Buying a little piece of Middle England; Manifesting my way to mortgage free.

debtfreewannabe321

I heard back from the hedge company and I will get a refund for half the hedges which is good. Can't remember how I paid for them though and the payment will be made back to the same card...

I've been in bed since yesterday early evening. The headache and dizziness turned into flu like symptoms and aches and pains came out all over me. I started dinner but DP took over thankfully and I ate and managed to finish watching a film but when straight off to bed and promptly passed out. It must have been about half seven! My sciatica has been playing me up all night though so I didn't sleep too well. I'm very fed up of feeling so rubbish all the time. ☹️

Cancelled seeing my friend today so I'm just going to take it easy I think. I will write a meal plan and shopping list and get DP to go for me later.  We're running low on all fresh stuff so it has to be done. I will try and rest enough so I can get to work tomorrow. I do feel the stress of my job is impacting on my health somewhat. I am in a continuous cycle of trying to deal with people's mental, emotional and physical health issues and i end up taking it home with me even with the best intentions not to. I am on countdown now to the may half term and then summer holidays though so I am very grateful for all the holidays I get and the weekends and Wednesday off it means recovery time for me. So I fight with myself daily about whether I want a new job or not. 🫢 

The greenhouse is looking good and just needs the panels of plastic put in now. Can't wait to have that done. I am in need of some garden therapy and I'm hoping the greenhouse means I move away from being just a fair weather gardener to going out when it's colder 🫣🤣. 

Talking about cold...Since the hot flashes have stopped I've been almost continuously cold. I'd forgotten that that was my usual state to feel the cold more...it seems so long ago before hot flashes. I think I might grow my hair back to cover my neck 😆 ...

Right I will make an attempt to get up. I've already showered and eaten something but I need to move off the bed as it making my back worse. I think hot water bottle and sofa and a blanket and movie is the order for the day. 

Should be another NSD. I don't count grocery spends or bills on these days. 

daisy_1571

Personally I don't think its worth it to stay at a job which is very stressful to the point of impacting normal life. 

I did compressed hours for a few years meaning I worked a 9 hour 15 minute day 4 days (huge stress in the work environment) and used the flexi built up to have a full day off every week.  Between the longer day, the later arrival home on those 4 days and the fact you had to key out for at least 30 minutes so I was physically in work for nearer 10 hours a day, I felt a whole day off was great but I was really only catching up with tiredness and stress on that day off so not really an overall benefit at all.   Later I was able to drop to proper part time hours of 28 a week,  7 hours over 4 days (still having to be there the extra lunch half hour) and had the same day of the week off.  What a difference,  I actually felt energetic and ready to do things on day off which made the weekends seem longer and less stressful so whole life was more balanced. 

For what its worth, generally folk are at work, commuting to and from work, preparing for work, thinking about work plenty long enough  - a stressful and emotional job takes that up to a whole new level.  Use your holiday time and get cracking looking for a better job.     don't fall into the emotional trap of thinking these people need you more than you need a normal life


Dxxx

LadyWithAPlan

Again @daisy_1571 is being very wise. Your work sounds way too stressful.
Well done on also coaching your DD to see  a better path, good luck with DS2

beanielou

Be on the mend soon  xx

debtfreewannabe321

Aw thank you all, @daisy_1571 I have indeed open on one tab constantly and alerts to anything suitable. I am not loyal in the slightest 🤣 I will happily jump ship. Although I'm wary of giving up something that allows me respite on days where my energy struggles (many years ago docs told me I had cfs and the older I'm getting the more 'flare ups' of it I have). So I appreciate the regular holidays, weekend off and a day in the week off. That being said I also have the college app and job alerts also on my phone for a better position where I already am.....so I'm on the lookout for sure. I like where I work because even walking the commute is 25/30 mins tops. Driving - 5 mins. And it is two minutes from the kids school (I'm always mum first). That being said I would be open to other places close to home too. I once had a commute across London that on a quiet day would take 20 minutes and on a busy day 2 hours. I have been scared off of commutes now because of that 🤣. I always try to work close to home as possible now. I think if kids left school I'd feel differently though. The most I work in one day is only 6 hours (7 hours there though including lunch).

I went to work today. My reasoning is...when I'm busy I am not focused on my pain plus it helps with sciatica not to be sat for too long. I also have a distraction and that's good. I ended up crying a few times yesterday in pain and I've not been like that in a while. Since yesterday I've done lots of yoga and it's eased the sciatica up somewhat so that I am able to fully move now and I walked a fair bit to loosen it up. And then there was a big crack and I just felt ahhhhh relief! So that helped. I've taken paracetamol today for my headache and the other symptoms seem to have eased off- dizziness still there mildly though. So I was 'okay'. ☺️. We were actually having a fab day till after lunch when it all went downhill with needing first aid, security and safeguarding. But hey ho that was for an hour and a half and I palmed It all off on the first person who had more seniority than me 😁. 

