Missy’s full time working mum juggling act MF adventure

missymoo81

In other news. I worked this morning. I have had a lovely time in the bookshop with the children and love the fact May actually found some books to read as she struggles with reading. We came hike and spent an hour in the lounge with the Back door open just reading. May then did some craft and Roo chatted to me about his book. 

Everyone got a bit bored but no one asked to watch the tv. May went to the park and Roo helped me make dinner which never happens but bless him. I asked and he happily accepted. I was very close to just saying let’s get a takeaway as didn’t feel like cooking, but knew there was some chicken about to go off in the fridge. So we are having enchiladas. I’ve also cooked the other chicken breast which we will have for a picnic in sandwiches. And I loved having Roo help. Although I feel like I’ve spent a fortune on shopping. I hope it’s paying off by not going to the pub or getting ready meals or take away so much. It will obv be slightly different as treats and things are part of some days out as it’s the holidays like yesterday, but I’m trying with good habits. 

Currently sat in the garden, with my notebook and glass of wine, I abstained all week buts as it’s the weekend I’ve allowed myself one (two).

right budgets!

missymoo81

Ok, here’s a question, how much does everyone give themself as ‘spending money’ for the month and would do you include in that. There’s no right or wrong answer, I’m just trying to figure out how to do things, and I get everyone is different etc etc. I’m just looking for ideas.

thank you 

debtfreewannabe321

I give my teenage kids £20 each for the month (they're 15&16) and myself and DP have £100 each. Supposedly. It rarely ends up with us spending that much on ourselves we end up paying back into the budget for things we didn't see coming or covering takeouts or other bits. 
It's supposed to just be for personal bits we want so I buy my make up out of this and skincare and if I want to go out with friends I use it for that. DP uses his for computer bits mostly (his hobby is playing with and upgrading computers).

I think it would surely depend on what your disposable income is though. Ours isn't very much.
If I had the budget to do so I would put money aside each month for- days out, takeaway or dining out, makeup/ toiletries, clothes and date nights etc and then have pocket money as separate to that.

slm6002

My Mum gives the children £10 a month each, the older 2 have part time jobs so earn any other spending money that they want.  I put £25 into my personal fund - this pays for my craft bits, my exercise class and any other bits and bobs that are for me.  £40 goes to clothing each month which covers clothes for us all.  Takeaways come from grocery budgets so we don't get them very often.  If it is a birthday treat takeaway it will come from the birthday budget instead.

As you say there are no right answers.  As long as you can afford it, and no budget is going without.  A little personal spending money to keep you from going crazy is worth budgeting for in my opinion

missymoo81

debtfreewannabe321 said:

I give my teenage kids £20 each for the month (they're 15&16) and myself and DP have £100 each. Supposedly. It rarely ends up with us spending that much on ourselves we end up paying back into the budget for things we didn't see coming or covering takeouts or other bits. 
It's supposed to just be for personal bits we want so I buy my make up out of this and skincare and if I want to go out with friends I use it for that. DP uses his for computer bits mostly (his hobby is playing with and upgrading computers).

I think it would surely depend on what your disposable income is though. Ours isn't very much.
If I had the budget to do so I would put money aside each month for- days out, takeaway or dining out, makeup/ toiletries, clothes and date nights etc and then have pocket money as separate to that.

And thank you @slm@slm6002.

Thank you so much for that feedback DFW. At present I give the children £10 a month. OH has his own budget, I have given myself up to £400-£500 in the past without knowing.  But from my realisation a couple of weeks ago how much I spend I realised that most of it goes on meals out, snacks at work and coffee. So if I can get rid of the food and drink spends, I guess anything else would be hair dye £7 every month, make up maybe £5 a month. Rare spends on clothes, I buy the odd book and the odd treat for the children, cinema trips for them maybe every other month. Lost school items….. hair stuff, shampoo etc. maybe £5 a month. Gosh I didn’t realise how much my hair cost….

