+++ Whoops! Here comes the cheese! +++

redofromstart

I think it is a business account manager rather than the bereavement team.  I would be equally annoyed on the slow response if I was relating to a business transaction though.

redofromstart

Food, food, and not so glorious food spending.

So you would think that with the reduction in the household by 25% would equate to a 25% reduction in spend.  Nope.  The first few weeks I mindlessly reordered the usual things, and binned most of it as none of us felt much like eating.  Throwing money away.  Paying the supermarket to store products. Avoiding the freezer because I had to climb over a motorcycle to get to it, etc. Still happening but less as I am more conscious of it but once again today binned off milk, mouldy pitta breads and cheese, composted soggy veg and so on.  This isn't me.  I was brought up to be thrifty, to plan, to make the best of what I have. I can't control a lot of what is going on at the moment but this is something I can control.  I also want to lose some weight and get vaguely into training for a challenging memorial walk that we have planned in the spring.

What I think I need to do is a store cupboard audit, re-home anything left that we simply will not eat because that is still better than binning it when it is out of date.  Same for the fridge and freezer.  Then reverse plan to use things up.  Stop making vast quantities when it is only two of us who will eat it.  Start making things that he didn't like - risotto is a prime example, DS1 and I will happily eat this weekly.  Plan (and reverse plan!) instead of getting to late afternoon and thinking maybe I should do something about food.  I still don't feel like making a huge effort but we could eat better for less money for not that much effort.

The key thing is to stop auto buying things and make a conscious decision of what we will actually use and eat. A classic example is milk.  My default weekly delivery has 3 x 2litre cartons.  Turns out that mr redo drank most of the milk.  The one who doesn't eat used to drink it a lot but hasn't for years apparently. We are using less than 2 litres a week and I could just buy a new one in the co-op (£1.45, same as MrT) when we are running out. 

anyway tonight we had risotto with stuff from the freezer, just enough for me and DS1, no leftovers, and very nice it was too.  Small steps.  

The co-op obliged with bananas and some reduced grapes as I was down to two satsumas.  I resisted even looking at anything else (including thorntons mini bites @pennysintopounds)

EssexHebridean

If reverse planning is your thing, come and join us on the Reverse Planning thread over on Old Style. Some familiar faces, and a decent amount of inspiration on the recipe and meal idea front too. 

rtandon27

Ooooo yes - do hop over to SL's thread  - I adore the creativity of all the ladies!

PennysIntoPounds

Well firstly well done for keeping focused with your fruit shopping but you are very much allowed some thorntons as a reward for all you've achieved at some point!
Secondly don't beat yourself up about the food waste. As you say, it isn't you so you don't need to be fretful- I don't think anyone would expect you to be on top of everything at this stage of grieving and practical adjustment. Rehoming bits so they're not wasted is a great idea. Do you have olio in your area? It's such a fab way of seeing if someone else can make use of stuff.
And thirdly, do you have coop membership? They have a wee discount on milk (and other items) at members prices and their weekly offers you check online and apply to your card regularly have a further little saving on milk 

badmemory

Please give yourself a break.  You are going through such a lot & it takes time to make the adjustments.  If all that goes wrong is a bit of food waste you should count that a win.

LadyWithAPlan

Very wise advice above. - you have been in so much control on the paperwork side and the cars you can’t expect to have your eye on everything. 

I guess it’s also a stage of acceptance in having to change food orders etc / think a supermarket order for Xmas is v wise - my mum
has always dragged the family abroad for Xmas after every big loss so as to not to be at home and get upset by the normal Xmas routines

I love risotto and also the calmness of making it, the stirring feels very ‘Hestia’ Goddess of the Hearth to me. It’s that comfort of routine and home and making lovely food no matter what else is happening 
Have a go at making the focaccia GF I posted for you - it’s pretty easy and a lovely sharing dish straight from oven - 

EssexHebridean

I completely get the thing of needing to keep busy after you've lost someone very close - Mum and I found the same when Dad died - for a while afterwards we just needed to be dealing with practicalities - not as a way of avoiding what had happened, but just because we wanted to get the stuff done while we were also dealing with the rawness of it all, rather than prolong that feeling of it all feeling very immediate. That's not going to be the way it is for everyone though - grief doesn't have a pattern does it, and there are no rules. Just be mindful of how much it's practical to get done in a short space of time, and also make sure that you insert nice things for yourself along the way too, would be my suggestion. 

f0xh0les

You are amazing.  Sending hugs. 
Anything you don't want that is still in date will be accepted by your local foodbank or Community Fridge or as suggested Olio - if you don't mind people knocking on your door. 

redofromstart

Lots to think about, thank you everyone.

I have found the local food bank and dropped the first bits off a few weeks ago, now know where to park and how drop off works so it is a lot less stressful to do. Olio locally is very bread driven, but there is a thriving free group on Fbook. I rehomed some of the fresh stuff that way a few weeks back. 

Funnily enough I had found and read some of the reverse planning thread when I was looking for detail on EHs squash  and chorizo soup (DS1 ate it all happily). Tonight we used up jacket potatoes rather than freeze them, and there is half a salvageable cauliflower to use in a biriani tomorrow. 

I cleaned out thoroughly a few cupboards, ruthlessly would be accurate. Pots and pans rather than food, a new charity shop
pile started. Things that are too big for the oven etc or just too heavy for me to use when my hands are playing up. I found an unopened bottle of olive oil from when I stocked up as the prices started to rise so that was a bonus. 

Not sure if it's because I rarely sit, but the only warm place is my chair by the fire in the snug, and for once mr fluffy trousers has been and sat on my knee for a fuss and a purr. 

I think he is unsettled by the builders. Aren't we all? They are all lovely but still, people.