We went shopping when DP picked me up. Just for tonight and tomorrow for dinner as we were out of everything. £30 spent but that included big packs of tissues (hayfever!) and coffee as well as lots of fresh bits. So not too bad. Will make a list on Sat and go shopping or send DP. Will get a week's worth of food then. 

I didn't sleep too well last night I think I looked at my phone for the time every hour up to around 5am. However every time my back and legs were hurting with nerve pain I got up walked about or laid on the floor to stretch it out. It did help massively. So early night for me I think. 

NSD I reckon as all we bought was food in the shops. Right air fryer has pinged best go do dinner. 

debtfreewannabe321

The ski trip still goes unpaid.
I messaged ex and asked if it had been paid and received a short response with lots of 👍🏻 and no I haven't. I've spoken to the school. And stop asking the kids to ask me on your behalf it's nothing to do with them.

Twit.

He usually ignores my messages so I say to my kids please ask your dad to respond to the message I sent him. He sent a message to DD saying please stop asking me it's nothing to do with you *kiss kiss kiss kiss* your mum shouldn't be asking you to get involved. 

God he aggravates me no end.

Anyway work is done. Wasn't too bad as Friday's go. AND I had to spend the morning with my old Friday group - the one I refused to work with. Because of shortages. The worst offender was in but his second in charge and third in charge were missing. Guess who was meek as a mouse and e en said hello to me without a gang behind him. 

I don't know whether it's hayfever or a cold but I can't stop sneezing and coughing and blowing my nose. Feel super tired after a bad night sleep again. Going to sit in the sun and soak it up whilst we have it and maybe do a few very small gardening jobs. I've been having horrible heart palpitations and skipped beats again like I was before. It seems to flare up and then disappear for months and then come back ...so annoying and causes me to feel very faint. So I'm refusing to do anything too hard this weekend. 

I bought a few new LPs and they've just turned up so I shall listen to those whilst sitting in the garden I think and hopefully it will drown out the irritating little yappers next door. 

debtfreewannabe321

The sun is shining! Yay! 
DS is off to paint fences with my friend. I'm going to do some gentle gardening. DP already volunteered for the SM shop 😄 so not much to do really. 

I need to prune my very long devil's ivy. It is about 10-15ft long. I will give it a good feed and top up the compost and cut some off and try to re-root those into new plants. 
All the spider plants I planted recently are doing well so they have a new home in the upstairs toilet. There is a random really tall shelf up there that nothing fits on (well I can't reach it) so plants dangling over the edge will be nice. And that will be a half dozen plants cleared from the conservatory then too 😆. Before replacing with the devil's ivy off cuts 🫣🤣

NSD aside from food. I don't really need anything....but I may pop out for some compost I will see how I get on with what I have first.

debtfreewannabe321

I failed on NSD. I went to £stretcher and got some compost and fertilizer and pots. I couldn't find my huge selection of pots that I know I moved here ...I bet I find them now I've bought replacements but never mind. 
DP is still working on the greenhouse. I feel for him he has to make the slidey gap bigger on all roof panels as polythene won't fit. I do NOT recommend the greenhouse for this reason. So if anyone is thinking of buying a cheap ish one and wants wood and also not very handy with the tools then they should steer clear of the billy oh one. Absolutely fuming at the fact DP has to butcher all the panels to make everything fit. I will be writing a letter of complaint about this. There has to be a design fault. DP has since goog3ld it and lots of others have had similar issues. 

I've re-potted lots of flowers that have grown from seed. I didn't think I'd have a lot of success but almost every single one has sprouted up so far! 

Lots of washing done and used the rotary line to dry it. I've watered in fertilizer to all trees and hedges and now stopping for dinner. It's been a nice slow day where I've just pottered at my own pace. I'm still struggling with head pain and sinus issues and dizziness though. Really annoying and makes me keep stopping when I'd like to carry on. 

Dinner tonight is a Buddha bowl. Think everyone is probably really hungry so I'll put lots into it. 😁 Just missing a table and chairs in the garden to enjoy it out in the sun...will have to put it on the list to buy soon.

debtfreewannabe321

Ooo and the refund for the hedges has just gone through. I've used the money for some shelves for the greenhouse. 

greenbee

Thanks for the reminder about watering/feeding trees and hedges!