Thinking about it, I  need to not spend money on coffee and popcorn at the cinema and bring a cheap bag of popcorn and a coffee from home. Ok What else do I spend on, the odd bottle of wine, (I’d like to incorporate this into the grocery budget.) Children’s emergency bus fairs, and any extras they need. 

It’s the meals out that cost. But we just need to do it less often. I’d like to have a proper date night maybe once a month/6 weeks. A meal out, or cinema or a day out and then really look forward to it as it’s less often.

so when I put everything into my budgets.

I put all the bills in then what I want to save. Food and petrol budget.

And then 
£50 a month for clothes for the children
£100 for Christmas and birthdays 
£20 pocket money
£100 childcare which will end up being an average as some weeks are more than others 
£120 spends

This works budget wise with how much I want to save, but I’m not sure it’s realistic spends wise. But with mine and OHs change in frame of minds, I’m hoping we will spend less on going out. So we shall see, it’s the savings which will be hit as there is no spare money anywhere else.

Bluegreen143

My 5yo gets £15 a month (which she blows on stuffed animals 🙈), my 8yo gets £20 a month (which he hoards and never spends so has hundreds in savings), DH and I get £500 each atm 🙈 though it has varied, but it does need to cover all the below:

- clothes & make up 
- phone bills and any subscriptions just for us (gym membership when I had one too)
- personal gifts ie for each other, or for friends or colleague whip rounds (kids/extended family gifts come from joint account) 
- hobbies, books etc
- socialising, alcohol etc (alcohol doesn’t come from the grocery budget, my DH spends too much on beer for that!)
- any random naughty spends like work lunches if we don’t pack them 
- Red vapes so this comes out of his 
- plus basically anything we want which there isn’t enough £ for in the joint account we will tend to choose to purchase ourselves from our personal pots

I don’t spend all mine though and in the past 8 months have accumulated £1k of personal savings, in fact it was more before I put some towards our holiday, so basically I’m really spending about £300-350 a month. Red spends all his though! 

Realistically though, I think we need to cut this as it’s a big factor in why our joint account pots don’t have enough in them for our car repairs 🤦‍♀️ 

jwil

We don't have any formal spending money as such, just whatever is left after the bills are paid.  If there's nothing left, I don't spend anything but usually I guess there's around £200.  I don't spend on hair/makeup, and rarely buy clothing though.  Phone bills/ subscriptions etc are classed as bills.  Takeaway/toiletries etc comes out of groceries.  I don't have pots for different things, and just set aside money in accessible savings each month, and dip into that as needed.  I try to cover most things out of 'what's left' each month rather than dip into savings though.

I do track all of my spending though so know how much I spend in different categories.

joedenise

We're similar to @jwil in that we don't formally have personal spend money but there is money in pots which cover everything we need.  For example I budget for my waxing appointments and for DH's golf membership.  I budget £50 a month in cash which we use for some smaller items like my haircut every 6 weeks (I have a friend who comes to the house and only charges £7).  We have things like an eating out pot in addition to our grocery pot.  If we need/want something then there is usually somewhere it will fit into one of the pots!

fionaandphil

We are similar @jwil and @joedenise we don't have money formally set aside, just include everything in the budget. There are pots set aside for longer term goals and we have easy access savings which pay for holidays, more expensive days out etc. Everyone is different in what works for them and I suppose the trick is to get the balance right for your family 

missymoo81

Thank you @Bluegreen143 @joedenise @jwil and @fionaandphil it’s really interesting to know what everyone does. I’d love to do what I’ve said with my budget yesterday as I feel everything would be budgeted for but I’m not sure it’s realistic but I think I will try and give it a go and see what happens.

Going to have a look at the bank just to see how much I do spend on other things in case I’ve missed some things

Supposed to be having a bbq tonight, we’re still going to but might eat it inside as it is pouring. Roo and OH are having a crafty time together building figures, and me and May made a peg bag as ours broke and I’ve made a pe bag for her out of an old dress. I’ve almost done. I’m not at all crafty and it’s not perfect, but I’m happy I’ve done it.