Buying a little piece of Middle England; Manifesting my way to mortgage free.

debtfreewannabe321

beanielou said:

Jealous of the fat f&ce jacket! 

The jacket is lovely! And bright red which I love. I don't wear anything black if I can help it (unless I'm pairing with something too patterny). 

debtfreewannabe321

LadyWithAPlan said:

Well done on the CS finds 

Great your hot flushes are diminishing 

my first ostregen had me feeling bloated - hence me switching to the second (Ostregel)  (which my body didn’t absorb) so I am now on Lenzetto -(which works great) -  you just have to accept you need to give your body time to adjust to the new hormones / then every few months review it 

I am now 2 weeks into my second testosterone and this one is feeling better already / and had no weird allergic reactions as yet (seeing cats this weekend so that may be the test!) 

I think I'm on oestrogel it soaks in within seconds...my friend who had it said it never soaks in on her so I'm wondering if there are different brands? Mine goes on easily though so I hope all the hot flushes go before the super hot weather 🥵🌡️ 
 

debtfreewannabe321

Evening all, I'm home after a very long day. 
DP left before I got home and won't be home until Thursday. Before he left he took delivery of the new greenhouse! It wasn't supposed to be here until next week, then they brought it forward to tomorrow. Neither of us are here so we were desperately trying to change it and it turned up with no warning today!!! A little annoying really as we live on a busy road and if they'd just dropped and run when neither of us were in, undoubtedly it would be gone by our return! I'm happy it's here but not impressed with the courier communication. 

I finished work at 3, it was quite hard going today as no one wanted to be there, me Included 🤷🏻‍♀️ and it was so hot in all the rooms I went in. Behavioral issues off the chart today 🙈.

Friend dropped me off, I had time to change trainers for sandals and run out to collect DS and bring him home to brush his teeth before the orthodontist appointment.
We were scheduled for 4pm and were seen at 4pm. 😲 I know I shouldn't be shocked at this 😂 but anyone who's at our other orthodontist (where DD goes- NHS) will commiserate with me. The appointment may be 9am there and you won't be seen until 11:30. And they don't care. 
The level of care and attentiveness as well was opposite ends of the spectrum. And the staff actually looked like they enjoyed their jobs rather than wished they could run away and cry or scream, they chatted and laughed with you. The other ones - well they have permanent scowls and look annoyed most of the time. X-ray, photographs, consultation, pricing plan, discussing treatment options...all done in 1.30hrs. 😲😐🫠😳👏🏻💷💰 😭🌝🤔 the range of emotions I felt sat there was quite astounding for just a routine orthodontist appointment 🤣 because I have DD appointments so clearly and fresh in my mind!! Anyway, sorry, 🤣 I'll be over it soon I'm sure, DS has an under bite and also needs two teeth out and needs the top and bottom braces done same time to correct it the under bite so I don't think he can separate the treatment into two (meaning I could have paid for it with two lots of work benefits over two years as two separate treatments.) ho hum. So I'm sat there thinking beggar me what and how can I pay for this. I think the best option is to (die hard MSE'rs who are better than me at saving and waiting please look away) *empty the EF* shock horror. I know. 😐☹️ And DP work benefits will cover £6-800 we can't remember exactly how much - and then I put the rest on 0% Interest free credit over 1-2 years. I don't know what else to do. I could ask exidiot who I know will say no. Or just get on with it. And do it. Whilst I still have some child maintenance to pay for it. His treatment will take roughly two years. So he will be almost 18 when it's coming off and that's if we get a move on. I will speak to DP but I am not sure how else to fund it. Treatment is a little short of 4k. 
Anyway right after that I popped to Mr T needed food for tomorrow and was trying to be proactive. Last time I did this job I didn't bring enough food and after 14 hours on your feet you're knackered and need fuel to keep you going. So I've bought food. I came home and made myself a nice salad with tofu and Marie rose sauce then I made some boiled eggs for DS lunch (will make a sandwich later with them) and I've told them both to help themselves to food tomorrow for dinner. I also made us all overnight oats for breakfast tomorrow..so two out of three of us are sorted for breakfast,.lunch. DD always makes her own. And dinner they're doing themselves and I will probably go and make something else to bring with me tomorrow. I don't want to waste my money on going to the restaurants in the area with everyone else to find nothing to eat (which is what happened before and that was before I was trying to be good on the GF). I also have some sweets for when I start flagging in the evening shift. And some fizzy drinks ( the good stuff though aqua 1ibre) to help me through. 

