Regret buying house or just irrational thinking?

Sim1N

RHemmings said:

Sim1N said:

I really appreciate everyone’s comment it’s made me feel less alone. I’m quite tearful that people have taken their time to read and respond to me.

We are fortunate that we have decent paid jobs (we are not wealthy or privileged in any sense, just normal working class backgrounds) most people wouldn’t be able to buy a 3 bed semi for their first house specially in the current financial climate. I think something that is niggling at us is that if we had spent £40k-£50k more we would have had a house we could have just moved straight in to. But the location might not have been as good. We could have borrowed a lot more affordability wise than we have (we’ve borrowed around £120k less than the mortgage providers were offering!) and decided not to as we didn’t want sky high repayments and no free money to do enjoyable things to have that balance, so I would like to think we have been sensible in our borrowing. But there’s just that thought in our heads of “we could have spent more and not had the hassle”

Remember that if you borrow £40-50k more, then the amount you pay in total is increased by more than £40-50k. Depending on other numbers defining your mortgage, the potentially hundreds of pounds extra per month on the mortgage would pay for a lot of cleaning, or a professional tradesperson per month. (I'm not saying that a cleaner isn't a tradesperson, but they cost a lot less than plumbers and electricians, which is why I split the classification.) 

Yes you are right, cos it ends up being a lot more than that with the interest over the mortgage term. Never thought to think of it like that

LHW99

Don't let yourselves get too depressed. Our first house was a one / two bed semi (depending on whether you neded two living rooms or not). The front window had half the frame missing when we moved in, because the previous owners had left an electric fire on that had caught bedclothes alight, so they had gone through the winow to rescue their cat. Then when my OH went to open the windows at the back, half fell out into the garden as it had no hinges. There was a leak in the roof between the bathroom and separate toilet, and the switches either end of the living room would turn the lights on at either end, but only turn them off at the end you started with.

You will live out on the stories you will be able to tell about your house for many years, and in the end you will have a big smile on your faces when you tell them, because - you sorted it!

ian1246

Take a deeper breathe. Pick a room. Clean it between the 2 of you - include ripping up dirty carpets if needs be. Chill for the rest of the day. Rinse & repeat.

You'll be surprised how managing everything in bite Size chunks really adds up quickly.

A lot of your worries are probably just nerves - walls can be polly filled and painted for £20-£30 easily.

Need new carpets & have a decent chunk of disposable income after bills? Carpetright & other similar retailers often have interest free deals on - if your worried about depleting your capital, utilise interest free if needs be - as long as you can comfortably afford the payments. Same can apply for Kitchen/bathroom. Once you've got the house livable and you still have spare capital, payback the interest free early.

It sounds like you have brought what can be a cracking home - especially if the fundamentals (I.e. New 2023 boiler!!) are already done for you.

Abbafan1972

@Sim1N Congrats on buying your home!  You will get there eventually and it’s totally normal to feel this way. We have been in our house for 30 years next year. Although we will be moving from here as soon as we are financially able to. 

I echo what the person said about pust button flushes on the toilet - we would not have one of these again. When we get the bathroom renovated again, we will insist on going back to an old fashioned lever flush. Our push button one is always breaking. 

In our house when we first started decorating - we found holes in the wall filled in with newspaper. Also, after being in the house for the first couple of days, we discovered the reason why the vendors had left plug in air fresheners everywhere. 

Xx

SensibleSarah

I think it's totally natural to feel totally overwhelmed when buying a project house. Mine was a project when I bought it in 2010 and it's still a project now as I had to move in the same week I got the keys (was renting and couldn't afford both rent and mortgage even for a few weeks) and I had absolutely no money to do the work that was needed, let alone knowledge. But it was either the worst house on the best street I could afford, or buying a house in better condiion but living in really high crime rate area. I walked into the house and it smelled horrible, was full of the former homeowner's furniture and personal items (she'd passed away and it was a probate house) and it was disgustingly dirty. Definitely in a much worse state than it had been when I've viewed it six months prior. I also had cats to move in and had to spend a whole day picking pins out of the carpet of the former resident's 'sewing room' before I could let them in. I bought on my own and was unprepared for the mental toll of that tbh. I was used to living alone, but living alone in a rental was very different to my own, very run down, home. 

Fast forward nearly 14 years (I never thought I'd stay this long, but life happens) and there is still a list of projects as long as my arm, as money has been tight over the years, and I can't move out while work is done so I've avoided the major stuff. But the pandemic showed me how grateful I am for the secure (as much as any home with a mortgage can be) roof over my head, even if it still rocks the granny look in many places. 

