Does your child help pay the rent?

mrmojo27

Couldnt find where to put this question so apologies if its in the wrong place!
Basically I rent (private) and live with my wife, 2 children (8 and 10) and stepson who is 23 and refuses to move until his is 30.  He says he cant afford it but happily goes out every night and has bought himself a very nice £20000 grand car!  We live in whats officially classed as a 3 bedroom house but the third bedroom occupied by the step son is small.
Question is, do others get their adult children paying rent and if so how much?  do they ask for a third of everything?  token gesture? 
Bear in mind, he works full time and as ive said is quite happy to buy a car, have a gym membership, 50 quid phone bill, meals out virtually every night, 2 or 3 holidays a year. 

ecraig

Wow. He’s had an easy life so far. I paid rent the moment I got a full time job. It was never much for my small room but roughly 25% of my salary. 

Rodders53

Yes of course he must contribute towards the household expenses.

My parents actually took very little off me back in the 70s when I started earning full time (as opposed to holiday jobs)... despite having funded me through Uni and doing the same for my kid brother... it would never have occurred to me not to pay towards the rent, heating and food. 
I even offered to pay for/towards a Colour TV rental and Licence to replace the Black and White one (they refused my money as it happens).

One third would be you taking the though... one fifth max.  

But it's his MUM who needs to have the conversation with him (after you have had the discussion with her) - unless you've been Stepdad for most of his lifetime.

Myci85

My son just turned 18, and is starting an apprenticeship in June. He obviously won't be earning lots yet, but even so I will be expecting a contribution towards bills/living costs once he is earning. If he was earning full time wages and living with me, I think I'd be inclined to stipulate he either contributes more, or pays a monthly amount into a savings account to start building up a pot of money to help once he moves out. 

akh43

Only 2 of us and no rent/mortgage, but I add up the yearly outgoings, minus things he does not use ie my car costs, and then I divide by 2 and he pays roughly half, he also buys some of his own food.  Its not a huge amount he pays, but he pays his fair share of the bills.

njkmr

He will never move out with this set up.!
He needs to contribute to household budget.
We never took anything of our two until they finished apprenticeship and Uni.
Daughter now has own house and son still at home.
We do put half of what he contributes into savings account, which we will give him when he moves out but he doesn't know that.

DullGreyGuy

Kids rent is a common question on here, if you search you will find many views on the matter. 

Have a look on SpareRoom or such, assuming you live in a decent sized city, and see how much a room inc bills will cost and charge him something similar. If you decide to save it up and gift it back to him when he buys a house or just use it to run the home etc is up to you. 

I got charged a percentage of my income from the age of 16 to moving out at 19 and found that method deeply unfair as dont see why my rent went up when I did overtime etc. 

LeafGreen

I don't have kids but I remember giving my mum housekeeping money as soon as I was working at 16.  I probably wasn't happy about it at the time but was an important life lesson.  I'm sure that was mum's intention rather than the money itself (a relatively small amount).

silvercar

mrmojo27 said:

Couldnt find where to put this question so apologies if its in the wrong place!
Basically I rent (private) and live with my wife, 2 children (8 and 10) and stepson who is 23 and refuses to move until his is 30.  He says he cant afford it but happily goes out every night and has bought himself a very nice £20000 grand car!  We live in whats officially classed as a 3 bedroom house but the third bedroom occupied by the step son is small.
Question is, do others get their adult children paying rent and if so how much?  do they ask for a third of everything?  token gesture? 
Bear in mind, he works full time and as ive said is quite happy to buy a car, have a gym membership, 50 quid phone bill, meals out virtually every night, 2 or 3 holidays a year. 

A third of everything, in a house where he has the smallest room and there are 5 people living is beyond cheeky!

Also, the "everything" that you would like a share of is in some ways a total because of choices you have made eg an older property that needs a lot of heating etc

I never asked my kids to make a contribution as I don't think that children suddenly becoming adults mean that you immediately break all financial support - others may have different views. Although your step son doesn't seem to fall into this category, a lot of adults are saving up to move out, by taking money off them you are working against this goal.

Torry_Quine

Of course he should be contributing. It's been far too easy for him so far. As soon as I started working at 17 I gave board to my parents. I gave the traditional ⅓ of my wage. 

Albermarle

Did not charge when at Uni etc, but now she has been working a while, then we charge a figure of £325 per month + a couple of medium sized supermarket shops.
This is half of what she was paying ( with bills) when she had a shared house in a cheaper part of the country, so she is happy with that and insisted on contributing anyway. Probably helps that she has her own large room, with en suite, which is quiet and private.

Otherwise sounds like the stepson needs a bit of MSE direction on budgeting ( or cooking !)