I still need to wash up and get clothes out as I need to be there very early to find parking. I'm being very lazy here and I will take the car even though it's less than a mile- it's more for the way back than anything else. I think I will be exhausted and just want my bed after that. - can you tell I'm having slight regrets at booking myself for a days work on a hot hot day 🫠🤔🤣.

Right I will crack on I want to get everything done downstairs and head upstairs to shower wash hair and I'll crash in bed with a movie and a fan on 😌.

beanielou

I take it DS can't have NHS treatment? 

debtfreewannabe321

beanielou said:

I take it DS can't have NHS treatment? 

The back log round here is years long. It took DD four years. DS has only just been referred because he had too many baby teeth still for ages then we have had so many NHS dentists it got missed and covid as well didn't help.

And one of the NHS orthodontist round here just left so all the patients he was about to start on have been delayed for a year ...ahhhh! and so on and so forth and then he may be turned down by NHS.
His teeth are no where near as bad as his sisters is. My nephew has just been turned down and has similar jawline, over crowding to DS.

So long story short I didn't want to wait 2-4 years to possibly/ probably be turned down (he'd actually be too old I think for NHS treatment in four years I think) so I've just jumped the gun and decided to go private. 

I am with several students at work who have only recently had their braces fitted at 18...they'd waited same time frame as DD. And one of them had also given up and their parents had gone to same orthodontist we've just seen and gone privately. And another was turned down so they went privately too (different town and different orthodontist though to ours). It's so hit and miss sadly. Which annoys me somewhat but it is what it is...the NHS is falling apart and we are better off many times finding alternatives rather than waiting only to be turned down.

I will find the money. I decided to have these kids and I won't let them go without. And if DD has the braces it's only right DS should get some. I suppose I should be grateful I got one done through the NHS and only have one lot to pay for...? Yep that's the stance I'll take on it 😆 thanks for letting me talk that through (poor DP Normally gets it and he's not here lol).

debtfreewannabe321

I'm finally in / on bed with the fan on 😌. And as much as I'd like to relax and chill I've got my budget book open and dental plan options in front of me 😆. I do have a movie on in the background too though. I just knoooow what I am like and if I go to bed without having run numbers my head will be running numbers all night long. 😉 And I need sleep tonight. 

So the interest free option is pay half upfront and then choose 6/10/12 months to pay over. Otherwise the longer payment options incur interest. And I do NOT want to be paying it for five years!

So my first option is to empty emergency fund out ( I had a larger amount to add to it this month bringing it almost up to £2k too 🤣). Pay the half upfront. I will get £6-800 back (have to check the amount) and that will immediately go back into the EF to start it off, once again. 🙃🙂. Then choose 12 months to pay. Second option I could pay double the monthly amount and just get it out the way, tighten the belt and it's done around the same time as the ski trip is done and I will have it all back into the budget to concentrate on saving.

The budget is fine for the payments as we have a fair bit spare at the moment thanks to getting rid of the car, carpet and any other little outstanding things we had). Also we still have after that monthly payment (if we go with 12m), £710 left for extension per month. And that is if I cut a few budgets to £100 a month instead of £150. So it's okay there is wiggle room and this time next year we will have paid for the skiing and the dentist hopefully so will have a few hundred back into the budget then ....this too shall pass, it's only temporary 🥴...all's good and well - I think. I will discuss options with DP and get back to the diary on this one. It is fast becoming a spend diary 🥴🙈.
However to balance all this I have from May 1st doubled my monthly OP to £200. I really would like to chip away at that whilst we have money to do so. (And I don't want to be kicked off the mortgage free board when I'm thinking of adding another mortgage to my sig to cover extension 🙈😆). 

