Buying a little piece of Middle England; Manifesting my way to mortgage free.

debtfreewannabe321

~FlowerPot~ said:

Oh goodness I think we cross posted, i have just read you last post with tears steaming down my face and I didn't even know your lovely FLF! 
I am pleased that you're 2 children had a good time to say goodbye, you definetly did the right thing, it was his time. 
take it easy and be gentle on yourself 
Much love 
🐾🐾🐾🌈 Run free little one 🌈 🐾🐾🐾

Aw thank you flowerpot we did cross post ❤️🙏🏼 

lulabelle1

I feel heartbroken for you. As our lovely Queen said, grief is the price we pay for love. xx

HotDog2020

What a handsome chap he was...you definetely did the right thing and it does sound like today was meant to be. You did your best by him and I think he would be happy with the emotional send off, he knows you loved him and will always love him. As for the expenses...you will both be in work soon and it will be covered...be kind to yourself, could you use the credit card again? and do a 0% balance transfer? Take care, have this day for your selves and the rest of the month to get through and feel better which you will. I don't know whether I am made of stone as I didn't cry but had he been my own I would have as I have done. All the best HotdogX

pennywisepoundstupid

Sending lots of love and hugs your way DFW xx

dawnybabes

Aww it’s the hardest thing we have to do as pet owners,  but the most important thing.  ((Hugs)) x

KajiKita

You have been a courageous lioness in your compassion for both FLD and your children today. Well done ❤️
It’s very striking to me as well, that your OH was away when all this had to happen. A horribly tough decision (I’ve had to do it twice now with my cats) but the right one for them. It sounds like FLD was exhausted and it was his time to go. He was a beautiful boy 😊❤️

Be kind to yourself as well as your children over the next few days and weeks. This is a fundamental shift and significant loss for all of you. 

Light for ✨✨✨ FLD ✨✨✨
Hugs for you x

KK

ladybird1106

Sending virtual hugs 
love 🐞

debtfreewannabe321

Morning all, thank you for your kind messages ❤️ 🏵️ 
It's my DS1 birthday today so I'm up trying to put on mum head to wish him a happy birthday. I'm a bit worried about him as he's in Wales on his own, his partner is in Nottingham and we're just across from her & he's on his own..he was upset yesterday with the news (obviously) and now he's having to spend his birthday on his own...I've asked his DP to send someone round to make sure he's okay. She said one of his friends from school (oddly they both have the same job and were posted to the same place!) is going to stop by to share dinner with him later after work. So I will try to stop worrying. I thought you'd stop worrying so much when your kids grew up and moved out but it seems you worry more because you've no control over helping them when they're far away 🤣

DP kindly took DS2 to school today - his choice to go I said he could stay home. DD is in bed her eyes were so puffy and she looked so tired she can stay where she is. DP also stopped off at the vets and paid for FLD ...that was my job today and I'm grateful I don't need to do it. I don't know if I could face going in there right now. £500+ is the bill. It went on CC for now. I will clear it at the end of the month with EF if I have to...after all this is what it's there for. 😔

I've woken up dizzy as hell. I think it could be my blood pressure I get high blood pressure when I'm upset and stressed and over tired. So I'm not looking to do too much today to be honest. Just rest and decide what we want to keep of FLD before I take the rest to my sister for her new puppy. It will be nice to see it all being reused again and will turn from sad memories I hope to happy memories every time I see the pup in his coat or his bed. DD wants to keep some bits though so I will let her choose first what she wants. For me I need to clear it because every time my eye falls on his jumper or his bed I start crying. It will help me to clear it but DD seems to want to do the opposite. I will let her grieve in her own way ❤️💙.

Right off for now head is hurting with this dizziness.... Probably be back later for some distraction 🙏🏼🙂

ruby_eskimo

Oh I'm so sorry to hear about FLD, such a handsome fellow 😢  Hope you all find some comfort in the memories of all the good times you spent together.  

debtfreewannabe321

Thanks Ruby ❤️

I've made it to the PO today and dropped a parcel off. I drove there, I was going to walk it there a couple of days ago with FLD as you can see the counter from the window, it's literally four steps into the PO so I usually leave him outside....and he gets to say hello to all the passersby. Anyway, drove there and went to Asder and recalled really quickly why I never usually go. The stock level at this one is always low and they never have anything I'm looking for. So went to Mr W after that. I had a squash in the house so thought I better use it up and it's in the oven now with some onions, peppers, garlic, cashews and curry sauce waiting for it when it comes out the oven I will also put some chopped up large tomatoes in as well. I'm craving a good meal. There's enough in there for at least two portions too which is good.
I've bought brown rice too so will attempt to pressure cook that one later (never cooked it that way before) it's soaking at the moment. Have salad to go with it too. 
I'm going to hoover and tidy and clean up. It helps me to have a focus 🙂 I can't actually believe how affected I am by FLD passing. I wonder if it is because it was so sudden and I had no idea just how sick he was ...I feel like my body has gone into shock and I feel incredible guilt. I think my BP is raised and my chest is hurting a lot. I'm not bothering with the doctor yet...I remember the last time I had these symptoms and it was stress and anxiety causing panic attack like symptoms in my body from shock..I have a sensitive system 🙏🏼🙂 so resting it, drinking lots of water, eating good food and avoiding the public is how I will try and deal with it. 

DP bought a cake for us to celebrate FLD life 🎉🎂 I thought that was a lovely idea and it coincides with DS1 birthday so I can have a double celebration 🎉. I will light a candle (I had one on the go all day yesterday too) and say my own prayers and try and move forward with it all.

I've already cried the river. Looking forward to my curry it smells good. Think I will throw some coconut milk in too and maybe make myself a nice herbal tea whilst I wait till I can dish it up 😆. It's the opposite of a NSD today what is that called in MSE land. MYCSD? Most you can spend day? 😆 I'll try and make up for it by forgetting about October in a week and just focusing on November instead 🤣 sometimes you have to just write an entire month off eh.