’t sure how to search other than cleaners but “end of tenancy” cleaners sounds good. 

You have been very MSE in not borrowing the maximum you could have to buy a turn key house but you can afford to spend a little doing things up. Yes I feel we have been sensible in that respect but feel like idiots in others. I know we can’t sit and dwell on it it’s done now and the house is bought, we need to move forward, it’s just very difficult at the moment.

Remember to get a number of quotes and references to avoid employing cowboys. The plumber I got yesterday was rated 4.9pm Google, but like others have said word of mouth is seemingly the best as the reviews on Google and so on can be false (in this case I genuinely can’t see how they can’t be false!) and no one would know.

Appreciate your advice thank you

Sim1N

TheJP said:

I'm going to seem harsh but hopefully it will help put things into perspective;

1. Welcome to home ownership - most houses aren't as they seem when they are empty and you own it.
2. Quite often as an FTB you have rose tinted glasses view of homeownership, it gets easier each time.
3. Things will and do go wrong in a house, its part of the game of home ownership. Finding a trusted trade is the solution.
4. Don't act on your emotions, that will get you into an even deeper hole. Rational logic helps.
5. It takes time to get a house into a home that you had a vision of.

No this is not harsh at all it’s just what we need to hear I appreciate your comment.

It doesn’t help that we have had certain family members being negative too saying they wouldn’t have bought that house. Its ok for them though, they are on their 4th house which is now perfect and got on the ladder in the early 1980s in their early 20s. So clearly no, I wouldn’t expect them to buy a house like this. To get a house like they have in the area we have bought would have cost us atleast £80k more than what we have bought this house for. It’s frustrating that some people don’t realise what a struggle it can be to get on the ladder these days

GrannyKate

Take no notice of relatives giving the benefit of their opinion - what you need are family members who would like to come and help.  Daughter of a friend completed on their first home a few weeks ago and initial reaction very much like yours.  I am downsizing and many smaller bungalows are uncared for, empty and dirty.  I just have to look through that and see what I could make of the home in time.  I know it will not be easy to give up my lovely home but I have accepted it is too big and not in the right place.  

Skiddaw1

OP, I don't know whether any of your dear cats are rescue cats but it might help to think of your new house as being a bit like a poor, neglected, cat who is desperately looking for a forever home. You and your partner are the lovely people who have adopted the poor house. Just like taking on a rescue cat there'll be challenges and obstacles along the way but you'll have the pleasure and satisfaction of seeing the house become the bright, happy, confident, beautiful house it should always have been (and it'll be all due to you ).

Good luck!

Sim1N

GrannyKate said:

Take no notice of relatives giving the benefit of their opinion - what you need are family members who would like to come and help.  Daughter of a friend completed on their first home a few weeks ago and initial reaction very much like yours.  I am downsizing and many smaller bungalows are uncared for, empty and dirty.  I just have to look through that and see what I could make of the home in time.  I know it will not be easy to give up my lovely home but I have accepted it is too big and not in the right place.  

Thank you for this it’s very helpful. I’m so surprised that it’s not just us, I thought we just had the worst luck or were really stupid

Sim1N

Skiddaw1 said:

OP, I don't know whether any of your dear cats are rescue cats but it might help to think of your new house as being a bit like a poor, neglected, cat who is desperately looking for a forever home. You and your partner are the lovely people who have adopted the poor house. Just like taking on a rescue cat there'll be challenges and obstacles along the way but you'll have the pleasure and satisfaction of seeing the house become the bright, happy, confident, beautiful house it should always have been (and it'll be all due to you ).

Good luck!

Aww that’s such a nice way to put it thank you ☺️ 

boxer234

I sold my first house, got divorced and spent two years searching for the perfect place in the countryside.  I bought a 200 year old cottage which needed a lot of work.  I got the keys and had what I can only describe as a three month meltdown.  I hated the place.  It is full of cracks (flagged up in the survey but convinced myself it was subsidence and the house would fall down at any minute).  Within 2 months the roof leaked (pouring in during a storm) got ripped off getting it fixed, boiler broke (found a lovely plumber) carbon monoxide alarm went off no one could find out why (gas board came out) and I slipped down the stairs (uncarpeted) and cracked my back.  Looking back I was over whelmed and it’s a big project (still is). Two years on it still needs loads of work but is home, I live in the beautiful countryside, the house hasn’t subsided and slid down the hill, roof is no longer leaky and I’ve not been gassed in my sleep.  It’s possible with hindsight I should have got something already done but that’s a lesson for next time.

Martico

It's totally natural to feel deflated / overwhelmed when first confronted with a house in need of so much. But, as others have said, if you make a list of small tasks to do, perhaps with a concentrated focus on one room above others - whatever works for you - and keep chipping away with small attainable goals. You'll both get there and feel a strong sense of ownership once you have, in the knowledge that you've contributed to and become intimately acquainted with every square centimetre of your house.

pseudodox

Ignore those snidey family members.  You are going to make a home to be proud of, not an asset to rub other noses in.  It might not be your forever home, but it is a great opportunity to practice stamping your own personality on a place after years of renting.  Would you have been happier moving in to someone else's choice of decor & fittings or do you relish the prospect that you can get rid of all the nasties & make it personal.  But beware!  Once you have done up a house you will maybe look at a future move with eyes that say "hmm,  this not our taste but location, layout etc is great & we know we can create something that is very us."

Sim1N

boxer234 said:

I sold my first house, got divorced and spent two years searching for the perfect place in the countryside.  I bought a 200 year old cottage which needed a lot of work.  I got the keys and had what I can only describe as a three month meltdown.  I hated the place.  It is full of cracks (flagged up in the survey but convinced myself it was subsidence and the house would fall down at any minute).  Within 2 months the roof leaked (pouring in during a storm) got ripped off getting it fixed, boiler broke (found a lovely plumber) carbon monoxide alarm went off no one could find out why (gas board came out) and I slipped down the stairs (uncarpeted) and cracked my back.  Looking back I was over whelmed and it’s a big project (still is). Two years on it still needs loads of work but is home, I live in the beautiful countryside, the house hasn’t subsided and slid down the hill, roof is no longer leaky and I’ve not been gassed in my sleep.  It’s possible with hindsight I should have got something already done but that’s a lesson for next time.

Gosh I am sorry to hear that, just a string of bad luck there! I totally get what you mean about the fears. I feel like surveys are just to purposefully scare people! Yes it’s all learning curves isn’t it