Redemption - The journey of a recovering gambling addict.

alt80

Few things:
"I am current juggling a pretty full on leadership role and parent of two toddlers. I have a full home gym and peloton. Going to the gym is just not a good use of time."
If the home gym works for you then, that's great. You could possibly either look to work with an online PT or possibly with your Mrs? Idk just a couple of ideas for that accountability piece. Home gym can be a lonely place when it's just you. Regarding the kids I think you're doing great with them from what you've written on here. I've got a 10 year old son and when he was the age your kids are I had nothing to do with him, not something I'm at all proud of and something I now have to live with and have a lot of regrets about. You (and your Mrs) being there for them is all they need right now.

"The gambling is linked with spending money. I spent £20 this weekend, and I wanted to win it back. That's the trigger. It's so strange because I am budgeting for £50 a weekend for spending. 

I have such a warped sense of spending money at the moment."
Yeah, that's warped mate. I assume you've brought this up with the pros, if not, do.

"Finally I signed my eldest to a multi sport toddler camp every Saturday - £29 a month - Is this a luxury, yes should I be spending this on debt. No - not this money." 
I wouldn't call that a "luxury". 

"Wife has been a bit more human with me this week, so thats a good sign."
Great stuff, keep on working on your marriage together. Worth her seeing the pros too.

Florafauna

@lonelygambler the implant I had was at the back and couldn't be seen when smiling. I just hated knowing it was missing and the way it affected my bite. For me, money well spent

CRANKY40

The reality of "wanting to win it back" is that you won't though. You may short term, but long term you will lose. It will also get you divorced by the sound of it so not doing it is the biggest win ever. You get to stay with your wife and kids. Keep at it, you're doing really well. 

Lonelygambler

Been a bit anxious as I had my first night of therapy tonight. 

I broke down afterwards. 

Nearly two months gamble free. 

LG. 

alt80

Stick with it mate, it's !!!!!! hard but it really can help in the long run.

ChampagneSupernova36

Keep it up , everyday is a step in the right direction even though it’s bloody hard. I’ve had a bad tooth as well this week , always seems to come at the worst possible time! Therapy is painful at times but I always find things sometimes felt worse before they felt better . Sending positive vibes xxx

Florafauna

Therapy can feel like this but it's about clearing out the sadness and negativity. Be gentle with yourself and well done to you. You are clearing the fear out of your life and you are able to do this. We're a bunch of strangers on tinternet but we all have your back

Lonelygambler

So last night was quite heavy. I’m very grateful for the position I am in. 

No money updates. Nice and boring during the week! 

Have a good day. I will reply to all comments this evening. 

LG 

Lonelygambler

Check in. 

A few NSD’s. Bought cakes and biscuits for my team so around £15 for the week. 

No gambling, 9 weeks now. 

Hopefully can continue with the budget and frugal lifestyle and clear another £600 debt. 

Happy Bank Holiday 

Lonelygambler

alt80 said:

Stick with it mate, it's !!!!!! hard but it really can help in the long run.

Thank you. It was a tough first meeting for me. 

Helpful to look at the behaviours morning forward and how to reflect on the triggers.