Right off to enjoy a g&t and my movie 🍿🎥.

LadyWithAPlan

debtfreewannabe321 said:

LadyWithAPlan said:

Well done on the CS finds 

Great your hot flushes are diminishing 

my first ostregen had me feeling bloated - hence me switching to the second (Ostregel)  (which my body didn’t absorb) so I am now on Lenzetto -(which works great) -  you just have to accept you need to give your body time to adjust to the new hormones / then every few months review it 

I am now 2 weeks into my second testosterone and this one is feeling better already / and had no weird allergic reactions as yet (seeing cats this weekend so that may be the test!) 

I think I'm on oestrogel it soaks in within seconds...my friend who had it said it never soaks in on her so I'm wondering if there are different brands? Mine goes on easily though so I hope all the hot flushes go before the super hot weather 🥵🌡️ 
 

we all have different skin absorption rates, a friend was on ostregel and same dose at same time as I and had no  issues, whereas  I then had my bloods tested to discover I was not getting the right levels as my skin  didnt absorb it ..
I am sure the hot flushes and any cramps will go soon


The extension plans sound exciting

crunchy_time

debtfreewannabe321 said:

Good morning all, well this morning I am having a reflective morning. I spent a fair bit of yesterday evening crying and feeling genuinely distraught. I think emotions I had kept in for too long just came bubbling up. I eventually plucked up courage yesterday afternoon to message my sister, I had to re-word it several times as she does one of two things if I call her out on anything (she perceives it as calling her out when actually I was just asking a question- which was, have I done something wrong as you've not spoken to me?), she gets volatile and defensive or she deflects and changes subjects. She did the latter. And I had been really honest and bared my soul to her in a message saying how upset I had felt about our non contact and that if she felt it was due to me not messaging then I was sorry. etc etc. Anyway, she replied with a tonne of laughing faces and no don't be stupid. She had apparently been more ill than I had ( I had told her I hadn't had any energy for months and really hadn't done much aside from work and sleep so I was sorry if she had felt neglected), she ignored everything I put in my relatively lengthy message and told me about how her son had hurt himself this evening and was in the hospital (she wanted my symapthy and had successfully changed the subject). I offered sympathy and left the conversation (put the phone down). I was really quite upset and had no real answers as to why her partner ignored me in the street, why her son has ignored me when I've seen him and why she's not spoken to me. Same as my mother. Same as my father. And my other sister and I fell out years ago when I told her smoking drugs around her children was really not a good role model for them. They all took her side and well here we are. They all just got off a holiday together and I am the one on my own. How does this even happen huh. The only friend I have right now it seems are in a tiny screen in my hand. sigh.....
So I cried. AND cried. And it felt good to release it to be honest. DP was biting his tongue, I know what he thinks of my family, but I come from such a huge family (big Irish family on both sides) and I am stood here on my lonesome with no one. ANYHOW I refuse to feel sorry for myself, I kind of knew that would be the outcome and had prepared for it, still doesn't stop it hitting deep. However, I am a spiritual sort, I have done inner work where none of them have, we all suffered trauma and abuse and I am the only one who's done something constructive with it and has tried to move beyond it and "thrive" not just survive. I think we've outgrown one another. They want to discuss ailments, b1tch about people, be in a low mood and vibe and gossip. I want to discuss higher things and things that make us laugh and feel happy not sad. It's still tough.

I am ironically enough doing a "letting go" meditation class today.................. I will be doing this one alongside my student. I know what needs to be done.

