Freedom and Independence.

Sarahwithlove

Why doesn't he just set up a standing order for day after payday? That would make the most sense. 

It may be time to consider CMS as it his bipolar flares up you could go a few months without before it gets sorted. 

debtfreewannabe321

Get on to CMS!!! My ex aubergine (can't insert the image here on laptop dunno how) told me over and over how he was paying too much blah blah blah and how I am such sponge on him and I just use him for money *insert sad face for him*

I moved two years ago, it was the mortgage advisor who said to me, do you go through CMS to which I replied no, he tells me he's paying too much already and I don't want to rock the boat....HE laughed at me and said, yeh I've heard that one before.....well anyway I got on to CMS, turns out he had been underpaying for TWO years by £150 per month for the two kids and before that my DS1 would have been on it too and it would have been £250+ he should have paid according to the online calculator. I was pretty angry tbh and applied. They sorted it out really quickly....he was then pretty angry but I didn't care at that point.

He's simmered down now and he's been late paying about 3 times rather than every single month since then and each time I text and say, hi if it's not in by end of today I have to tell CMS, okay? Ha that usually gets him paying.

Oh and same story here too with the cheating whilst pregnant, whilst bf, whilst staying at home whilst he went out to party and see GF's gosh I was a fool.....and all the while he was seen as the hero (soldier) I was seen as the sad sponge of a wife looking after his 3 kids............ yikes. I was left with a mortgage I couldn't pay and a rental property to look after (with nightmare tenants) and 15k of debt.....I am glad we've all learned a lesson on here...and I am here to report they're not all the same! There are some nice ones out there too  

Aimingforthegoodlife

I would agree CMS sounds like a good option, making it official might help take the strain off you chasing him as well. Always nice to have a reminder that you made a great choice when you left. Hope the staycation was great!

BudgetingBelinda

Thanks all! CMS definitely in my back pocket. We will see what this month brings! 

Staycation was brilliant! Family visited, kids had lots of friends for sleepovers, I ended up hosting 11 people overnight across 16 days! So fun but not quite the chilled summertime experience! Still pretty relaxing overall though! 

Been careful with the £’s, got a puncture and needed another new tyre so that hit the August budget hard. I think there is only a week left of building work 😬🤞🏼 I hope so as that has been a much bigger challenge to afford than initially anticipated. DS2 birthday in Sept so certainly no overpayments coming up, just the usual DMP payment but it will get me down to £1400 ish left of debt and 77.5 steps! 

Meal planned for the month and online shopped week ahead and one in basket- in line with that so I’m very much looking at groceries budget again this next month and ways to get it lower and no takeaways. 

Now I’m back home the garden is a mess and I need to do lots of sorting and decluttering. Hopefully a relaxing last few days of the holidays and a little reset to get back in the game for all September brings. DS2 refusing to go to his dads, has been for last 3 weeks so not much space for me time/much space for organising but we’ve been having so much fun! I’m trying to go with little and often for sorting, garden etc, just a little dent every day! I thought I’d done well but coming back from a stunning staycation house I’m seeing mine with fresh eyes and so want a more sorted home! For accountability I’ll do a list here for the next week 😬
• clear through storage cubes from hallway
• tidy/weed garden
• my bedroom decluttered
• big kitchen cupboard decluttered
• tidy hallway area

Right now it’s going to be a lovely day, DS2 out with his support worker this morning, then visiting a pool all avo and DS1 off to sleepover tonight. So today I’ll just declutter a storage cube or two, walk the dog and get the usual snacks from the shop for a lovely (and cheap) pool day! ☀️ 

BudgetingBelinda

A chill day today and some decluttering. 

Feeling a mixture of emotions about paying the last of this debt off. A tight month ahead with another building bill to pay, hopefully the last one for a while. And then DS2 birthday. 

October I may be able to do an overpayment to DMP, and November hopefully. I really want to hurry along and get debt free. I know December I will be finished DMP regardless. I am thinking of January and the rest of 2025.. being debt free, able to save and have a good emergency fund is just so exciting but I also feel nervous, I think because I’m worried something will go wrong! It’s been so long since I’ve felt content financially and the unusual nature of that is making me a little worried! 

I am thrilled to think about a savings plan, a holiday pot perhaps! Car and house pots sorted. I need more building work done, a new bathroom really but I’m hoping that will wait. I’m thinking about a brighter future and almost believing it’s possible! 

This debt symbolises so much more than the money and I want it in my past.
2020 I got out of the horrible relationship, 2021 I found my feet got a plan together and knuckled down to begin a masters, 2022 continued with the full time masters, part time work and a lot of commuting and long hours and 2023 I graduated! 2024 will be noted for qualifying and working in a role I love, paying off the last of the 20k debt from 2020. 2025 will be for me to begin to enjoy money and life more with hopefully less stress and save and have a holiday! A holiday 🎉🥳 oh 🙏🏼 I hope so! 

BudgetingBelinda

I sorted out all storage cubes, declutter of those and the fridge, did some gardening, received shopping delivery-according to meal plan 👌🏼💪🏼 batch cooked a chilli and bolognaise, cleaned and changed DS1 bunks, sorted and decluttered DS2 room (not that he sleeps in it!) washed 3 loads of washing, planned financial situation for rest of the year and made a wish list for the future! 

