Missy’s full time working mum juggling act MF adventure

jwil

Great advice there from @Bluegreen143 and @joedenise.  

redofromstart

If you are buying lunch then breathe and be mindful of nutritional choices. Treats like nice salad and fresh fruit not processed junk as part of the same meal deal. Stop and enjoy it rather than eating on the hoof. Look around you instead of analysing and stressing. 

I think every working parent has been there at some point, complete with the heavy stress flak jacket. Breathe. This too shall pass. 

You have read my diary and watched me go through similar things a few years ahead of you. Sometimes you just have to be kind to yourself and breathe. 

missymoo81

Thank you all so much for your kind words. @redofromstart I really like what you’ve said and I really should do that if I have to get lunch at work, I usually just grab a sandwich, but they have the best salad bar… and thank you for your empathy. I really appreciate it.

@j@jwil I definitely do need to go back to my list and see what I can implement rather than not being able to see past todays difficulties. Thanks so much for your understanding and kind words.

@elisheba thanks so much for popping over, I really need to catch up with your diary. Thanks for the hugs. I’m going to give myself some self care time tomorrow.

@b@Bluegreen143 thank you for all of your advice and kind words. I’m going to have a good look and keep track this month and see how much I do actually save and make a plan from there.

@j@joedenise thank you for posting I absolutely hear what you’re saying, I am definitely going to try and take more time for me. 

I really do genuinely want to say thank you to you all for taking the time to post and give me ideas and advice. I do think of you as sort of friends with similar experiences of life and mind set so I really do value your opinion, unlike in real life where I don’t really have anyone apart from OH. 

Will post more about my plans to get myself sorted tomorrow, going to chill tonight as OH is cooking for me.

jwil

Hope you manage to rest today missy.  If it's all too much, just try and change one thing at a time, and then move on to the next when you've created a new habit.

debtfreewannabe321

Just catching up with you missy, have you got a paper budget or another online one aside from YNAB? I did a budget when I re-started back here in January and I documented every single evening what I was spending on. So say I went to b&m (and that shop is dangerous to me 🤣) and spent £50 I'd break the receipt down into categories - household stuff, food, garden stuff, toiletries etc. And each week I'd add up the RT (running total). I did this more for a shock factor than anything else because I was spending mindlessly before I came back here. Once I had that under control I still carried on doing it for about six months and I could then gauge how much realistically I was spending on cleaning/ toiletries/ clothing/ groceries etc. 
THEN I did a new revised budget with more categories to pay into. All bills and subscriptions came out of the pot first. We opened a new account and every pay day we move across just over a grand and that takes care of itself. We know then every bill is paid. 
Then I take out of what's left, groceries, any one off payments I know are coming then divvy up the rest. There is usually enough for our pocket moneys and there has been extra which I've been using to fund the EF and after that is funded will go back to MOP. It really is a case of unlearning bad habits and relearning new ones. I'm still getting it wrong some months. I've just started doing the budget WITHOUT including the child benefit which is around £180(?) a month..this is my "oops we forgot about this/ unforeseen spends/ misc category that we've not come across in the last few months" to stop us dipping into the EF. This is new...and I hope it will stop me stealing from other pots... we'll see if it works 🤣 I think we all have different ways of doing it and you gotta try them all till something just clicks. 

Back when I was on the DFW boards (hence my name) I took cash out and had envelopes which I found easy. Then banks started doing little savings accounts you could name alongside your current one so I mostly used that.

If there is one lesson I've learned which is the most important. If it all goes wrong and you end up with a bad month (or 6) don't feel like you can't pull it back. You can. I wish I'd come back to these boards sooner. I was gone for years after my marriage broke down (and I ended up in debt again) I felt ashamed and like all the hard work was for nothing. Keep posting and keep trying new ways it will click.  And the support is invaluable...I don't have any friends in real life who support me trying to do my best because most of them don't save they live off CC. So this will be your tribe for sharing and helping you find a way that suits! 
Sorry I do go on....right lunch break over. Back to unpacking ☺️

missymoo81

Hi everyone, 

I’m so sorry I’ve been MIA. Work didn’t ease up. I’ve been maxed and the children going back to school hasn’t made life easier as yet. 

Money wise I’ve had to pay for the holiday that was left over from last month. So things are tighter, but I’m still trying to save £500 this month as I think I’ll have to service the car next month and it’s due an MOT soon. So I’ve transferred that over to Monzo. I don’t have a lot left this month at all and we’re only half way through but I’ve got so much work on, I’m hoping I’ll be too busy to buy anything. I spent £62 on shopping this week, adamant I’m not going to buy lunch at work for the rest of the month and try and drive sensibly. 

Hope you’re all ok.

missymoo81

Trying to get myself together today. So have meal planned for the week:
chilli
burritos
bolognese
bbq
thai chicken curry
fajitas
pasta bake

going to make porridge pots and packed lunches for me and OH for work tomorrow.

work have said I can’t work from home as much, which is far from ideal. So my easy days at home where I get to do the washing etc won’t happen. 

Right need to get the children from school.

missymoo81

I made lunch today and breakfast and didn’t actually buy anything, so happy with that. Currently cooking pasta bake using a butternut squash which I haven’t bought for a long time and left over sausages from the bbq the other day.  I’m exhausted today, had the longest day at work. But lunches are done, washing is on and dinner is cooking and I am in my pyjamas drinking tea and watching Jamie cooking something on tv. Happy time.

Idreamofplants

missymoo81 said:

Does anyone else feel like there are 2 versions of themselves? One that is sensible and looks to the future and desperately wants to pay everything off and be in a great position when they retire and just wants to live in the countryside live a slow life and read books. But in the meantime wants to have a good job and pension and watch all the pennies

And then there is the other one, that loves excitement, spends money on a whim on meals or clothes and coffee or expensive but fun days out for the children and treats and spur of the moment stuff and loves a bit of luxury. 

I am both people but they do not fit together! And I’m the sensible one for the first week of the month when I’m trying to allocate money then it just sort of peters out and for the next 2 weeks I’m left with the one that just wants to spend money on everyone and not worry. Then comes the end of the month when reality hits and the money has gone and so the cycle goes on. I’m not sure how to break out of it?! I feel a bit like Jeckyl (sp?)  and Hyde!

just catching up on your diary after a few months off the forum and read this - it is the perfect description of how I am with money! still got quite a few posts to read through but hope things are going ok missy moo

fionaandphil

Well done on sticking with it today @missymoo81 not always easy on a super busy day. Just think how you will feel if you can continue and how much you will have saved this month. Keep at it, one day at a time x