You don't have to do everything at once. The sense of achievement when you finish a small project is great and while finding good tradespeople can be tough, going off word of mouth is definitely the way forward. Ask your neighbours if they know of any trustworthy plumbers etc.

pjs493

Some really helpful and useful comments here and I hope you feel better after reading them. 

As others have said. I think it might help if you spent a little money for professional cleaners to go in. For a 3 bed semi, you might be looking at somewhere in the region of £350 for a deep clean, more if they professionally clean the carpets (rather than just vacuuming). Cleaning is definitely something you can do yourself, but for your anxiety it will likely be a worthwhile investment to pay someone else to do it. You’ll likely look at the house a different way once it’s clean and feel it’s a bit more manageable. 

I’ve just bought myself a period property that while habitable, needs a lot of work doing to it and realistically needs a new kitchen and two new bathrooms as well as some re plastering and every room needs decorating. It could do with a full rewire and a new boiler, etc too. 

I plan to do the kitchen first even though it’s the biggest job, but I figured it’s best to get the ball rolling on that first so that I’m not living out of a a fridge in the dining room for long (the kitchen doesn’t have space for my American fridge freezer, dishwasher, or tumble dryer due to how the units are laid out). 

I also plan to do the rewire before I move in and replace the boiler. It’s over 20 years old and currently works, but I’m a widow with two small children and I don’t like to take the risk of having no heating in winter if it decides it’s going to stop working. 

However, there are smaller projects to do and it might help in your case if you focus on these. Take one room at a time and even if you need to spend money elsewhere straight away, it doesn’t stop you making a mood board for each room and collecting wallpaper, paint, and flooring samples to consider your options. This might lift your spirits a little. 

Pumpkinwaffle

@Sim1N if you're still around do you mind me asking how you feel now a few months on?

I completed on a sale on Friday and when I walked in the house all of the excitement drained from me and I was filled with regret. I've spent the last 3 days trying (and failing) to control my anxiety over what I've purchased. 100+ years old and previous owners didn't give it much love during their time there. If I could reverse the sake I would do it in a heartbeat.

Would love to know how you are feeling now and what you've done since buying the house (if anything) x

elsien

Pumpkinwaffle said:

@Sim1N if you're still around do you mind me asking how you feel now a few months on?

I completed on a sale on Friday and when I walked in the house all of the excitement drained from me and I was filled with regret. I've spent the last 3 days trying (and failing) to control my anxiety over what I've purchased. 100+ years old and previous owners didn't give it much love during their time there. If I could reverse the sake I would do it in a heartbeat.

Would love to know how you are feeling now and what you've done since buying the house (if anything) x

The OP hasn't logged back in since 14th July.  They may still be reading but they won't get any notifications of replies to their post unfortunately.

I am sorry you feel as you do. It has to  be about giving it time though and when you are ready to do so making a one step at a time plan to address any issues.  It's a huge financial commitment and I suspect more people feel anxious following the purchase than  tend to admit. 
If you want to start your own thread with any concerns, people might be able to help you see it may not be as bad as it feels right now? 

Pumpkinwaffle

elsien said:

Pumpkinwaffle said:

@Sim1N if you're still around do you mind me asking how you feel now a few months on?

I completed on a sale on Friday and when I walked in the house all of the excitement drained from me and I was filled with regret. I've spent the last 3 days trying (and failing) to control my anxiety over what I've purchased. 100+ years old and previous owners didn't give it much love during their time there. If I could reverse the sake I would do it in a heartbeat.

Would love to know how you are feeling now and what you've done since buying the house (if anything) x

The OP hasn't logged back in since 14th July.  They may still be reading but they won't get any notifications of replies to their post unfortunately.

I am sorry you feel as you do. It has to  be about giving it time though and when you are ready to do so making a one step at a time plan to address any issues.  It's a huge financial commitment and I suspect more people feel anxious following the purchase than  tend to admit. 
If you want to start your own thread with any concerns, people might be able to help you see it may not be as bad as it feels right now? 

Thanks for your kind words. All of the replies in this thread helped somewhat. Other than someone offering me to buy me out for what I paid I don't think there's much more I need to hear. I'm trying to get quotes over the next few weeks for all that needs doing in the hope that will help me plan what to do going forwards. 

whatsreallygoingon

Discovered this thread.. because I'm in the same situation myself.

Had the keys for just over three weeks and, as a FTB, wondering what I've done - noticing a number of things that weren't clocked during views/survey - I think primarily because the whole place was re-plastered last summer and now the cracks (literally and figurally) are starting to show.

Hoping it's nothing major, but also really questioning myself.

I too have a flat concurrently running until late March so I can use the time to try get things to where they need to be before I fully move in, but it's not a nice feeling