Beach day tomorrow, last blast of summer hols. Let’s go September, October, November and December. Debt and clutter be gone! Proactive and productive 🥳💪🏼 in spite of car/house/aubergine/life still trying to kick my !!!!!!! I’m going to get there 🥳

BudgetingBelinda

Whist awake in the night I upgraded my bank account and got breakdown cover, family travel insurance (wishful thinking!) and phone insurance included. So for £22pm I’ve taken off £41pm of outgoings, a saving of £19pm! ..-£228 annually! (I’m expecting monthly bank charge to
go up after first three months so I will keep an eye!) but not bad for a sleepless night! Also got rid of a subscription that was £10pm going up to £18. I’ll be looking into more bills for more competitive rates too I think. All definitely sneakily adds up! I’m doing really well on groceries so far. Sticking to meal plans and having NSD’s. A little top up today and hopefully not another big shop for a week/ten days if I really stretch it! £600 in building pot. Hopefully that will cover the last bill.. 🤔🤞🏼🤞🏼.
Uniform costs incoming (how to they grow so much in the summer?!)  
hanging in there this month again and looking for some good things ahead 🎉

BudgetingBelinda

Another bit of awake time in the night. I had a bad dream after a stressful day at work. I now use the awake times sort of productively and have some time to make lists/look at budget/meal plan! 

So.. started a pet plan at the vets, not convinced it’s going to save me much money but at least it’s spreading the cost of boosters/flea/wormer easily out through the year. Couple of ‘free’ consultations too 🤔.

Groceries… meal plan done and online shopped to. I don’t think I’m doing too badly so far! Ow checked the date and percentage into the month and perhaps I’m kidding myself? Anyway, I’m working on the groceries and meal plans. Found myself a lot less hungry lately so food is going further, kids back to school but they have been requiring a lot of snacky things that I need to calm down. Resisted a takeaway last night even though I could not be bothered to cook and wanted a ‘treat’ and the kids were wanting a takeaway… I had already planned my meal and half of it was made already and in the fridge which made it so much easier to say no to 💪🏼. 

House.. must do a ton of washing, at least and hour in the garden, clean all floors, and I’m going to set a timer of just 15mins for a bedroom declutter/sort and the same for the hallway. 

(On reflection I’m now editing this… scaffolding due down early next week so I won’t mow as they’ll trample a wet short lawn and short grass will leave it quite prone to muddy bits). Must do’s actually are much less than that list above, and a timer on these things will make my brain manage it better than a thinking of a day of rushing about to get it all done and feeling guilty for not doing enough .. rethinking it to: washing (3 loads sat? 3 loads Sun?), floors (20min hoover, 10min mop) on Sat, and the ‘just a little’ declutter (30mins) on Sun. Anything extra is a bonus.

Nervously awaiting (hopefully) the final building bill. £600 set aside in the building pot atm. DS 2 birthday pot needs more in if his list is anything to go by! Feeling anxious about this building work cost every month is just quite draining and reminds me a bit of when I lived with such unpredictably in a person. The stress that comes with. I am thankful it’s almost done, and can split with others in the building but it’s cost double what we budgeted for and gone on twice as long. Been cutting it so fine with finances again and I wanted to be overpaid to DMP instead! My holy grail was to be paid off in October… but alas. Still, very happy with 77.5% paid off, after next months I’ll be less than £1k to go! Wow. It’s taking a while to sink in.

Really stressful work day yesterday and DS’s didn’t want to go to their dads yesterday so they are just going for one night tonight (Sat). I will do just some of the house work stuff while they’re gone but I don’t want all my down time spent cleaning etc so I’m going to heavily focus on the solo 24 hours (though likely less!) of self care vibes and do more sorting Sat am and Sun pm when they’re still here.

Ok, eyelids feeling heavier, as I’m sure are the lids of anyone reading this rambling thread!

BudgetingBelinda

Last builder bill is in. Ouch. 

But now that huge outgoing is gone! Wooohoo.
ignoring the very dodgy bathroom situation and dripping kitchen tap all major building works are done. Looks good. 

First weekend in a long time I have two nights to myself! Had a great day, productivity pottered and chilled. Lots of bursts of sorting and re arrange and decluttering.
Rest of the weekend- floors, garden, hallway. 

Now for a beautiful sleep 🤞🏼👌🏼🥳

BudgetingBelinda

Floors, garden done. Some of hallway. 

Loads (puntastic) of washing done. 1.5 bin bags done. House is looking so much better. Feeling pretty content at the moment. Roll on October to be under £1k to pay off, house more sorted and building stuff done and paid. Also DS 2 birthday done. 

Chilled eve then a potter tomorrow to do rest of hallway organising and sorting here and there and some batch cooking for the week. Fridge and freezer is full and I’m happy! 🥳❤️🎉🤩 even though I’m still in the mix paying off DMP and trying to sort house and life I’m feeling the beginnings of being free of debt and in control of my life. It’s nice! ❤️