Missy’s full time working mum juggling act MF adventure

joedenise

Maybe it would help to make sure you have everything covered by completing an Statement of Affairs from the DFW forum.  It would help make sure you have everything covered (just for yourself no need to post on here unless you want to).

Alternatively it might be worth signing up to the free trial of YNAB which will also give you a good idea of what needs to be covered in your budget.

missymoo81

joedenise said:

Maybe it would help to make sure you have everything covered by completing an Statement of Affairs from the DFW forum.  It would help make sure you have everything covered (just for yourself no need to post on here unless you want to).

Alternatively it might be worth signing up to the free trial of YNAB which will also give you a good idea of what needs to be covered in your budget.

Thank you! I have a good idea of what goes out of my bank in the way of bills it’s just the extras which I was looking last night, and it is mostly food, coffee and nit stuff as we have been inundated this year! I’ve tried YNAB but couldn’t get on with it. But thank you for the suggestions.

missymoo81

Happy Sunday everyone. I am just sat waiting foe the sains man to come. Didn’t go to bed until super late and didn’t realise I had booked the delivery so early 🤦🏻‍♀️. V annoying.

had a lovely day yesterday and didn’t spend any money in the end. Had an indoor bbq and a lovely evening with OH playing escape room games and drinking a bottle of wine I found in the cupboard! Good free fun but fell asleep on the sofa at 1 and didn’t get into bed until 3 but then was wide awake!

Going to have to have a nap at some point. Have some washing on and we’re going on a bike ride and picnic later so that will be nice. Will make some banana bread I think! 

missymoo81

Sorry for being quiet, crazy busy at work at the moment but will update tonight when home. 

jwil

Hope your day was ok

missymoo81

Really struggling at the moment. Work has been CRAZY busy, and I’m exhausted, so much more than tired, living on coffee and have been buying lunch. Not liking myself at the moment either as have put on so much weight, just need to break the cycle.

Elisheba

Sending hugs, Missy. Is there anyway you can sit down and work out some ways to make sure you have a decent work life balance, and slot in some ways to make sure you are taking care of yourself? If you don't, I suspect you might end up going off the deep end money wise, as it'll be a case of can't do everything and too stressed to worry about it for now.

jwil

Sorry things are tough, it's really hard when work is busy, that's when all my best laid plans fall apart as well.  Try and get some rest, go back to your list you posted the other day and see if there is something you can do to relax.

Bluegreen143

Oh missy, I feel like I can just feel your stress coming out of your recent posts. 

Looking at it through a lens of how your budget can help or hinder your stress levels - are you really saving £1k a month, which you’d said you could save a little while back? 

If you are saving this or near this, you’re definitely doing very well financially and I would cut back on saving (a bit) and try to buy yourself some time (whether that’s more convenient food or a recipe box service, a cleaner or whatever else you can throw money at). There’s no point scrimping and saving while being utterly miserable and stressed.,

If you aren’t saving anywhere near this much (I’m suspecting this is the case by your stress about your budget but don’t know!) then I’d suggest your budget isn’t realistic which in itself causes a great deal of stress every month when you continually feel that you’re failing despite your best efforts. In this case I would maybe try out looking at your budget through the lens of the 50/30/20 budget. 

Add up your salary, child benefit, child maintenance and your OH’s contributions to the household and see what your overall income is. 

How much do you spend on needs, which are essential bills, an amount for basic groceries (any extra you spend above this comes from wants) and fuel (I would also include kids’ basic clothes & uniform here but not your clothes)? Is it under 50%? If not can you lower it?

How much do you save each month between emergency fund, long-term savings, pension & mortgage OPs? Can you make it up to 20%? Once it’s at 20%, I wouldn’t kill yourself trying to scrape more savings out of the budget unless it’s easy because you have tons to spare. Remember that you are in the expensive time of life with growing kids who have activities, school trips, clothes etc to constantly pay for. 

What’s left, ideally 30% of your income, is for wants, including monthly wants like eating out or clothes and bigger wants like Christmas and going on holiday. 

If your percentages roughly fall into this, I would try to stress less about money as you will eventually get ahead, and if possible free up some wants money for helping you be less busy. If you realise you aren’t saving anything then that’s where you can look at why, are your bills too high or your wants spending? 

joedenise

That's a great way of dealing with money matters when you have growing kids @Bluegreen143 and hopefully will help @missymoo81 with her finances.

@missymoo81 you need to give yourself some down time - you can't be rushing around all the time.  Get your OH and the kids involved in helping around the house and don't try to do it all yourself.  If something doesn't get done today then there's another day tomorrow!  Stop trying to be the perfect housewife!  She just doesn't exist!!!