Cheery's path to fulfilment - finishing the DIY, looking after myself, appreciating the garden 🌻

Cheery_Daff

Evening all 😊

What glorious weather we've had this weekend! 😊😊

I went to visit family yesterday, people I've not seen for several months. Some health issues but otherwise a nice day and not home too late. 

Today Mr C and I have been on a little adventure to a town we've only been to once. I had a nice time with a little running event, he had quite a boring time apparently as most things were shut. But we did get chance for a cuppa with some friends who were cycling not too far from our house, so that was lovely (although the kiosk we met at was extortionate priced - if there had been an alternative and I hadn't just stood in the queue for 20 minutes I would have flat out refused when she asked for £36 for 4 drinks and snacks 😱😱😱😱😱

But I had stood in a queue, and we were all quite cold and in need of sustenance, and I could have properly added up beforehand (there wasn't much left so I was just taking what was available rather than what we wanted).

Anyway, done now. 

Ordered a tablet to replace the one we dropped a few weeks back. Second hand, from the bay of E. It asked for a pin number 😮 so I contacted the seller who, to his credit, got back straight away with a phone number - he'd forgotten to do a factory reset 😬 Gave me his pin, and of course it was all logged in to his accounts 😱 we stayed on the phone and had a nice chat while we went through the factory reset together, and I think we're now both going to spend the evening changing passwords just in case 😂😂

Hopefully the rest of the evening will be uneventful, although I can hear Mr C talking loudly to his dad on the phone so perhaps not... 😬

Oh, and I got brave enough to open the house insurance renewal - £735 last year, £938 this year 😱😱 the car was similar - about £650 last year and £835 this year 😱 I let that renew because we were at Mr C Snr's house, but I'll check the house insurance tomorrow. Yawn. But honestly, almost £1000 a year?! I know we're not exactly a tiny newbuild, but even so 😮😮

Anyway, laptop is nicely set up and I've written a blog post, tablet is set up and has no evidence of being signed into anyone else's accounts and I think it's about time for some tea, don't you??

Cheery_Daff

Mr C's conversation with his dad was quite depressing, so we ended up nipping to the pub for tea 😬 Not a good habit but it's the local w3thers00ns so at least cheap - under £15 for food and drinks (including tea and biscuits). We do rather medicate with cafe trips etc when the going gets tough (Mr C especially) - it becomes a sanity spend and we are lucky that it's not at the expense of bills etc,  but we do rather need to reign it in somewhat in my opinion...

Anyway, we sat and went through banks and receipts etc while we were there, working out his dad owed us approx £1700 for the stuff we've paid for for his house. His dad is insisting on giving this, we're not being mean and robbing an old man! We're paying for the extra care home stay ourselves, and he's also not paying for any of the diesel, food, hotel bills, presents for sleeping on friends floors, our own food while working, or of course any of our labour, so he's getting a good deal really, he's just reimbursing materials etc. 

It's been an expensive do all round. And he still has no house insurance - I've mentioned it several times, but like with power of attorney, I suspect I will be roundly ignored by all parties (until it's too late).

Hey ho, only so much you can do with in laws 🙄 I will control what I can, which is mostly my own spending, and my temper (and not even those things sometimes...) 🙄😂

Anyway, I am off work tomorrow 😊 In this evenings money shenanigans I've transferred accumulations from a finished regular saver, but I do need to stop various unnecessary standing orders relating to other ones.

Main jobs for tomorrow
- house insurance
-batch cooking
-washing

😊

Greying_Pilgrim

Oh Cheery - I feel your pain with the house shenanigans.  No one on this forum would think that you were accepting anything other than what MrC snr is insisting on refunding to you - and whilst £1700 is no small amount, as you say, does just cover the materials - and prices have absolutely gone up. If trades had undertaken the work, the price would have been what? Quadruple?  Easily. 

If it's any help when we were in a similar position with my parents the 'additional' costs were never even considered, and yet we were always expected to drop everything and run/drive to help (I'm not an only child).  That period, (we were renting), very nearly sunk us, financially.  The petrol/travel costs, the time, the cancelled trips/holidays, the 'cheat meals', the hospital parking etc etc do all add up.  

And whilst I accept that folk will say 'but it's family, you do anything for family', that doesn't change the monetary costs associated with caring, in addition to the emotional costs.  

Look after you Cheery.

Greying X

KajiKita

That sounds like a hard slog of an evening with that hanging over you. I hear you on the self medicating with cafe trips. Is there anything else that would lift Mr C at times like this, like a really good music session or a long walk? I do think you could try one last time on Mr C Senior about the house insurance and be pretty blunt - to the effect of next time something like this happens you could be away / out of the country, ill yourselves, and who would deal with it then, without insurance? 

