Watty's Awakening

KajiKita

Hugs for the trauma and flashbacks, perhaps a kind way of framing it, is that your subconscious finally feels safe enough to process it. 

Well done for getting out with WattyDog and VNM 😊 Gkad it brought you joy x ❤️

KK

debtfreewannabe321

KajiKita said:

Hugs for the trauma and flashbacks, perhaps a kind way of framing it, is that your subconscious finally feels safe enough to process it. 

Well done for getting out with WattyDog and VNM 😊 Gkad it brought you joy x ❤️

KK

I think KK is on to something here. I only started processing when I met my DP as I think my body, and soul, finally felt safe to process the past. 
Sending hugs, it's not nice and I hope you get the support you need when you speak to the MH team x

daisy_1571

agree, its like a stressful job and when you finally get a fortnight holidays you spend it having a cold and other ailments as you finally get a chance to relax.

Think of it as cyclical or onion layers.  You did the superficial, the slightly deeper, now you are ready for the even deeper stuff.  You got this, get it processed and out your system 

Freedom is ahead 

Dxx

WelshmansDaughter

I found it helpful at the beginning to commit to going out once a day. It was usually just for a walk around the headland and then I would go home for the rest of the day. There were times of day I felt better about going out so that helped as well. It gives you a small sense of choice, after all the problem is not about not leaving the house but the feeling of not having a choice to do so 

Watty1

daisy_1571 said:

agree, its like a stressful job and when you finally get a fortnight holidays you spend it having a cold and other ailments as you finally get a chance to relax.

Think of it as cyclical or onion layers.  You did the superficial, the slightly deeper, now you are ready for the even deeper stuff.  You got this, get it processed and out your system 

Freedom is ahead 

Dxx

A nice way to look at it.  Thank you.

Watty1

WelshmansDaughter said:

I found it helpful at the beginning to commit to going out once a day. It was usually just for a walk around the headland and then I would go home for the rest of the day. There were times of day I felt better about going out so that helped as well. It gives you a small sense of choice, after all the problem is not about not leaving the house but the feeling of not having a choice to do so 

That is so helpful  Thank you.  And I am glad you are on the "other side" now.  

Something that never ceases to surprise me is the shared experience here, on this corner of the internet.  And how genuine that is.  In a forum of anonymous people real life is shared, experiences shared, laughter and tears and it is all so genuine.     Thank you all for being company here.

Watty1

Yesterday made a lentil soup with a couple of red peppers languishing at the bottom of the fridge which we had for lunch.   Thanks to VNM I managed to get out twice with Most Handsome and also Charming Cob and then walked WattyDog to the local pup to collect the car we had left there Boxing Day.  

WattyDog just couldn't manage the walk so I stopped at the Church with him and VNM finished the walk.  The Church was just so peaceful. I sat and had a cry and then had a chat at the alter.  

I think I must have felt a little better because when I got home I messaged the chap who owns a local running club.  It is a huge club with little branches that cover all of Kent and aims to just get people out running.   Part of me thinks that starting to run again might help me mentally but I won't do it on my own and I can't face going back to the club i used to run with (a few of the women were not so nice to me when I left PPH - which is more about their lives than mine but I still cannot face going back) so I just told him I can't face my local club and asked where there were others.

He was so kind - suggested local clubs that are starting a beginners course, offered me some 1-1 coaching and told me he runs groups for local surgeries (sadly not the surgery I am registered with).   Reaching out was as much as I could do yesterday but I am thinking over the options.   What I loved was that he responded with "so sorry to hear you are having a little bother but well done for messaging me" which made me giggle, a little bother hardly describes it but in the same sentence it was clear he got it.    I'm not sure I will start running again but I am thinking it over, especially as he offered to find someone local to help me get to the club.

Cherryfudge

I see so many positives in your day, @Watty1: the lovely VNM helping you to get two rides (so that's good for the horses too), you getting out in the daylight, retrieving the car, being alert to WattyDog's needs (sometimes when MH isn't good, that awareness decreases), having the quiet time in the church that allowed some of the tears out... yes, struggles, but so many steps in a positive direction.

I always find running helps me, but it needs to be when you are ready. The chap you contacted seems nice, and now that you've made the contact, the way is open if that's what you decide to do. With icy weather due over the next few days, it may be an idea to postpone it anyway, as we don't want you having an accident.

Watty1

Thanks @Cherryfudge     

I've been to the doctor, been prescribed meds and referred.  To her credit the mental health practitioner spent a little time trying to find somewhere that would offer hypnosis as a therapy because she felt that talking therapy was not really the answer which I was surprised at.   I did explain I've already booked a private session but I did listen to her viewpoint and it did make sense.    

apple_muncher

I was thinking about you just this morning, Watty, in relation to running!