Redemption - The journey of a recovering gambling addict.

~FlowerPot~

Lonelygambler

•  Finding it harder and harder to completely have NSD every day. Finding myself pretty miserable.

It will take time to clear the debt, i think you should plan a few small treats / trips out. So you have something to look forward to, a little bit of fun. Otherwise, like you say it gets miserable.
You really are doing so well. 
Saving lots of money, closing cards AND most importantly nearly 3 months since you last gambled, well done!
Would it help to see the debt in a chat where you can tick off the debt in chunks and see it reduce, it can help with the motivation going

Flowers x

KeepOnKnitting

I'm with Flowerpot, you need to work out what will give you joy and spend in this direction. It doesn't sound like you and your family are in debt crisis, so being miserable isn't necessary. Spending on gambling hasn't made you happy, because it has led you to where you were when you decided to stop. Decide what you want to spend your time on and let the money align with that. Time is far more precious, you never get more of it.

alt80

@Lonelygambler good to hear it's all on 0%. If you think the 0% will run out before you have paid the balances, keep the ones with the regular offers open with the view of a future transfer.

@~FlowerPot~ and @KeepOnKnitting are both 100% right, you need to work out what is a sustainable budget including a little for living for you relative to your income and fixed expenses. I get wanting to clear your balances as quickly as possible - I've been there, I'm on here because I used to spend like a madman and so did my wife. For quite some time I denied myself anything - please don't torture yourself in this way. It'll potentially lead back to relapse, misery or resentment - none help you or your family.

We all do things in life that demonstrates poor judgement and can lead to further consequences. We all have less than desirable traits and habits too, every single one of us. Until very, very recently I hated myself, always had struggled with not liking who I am, but I truly hated myself and considered myself utterly worthless. It wasn't helping me or my family. I have always tried to do the right thing by my staff and tenants, since being in recovery I have put my wife and son above all, as it should be and I give a little to causes close to my heart - just as we all have bad traits and habits, we also have good ones. You need to recognise and celebrate yours - in a way that is not just about stroking your own ego. From what I have read on here, you are doing a great job with your children. I wholeheartedly wish I was at this stage when my boy was your children's ages - what I'm trying to say is you cannot get time back and you cannot take away what has happened but the second best time to start and move forward is today. Keep on the path.

Lonelygambler

Friday Update 

Spent around £27 on food, office cakes and drinks for the week. 

Another CBT session which was useful. 

11 Weeks free without gambling. Easily saved over £3000 not gambling. That’s a W. 

Food Shopping has been a bit more expensive and an over spend of £15 a week, not the end of the world but got to look at this. 

Hopefully the Tesco delivery saver will save me £20 a month. 

LG

Lonelygambler

alt80 said:

@Lonelygambler good to hear it's all on 0%. If you think the 0% will run out before you have paid the balances, keep the ones with the regular offers open with the view of a future transfer.

@~FlowerPot~ and @KeepOnKnitting are both 100% right, you need to work out what is a sustainable budget including a little for living for you relative to your income and fixed expenses. I get wanting to clear your balances as quickly as possible - I've been there, I'm on here because I used to spend like a madman and so did my wife. For quite some time I denied myself anything - please don't torture yourself in this way. It'll potentially lead back to relapse, misery or resentment - none help you or your family.

We all do things in life that demonstrates poor judgement and can lead to further consequences. We all have less than desirable traits and habits too, every single one of us. Until very, very recently I hated myself, always had struggled with not liking who I am, but I truly hated myself and considered myself utterly worthless. It wasn't helping me or my family. I have always tried to do the right thing by my staff and tenants, since being in recovery I have put my wife and son above all, as it should be and I give a little to causes close to my heart - just as we all have bad traits and habits, we also have good ones. You need to recognise and celebrate yours - in a way that is not just about stroking your own ego. From what I have read on here, you are doing a great job with your children. I wholeheartedly wish I was at this stage when my boy was your children's ages - what I'm trying to say is you cannot get time back and you cannot take away what has happened but the second best time to start and move forward is today. Keep on the path.

Time is the most important commodity we have right? 

Thank you for the honesty. 

LG

FacelessNumber

Glad you're finding the CBT useful, and I think you need to pay yourself on the back for quitting gambling, it's a huge achievement!

Hope you're managing to find the balance between paying debt and family time.

Have a good weekend!

Lonelygambler

Monday check in. 

Spent £30 on the weekend for a meal out in the sunshine. I have no spending money until pay day on the 24th. 

I do have money £600 but wanting to put all of it to debt. 

Went for a long walk with the wife tonight which was nice for us both. Been together coming to 20 years now, and I explained how the CBT was working and how I am looking at therapy to go deeper into my mind. 

Food shopping has been a bit pricy for May an overspend of £50 so £12.5 per week. 

Closing down my final Amex at the end of month and now only have a few cards left to go. 

LG 

FacelessNumber

10 days with no spending is quite a long time, don't beat yourself up if you use some of that £600, you mentioned feeling a bit fed up moneysaving stuff not so long ago so don't restrict too much!

Food shopping is my constant battle to keep to budget, so I feel your pain! 

Sounds like you and your wife had some nice quality time together, that's so important. 

blubella

Keep going, you are doing great with getting the number of credit cards down.

Lonelygambler

Update 

11 Weeks without a gamble ✅ 
Final session of CBT ✅ 
Signed up to Gamfam and have a peer to peer mentor meeting booked in. ✅ 

Paid £400 extra towards debt ✅ 
Had an unexpected £100 bill arrive but had money in reserves to cover it. ✅ 

I have spent money this week around £25. Not feeling as guilty about it now.

Closing my Amex in June just waiting for a £100 cashback. 

Hopefully everyone has a good weekend.