Redemption - The journey of a recovering gambling addict.

Lonelygambler

Weekend Update 

This is mainly for gambling, FA Cup weekends would normally result in big bets. 

No bets this weekend. 

Felt pretty crap yesterday as all my friends met up for a big day out. I just can’t justify it at the moment. 

Relationship with my wife is so so. Children thankfully are amazing so that’s good. 

Looks like I’ve managed the weekend with only spending limited money so more to debt. 

LG 

alt80

It's great to see you're still doing well mate. 

Can't believe how cheap your car is to insure, I wouldn't complain about that. As it happens we have an MG too, it just celebrated its 60th birthday though. Could work for you to have a savings goal towards another Merc - something for you to look forward to as a reward for getting debt free, perhaps. 

enthusiasticsaver

Well done on no bets. 

Lonelygambler

So midweek update, 

I’ve been journaling a lot to support my mental
health. Just noting my feelings and how close to gambling I am. 

I’m now happy to say out loud I am a compulsive gambler during meetings. This may not sound a big step however to me it’s massive. 

Really pleased with myself with non gambling. 

Spending wise I have slipped slightly by spending a few ££ on snacks and treats. Nothing massive or more than a £5 but I have been. 

Sorted my windscreen out £75 that I’m not seeing again! 

Now putting a £100 contingency fund together for the house side of things, which does mean less to debt initially but a better sense of control if things pop up. 

Having my hair cut today as a treat £25 which I know is expensive however when it’s been two months I think that’s not too bad value. 

Looking forward to seeing my NatWest CC under a £1000 very soon. 

LG 

Lonelygambler

alt80 said:

It's great to see you're still doing well mate. 

Can't believe how cheap your car is to insure, I wouldn't complain about that. As it happens we have an MG too, it just celebrated its 60th birthday though. Could work for you to have a savings goal towards another Merc - something for you to look forward to as a reward for getting debt free, perhaps. 

Midget? 

We have one in the family. Looking forward to taking my boys out in it when they are bit bigger. 

Lonelygambler

enthusiasticsaver said:

Well done on no bets. 

Thank you. 

My mind is definitely a lot clearer! 

Lonelygambler

Update 

Still no gambling. Been a rough week and I had plenty of urges. Thankfully I did not act and went through some of my CBT practices. 

Moneywise has been a bit spendy on food / snacks. Nothing massive but just a few ££ each day. 

Bring on the week ahead. 

LG

alt80

@Lonelygambler No, the car is an MGB GT. Your boys will love it when they're a bit older. My son loves ours.

Firstly, you're doing great, well done - some weeks will certainly be harder than others.

Few points (addiction)

I started journalling when I had treatment for the first time, was patchy until I went again but since then it has become a part of my life and something that does help keep me on the right path. It sounds like it is working for you too, keep it up. 

Saying it out loud is a massive step so long as it wasn't flippant - not suggesting it was, fwiw I think you are ready to make a commitment to your recovery. Unfortunately, I chose to make being an addict an excuse after my first lot of treatment. I'm apparently not the only one who has according to the pros. Suppose I'm saying keep an eye on yourself, use your tools and your support network. You have fought through the cravings this week so are already demonstrating that you are using the tools at your disposal.

Few points (finances)

What are you building the contingency for? Have you specific expenses/ maintenance that you've got planned? Have you got a PPM(&I) plan for your home? - just some food for thought, is £100pcm enough / too little / too much etc. 

You don't need to justify basic personal care like a haircut once a month. I've been there, trying not to spend any money whatsoever on myself and it's !!!!!! grim. You've earned your money and imo the right to look after yourself without guilt.

KeepOnKnitting

@alt80 is correct, some people definitely take on the "addict" label too well and go on a journey of switching one harmful coping mechanism for another. Being honest with yourself has value, but don't forget that thing about all the cells in your body renewing every 7 years. You'll be a whole new person then. 

Well done on getting through a tough week. You are learning what works for you. This is what recovery is, hard work. You are doing it, give yourself a pat on the back.

Lonelygambler

It’s been an incredibly busy week at work and my youngest has been unwell so max 3 hours sleep all week. Tough week in that respect and wasn’t able to attend my therapy this week. 

However still no gambling which I’m over the moon with and the urges have really slowed down. 

Money wise is ticking over car insurance is coming out at £45 for full cover, extras etc for MG ZS EV so will sort that out. 

I’ve upped our food bill slightly as I’ve started making proper lunches for myself and we have £100 a month contingency and Amazon is due this month so that’s £100 I think! 😂. 

Wife is in Nice all weekend with friends so that’s good for her. I have my children solo for the next couple of days. 

LG