Watty's Awakening

Humdinger1 · 30 December 2025 at 4:17PM

Standing by for any updates you'd like to share @Watty1. I've also been in the position of sorting out trauma largely caused by others. I don’t get the impression that you're thinking this, but once I'd got over the feeling that it was so unfair that this was all my responsibility to sort - time, money, emotional impact - it ended up being the best investment I could have made in my own future happiness. I was being bogged down in every way by baggage. Keep going, you're fab. Love Humdinger xx

Watty1 · 30 December 2025 at 6:44PM

@Humdinger1 makes a lovely point. I once read a poster for centre point and the story on the poster of a young girl was familiar to me and I thought "there by the grace of god go I" and then I was grateful for the brain I had been given that meant I could leave home at 18 and go to university.

From the day I read that poster I have never thought it was 'unfair' but been grateful for the intelligence. The PPH trauma was indeed unfair but the flip side is I should have known better. My mum did try to tell me!
And again, it was unfair, but, sheer hard work - and again - the brains to be able to do something - means I am getting myself on track again.

In the New Year I can start to peel back another layer of the onion but today I needed a rest from going to the mental health practitioner, sorting out meds and referring self for the counselling team. I have spent much of the day under a duvet on the sofa binge watching Suits on netflix and then had a lovely walk with WattyDog.

Brewerspride · 30 December 2025 at 8:51PM

And I hope WattyDog is looking after you this evening.

I'll be cheering you on in the New Year as you peel back those onion layers. Onwards & upwards with support from your MSE buddies plus those around you in real life.

Watty1 · 31 December 2025 at 9:37AM

WattyDog does "demanding" a kong if one sits on the sofa with a duvet and so has to be shut in the playpen that was installed to make him rest when his back was really bad - shut in with said kong as when it gets difficult to empty he brings it to me to help him out. He really is the daftest of dogs.

Today the world is frozen and I plan to do a little work in my office so that January does not become overwhelming.

daisy_1571 · 31 December 2025 at 9:47AM

My boy had no idea what to with a kong. Just patiently sat looking assuming the food wasn't for him since he had NO idea how to getbit out 😆

Watty1 · 31 December 2025 at 2:36PM

daisy_1571 said:

My boy had no idea what to with a kong. Just patiently sat looking assuming the food wasn't for him since he had NO idea how to getbit out 😆

That is so cute. WattyDog prefers not to try but ask for help LOL

greenbee · 31 December 2025 at 2:45PM

Stinky is clearly more persistent. Although he does occasionally give up and either leave them until I go to refill them or bark furiously to get someone to come and deal with them! I've started making sure that if I put biscuits in them at night I break them into small enough pieces.

Watty1 · 31 December 2025 at 3:31PM

Despite everything it is time for the end of the year review:

So my goals for this year and the year that is yet to come remain remarkably similar. I checked back and my goals were written out (in the present tense) as "I am having fun with my horses, my business is thriving and growing, I am healthy, slim and elegant, my house is renovated, the garden is beautiful, I have no debts and a million pounds in my retirement pot"

I have made strides to all of that and it was a big stretch to think that is where I would end the year and of course that is not where I end the year. However I am now nearer that than where I was at the start of the year.

Current mental health issues is part of getting to be healthy, slim and elegant so I will deal with it My health has improved, in January I will go back to my mostly sugar free diet which really helped.

I'm not sure I'm really having the fun I want with the horses. I need better time management as the time that I would spend having fun with them has been spent growing the business.

The house is nearly where I would like it to be. I need to carpet the stairs, sort out the drive and repaint the front again - but with better paints this time so it withstands the weathering it gets
The garden has come along wonderfully - and I am so grateful for those of you that gave me tips and sent me seeds. I love my garden now, thank you. (The onion patch was a casualty of the wall that came down, better luck for that in 2026).

Debts - I have to address the credit card debt I have so that will be sorted in January (I can move some funds from savings to clear the card and I need to stop using it as a float)
And if anyone is wondering - I don't have a million in the retirement pot

but I am nearer that than I was at the start of the year and next year I will get a little closer still.

So for 2026 my goals remain the same. The tone for the year will be simplicity. Less noise and stuff, more peace and space. This morning I could not find the spare battery for the camera that points to the back drive. It means I have too much stuff. Still. So more decluttering. Less purchasing.

And a final gratitude for the year - thank you all for your company over the last 12 months, for being my friend, my guide, my sounding board, for delivering kindness, guidance and when needed a sharp reminders of what really matters. Thank you.