Redemption - The journey of a recovering gambling addict.

Lonelygambler

KeepOnKnitting said:

@alt80 is correct, some people definitely take on the "addict" label too well and go on a journey of switching one harmful coping mechanism for another. Being honest with yourself has value, but don't forget that thing about all the cells in your body renewing every 7 years. You'll be a whole new person then. 

Well done on getting through a tough week. You are learning what works for you. This is what recovery is, hard work. You are doing it, give yourself a pat on the back.

Thank you for your feedback appreciate it. 

Regarding my addiction I am taking that one day at a time. 

Lonelygambler

alt80 said:

@Lonelygambler No, the car is an MGB GT. Your boys will love it when they're a bit older. My son loves ours.

Firstly, you're doing great, well done - some weeks will certainly be harder than others.

Few points (addiction)

I started journalling when I had treatment for the first time, was patchy until I went again but since then it has become a part of my life and something that does help keep me on the right path. It sounds like it is working for you too, keep it up. 

Saying it out loud is a massive step so long as it wasn't flippant - not suggesting it was, fwiw I think you are ready to make a commitment to your recovery. Unfortunately, I chose to make being an addict an excuse after my first lot of treatment. I'm apparently not the only one who has according to the pros. Suppose I'm saying keep an eye on yourself, use your tools and your support network. You have fought through the cravings this week so are already demonstrating that you are using the tools at your disposal.

Few points (finances)

What are you building the contingency for? Have you specific expenses/ maintenance that you've got planned? Have you got a PPM(&I) plan for your home? - just some food for thought, is £100pcm enough / too little / too much etc. 

You don't need to justify basic personal care like a haircut once a month. I've been there, trying not to spend any money whatsoever on myself and it's !!!!!! grim. You've earned your money and imo the right to look after yourself without guilt.

£100 is a good buffer atm and one we will stick to. 

Thanks, I have spent a few ££ on myself recently mainly just food and drinks! It’s where all my money goes apart from children. 

Hope you’re ok and thanks for checking in. 

Lonelygambler

A reminder to anyone who cares to read this:

Gambling kills. 

Gambling ends relationships.

Talk to someone if you need help. 

I have, and I'm getting help for this illness - don't suffer alone. 

FacelessNumber

You're doing an excellent job not gambling! Hope you've had a nice weekend with the kids.

Lonelygambler

I have decided to start tracking everything I spend on a spreadsheet. 

This should be interesting, I've never looked really at the types of things just have spent my fun money and moved on. I am now going to look in more detail over the next few months to really look at where my 'fun' money is going! 

alt80

Good to see you are doing well apart from the sleep. I'm an insomniac at the best of times, a lack of sleep affects everything and the urges quietening over this week despite the lack of sleep is brilliant. 

Good to hear you are choosing not to deprive yourself of some treats. We looked at (and still look at) every spend we make - you'll be amazed the first few months you track every spend.

FacelessNumber

Hope all is going well, thought I'd check in as you haven't posted for a while!

~FlowerPot~

Just wondering how you are doing? It's been a while. I have everything crossed it's still going well
Flowers x

Lonelygambler

Evening to those who check in. 

I have been keeping myself busy at work, and enjoying reading in the evenings. I have tried to spend less time on my devices which means I have not been checking in. 

For the past month I have felt so much better in my headspace. Previously I have been so 'foggy, tired, irritable and very short with my children due to my gambling addiction. 

The good news I will be four months without a gamble next week and I continue to pay money off towards my debt. I have neglected this site, so I am planning on at least once a week update. 

In terms of a few updates my wife and kids went on holiday with their grandparents and they had a great time, I would have found that hard not to bet but I have not placed any bets. 

Money wise is ok, I have tracked my personal spend this month and I have found it interesting for what I spend my disposable income on. I look forward to seeing a three month trend, I have found it refreshing every day to update my googlesheet and see the graphs change with the spends. 

Debt wise - Plugging along I have managed £400 additional towards debt this month but had a few unexpected costs such as new windscreen and a roof box for our cars which made a big difference for my wife and we will use it when traveling to Ireland in the summer. 

Gambling therapy is going well and I continue to attend every Wednesday evening for a few hours. 

LG

Lonelygambler

FacelessNumber said:

Hope all is going well, thought I'd check in as you haven't posted for a while!

Thank you for your message. 

Yes all ok, just been mega busy with family, work and trying to keep my self of my phone in the evenings..