Good luck with the house insurance. That renewal quote was horrid! 

KK

Staffordia

I hear you on the POA, it's taken my wife over two years to persuade her mother who lives with us that's it's a necessary thing.

We finally managed to persuade her to see a solicitor this week. I know it would have been cheaper to do it ourselves but she needed to have it spelt out by an outsider that putting this in place didn't mean my wife would drain her bank accounts. 

Cheery_Daff

Thank you @Greying_Pilgrim and I'm sorry your experience was so draining too  xx we are very fortunate that this won't sink us, and that Mr C especially can be pretty flexible when it comes to timings.  It would of course help to live closer - but equally we are lucky that it's doable in a day (a long day, but still). Could be a lot worse. 

Thanks @KajiKita he does very much want to be out of the house often at times like this. Walking helps - but it has to be town walks not rural walks (ridiculous given where we live!) We do walk round the park a lot, and are often found tramping around the back streets of various market towns 😂 The pub is actually a pretty good option for an evening place to sit that isn't our own house. I am going to try to gently reintroduce the gym as a potential stress reliever though - not a direct replacement but another alternative (especially as we're paying for it anyway - something else that needs to be considered if it's not getting fully used!)

It'll likely be Mr C or his sister who sorts out house insurance for his dad at this stage I think. But yes, I will bang on about it again. I could lead by example by sorting out own house insurance 😂 Nothing really stopping me doing his myself, other than trying to keep SOME boundaries in place for my own sanity 😬 maybe I'll start the ball rolling...

@Staffordia well done on starting the POA - solicitor sounds like a good option in this case xx My own mum has finally done hers which is good. I'm hoping my sister will follow suit having seen the process. Not holding my breath with Mr C ever doing it himself, and I don't think there's any hope with his dad. Hey ho.

Anyway, the sun is shining, and I should be up and getting a wash on, and getting ready for the LPG folk, not lying around here talking to you! At the very least I'll need to remove the field gate that fell off and is lying in the field entrance - and for that I probably need to be wearing something other than my nightie 😬😂

Baileys_Babe

We are in a similar position @Greying_Pilgrim with OH's parents they are not aware of the additional costs to us of supporting them regarding our time/finances/health. We want to help them but sometimes they could help themselves more eg by paying for a cleaner - this would easily be affordable from their pensions. 

Occasionally I do get a little resentful as they have never offered us any support including for the 20+ years OH has been chronically ill. It just reinforces how generous OH is 😊

Cheery_Daff

Oh that's difficult @Baileys_Babe yes, it's hard not to let the resentment creep in sometimes, isn't it?

The sun is still shining here, and I have a wash on the line 😊 the weather is due to take a large dip from tomorrow so I might try to get another couple of loads dry today.

Spotted a couple looking at a nearby house which is for sale, so I popped over to have a chat 😊 Being nosey, of course, but that's what folk did to us when we came to look at this place 😂 they seem nice 😊

Shifted Mr C's band stuff out of the car, and now I need a plan of attack for the rest of the day...

Cheery_Daff

So, I'm thinking...

10.30-11 UPSTAIRS
* change bedding
* clear bedside tables
* put clothes away
* hoover

Nice cup of tea outside with a book

11.30-12.30 STAIRS
* hammer and sand
* hoover
* clean
* 1st coat of paint

Lunch

1.30-2.30 OFFSHOT
* big tidy up 🙈
* hoover
* create space for my new shelves and fill them up! 😃

2.30-3 FINISH UP
* whatever still needs doing out of that lot, and if none of it, then
* hoover downstairs
* whizz round with the duster
* water plants etc

3-5 OUT
* counselling appointment (not been for a while but could do with a couple of sessions at the minute
* pick up a few bits for batch cooking

EVENING
* Batch cook 3 meals for freezer
* flute practice
* blog post

That's a fairly ambitious plan even for me so I suspect I'll get waylaid - i imagine the stairs will take longer than expected if nothing else, and I might just decide that it'd be nicer to be in the garden 😁😂😂 but maybe something will get done!

Baileys_Babe

Cheery_Daff said:

Oh that's difficult @Baileys_Babe yes, it's hard not to let the resentment creep in sometimes, isn't it?

Yes, I try hard to shut the resentment down quickly because then I feel guilty which just adds to the emotional load.

As you say an ambitious list, enjoy your time relaxing outside with a cuppa and your book.