So onwards, docs today. They better give me something useful this time I am about out of patience today and feeling raw, delicate and tired. Then I need to prep for the medi class and go to that and I will shop later this afternoon. I briefly debated going last night as I had a 10% off Mr L voucher but I didn't go so it's expired. 
I've been paid. Need to not spend it now for a week. After I had cried and cried last night I saw a post on FB, it was a solstice retreat. It is in the village my friend lives in, so I messaged her, and she said she'd love to go with me! So I am booking that today. If she changes her mind, I will go on my own. I need something to look forward to - it's camping though and I am not great at camping but am sure it will be fun  

Right best get going I hope to report back with a tenner spent and on some good stuff from the docs to help with hormones and hot flushes  

I just wanted to de lurk after reading this and say - you are definitely not alone with family issues.

Mine seem similar to yours and I also feel I have outgrown them. They like to play the victim and complain about other people when they achieve more and it’s draining to be around. Like competitive whinging.

onwards and upwards - although it is very hard.

daisy_1571

Even though you might not get a contribution still be worthwhile telling his dad about the expense? He might chip in something which would be a win

debtfreewannabe321

@crunchy_time, competitive whinging is a very good way to describe it as it is exactly what they do. No matter what is wrong with you they will outdo it. I remember once I had full body spasms and then needed to spend nearly a grand at the chiropractor to put me right and my sister outdid me with something else then when my mum had a hip replacement my sister knew EXACTLY how she felt then proceeded to tell us of her woes (not thinking to say, mum how are you doing?)

@daisy_1571 the ski money was due today............I had my maintenance but no sign of that £200 yet. He's an absolute joker. 

So I sit here absolutely exhausted after some very stressful days at work. Tuesday was difficult but Wednesday was even worse. There was a new manager running things and he was an absolute power hungry D.k. Over a 13 hour shift we had 2 half hour breaks and were made to stand in one place on our feet for hours at a time. The heat was unbearable to the point I thought I was going to pass out several times (we were in a large tent so we had a greenhouse effect going on) and when he said we could go early I couldn't get out of there quick enough. Today was even worse than yesterday I didn't actually think it possible I had seizures to deal with, fights (full on fisty cuffs), chasing students around so they didn't get into more fisty cuffs, emotional issues, self-harm, two students from other days came to find me to talk to me (and i was trying hard to have the mental space to deal with them all but it was tiring and I was getting confused and getting upset myself at overwhelm). One of the main offenders of the fighting- the one I refused to work with on a Friday. Why am I not surprised?
So I am home. The paperwork for the whole week is up to date as that was causing me to feel overwhelm at not having done it, so I can let that go now. HUGE task off my chest for tomorrow having done that. And I have sent emails to all that I had on my list to do. Every list is ticked off in my work book so am happy with that. I am so tired though. 
I am letting it all go----- GONE. 
DP Is home! I have no food in so he has gone to collect a cheap takeout with our taste card. He also put £1500 across to the bills account this morning....this is usually my job to remind him & I FORGOT! I never forget this. I am always all over the money. Thank god he remembered.

It's why I thought, right I need to sign off lots of work bits as my brain is overloaded. So I do feel better for this.

A tutor is trying to get me to swap my Monday class (not sure if I said) she is not letting it drop. She wants me in her class instead of where I am (Monday is my easiest day by FAR!!) I blatantly said no I don't want to really I have enough to write up on a Thursday and do not want to have to do it two days a week....it's the same class I would have to go in with on a Monday. She is putting forward a request anyway, I mean I understand why she is asking for me, there is some real complex issues in there, they trust me and speak to me, and I know them all well now and it seems silly to have someone else have to get to know them for just a few more weeks. But still, no. I don't want to. I will go if requested by management though. But not very happily.....

Anyway whatever, I am on countdown to the long weekend (1 day) and then the half term (3 weeks tomorrow), then the summer hols (7 weeks tomorrow 8 including half term). Not that I hate my job or anything, I just really love time off.