Watty's Awakening

KajiKita

Awww … Well done. 👏 I hope making contact with your old counsellor hasn’t been too ‘mud stirring’ for you but does make you feel like you have made a step in the right direction to help you and you can relax a bit now. 

If she’s miles and miles away, maybe after the first session you could do remote sessions?

KK

Watty1

KajiKita said:

Awww … Well done. 👏 I hope making contact with your old counsellor hasn’t been too ‘mud stirring’ for you but does make you feel like you have made a step in the right direction to help you and you can relax a bit now. 

If she’s miles and miles away, maybe after the first session you could do remote sessions?

KK

That is what I am hoping, yes.   I've also reached out to my GP as well.  My GP practice is not great and I'm not keen to go on meds but I think this needs dealing with.

daisy_1571

it might also be a wee but easier since she has met pph and will have formed her own opinion.   I'm sure she won't be able to discuss this but it might give you a bit shorthand rather than having to go over the whole thing from the start

(I recently saw emdr as a therapy, didn't realise it existed, lots of different types out there.  This one doesn'tseem to favour lengthy rehashing) 

Hope it helps you regain your equilibrium 

Dxxx

debtfreewannabe321

@Watty1 my GP practice is rubbish. I've slowly worked my way through meeting every Dr though over the years I've been with them (I don't go much so it's taken me a decade 🤣) and I've found one I really like who actually listens. And one I can tolerate because he will listen if I say, no I don't want to take that/ do that, enough. Maybe you could swap to a different Dr or try a new practice? 
Hope you have a good Christmas and it's stress free and chilled ☺️🥂♥️🎄

Watty1

Thank you @daisy_1571   I have been reading up on EMDR and you might have made a great suggestion and have found a local practitioner so I am going to give her a call after Christmas. Little point in reaching out now - although - I did contact my GP and have mental health practitioner appointment booked on 29th

Now I have admitted to myself there is a problem I can also admit I feel awful and overwhelmed.  Fortunately we have a very quiet Christmas planned and there is food in the house and meals planned so all good.

KajiKita

This is the scary bit - you are stepping out into an abyss and you’re not sure if there is a path there to carry you over it …
But you have all of us.
You have VNM.
You have RL friends.
You have RL resources.
All will be well, I promise. 

Sending hugs, soothing ones x

KK

Humdinger1

You are brave and beautiful @Watty1.  You'll feel better just for taking this step.  Happy Christmas love Humdinger xx 

Fortune_Smiles

Dear Watty, you've gotten through tough times before, and you'll get through this too.  In the meantime, it's completely ok to feel this way and it's ok to take your time.  Have a relaxing and restorative Christmas.  Best wishes, Fortune x

WelshmansDaughter

Experienced a similar thing. Am out the other side now. Sometimes we just need to hole up in our caves until the world rights itself again. 

Watty1

Now I've given up pretending "I'm fine"  yesterday was very quiet.  We watched two movies, ate left overs for lunch then were so stuffed that dinner was cheese and biscuits and some "picky bits" from the fridge. There is still lots of left overs from visitors last week.

Highlights: I was determined to go to the Christmas Eve village service as I've been most years since moving here.  The tiny church is candle lit only for the service and very full of locals.  The church is peaceful and restorative.

VNM made me take WattyDog for a walk and I loved that. I had stopped walking him every day (VNM doing it) but we chatted about how I need to re-engage with some parts of my life so off WattyDog and I went to the nature reserve.  Vet has changed WattyDog's meds to a painkiller as the fur on his tail has fallen out and the painkiller has made WattyDog very unsteady on his feet so we only did a short walk.

Then in the evening we took WattyDog to the village for a walk around the square to enjoy the lights and the shop windows.  Usually we would walk round the houses too but WattyDog's walking not so great so we got back in the car and drove round instead.

Other highlights: two hellebores are flowering which I wouldn't have noticed if I had not fed the horses early this  morning, and a  barn owl sitting on a fence post last night.   Barn owl then flew away very slowly and looked back reminding me I love the outside and nature. 

This morning I took my morning smoothie outside and saw the quince that I thought had died has a tiny red flower on it.   As I hayed the field (we are out of grass already) the birds were singing.  

I'm struggling a lot with flash backs and trauma related stuff but I'm very grateful for the support I do have and I am just trusting this will get better over the next few months.