Watty's Awakening

WelshmansDaughter

I like the a poem for every night of the year book as well as the others in the series.
Dad knew Daffodils until the end so there is something to be said for poetry.

badmemory

Over the last few very miserable days I have realised just how much more I do get done when the sun is shining.  Even when it is really cold out.  The curtains are now closed.  I didn't open them until after 9 this morning & then wondered why.  I am sure it is just me but I don't remember it being this dreary for so long.

ajmoney

Watty1 said:

The funny thing is that a lot of the "use up" meals are now some of my favourites!  

One of my favourite meals is bubble and squeak and whatever I can find to go with it. So tasty!

savingholmes

ajmoney said:

Watty1 said:

The funny thing is that a lot of the "use up" meals are now some of my favourites!  

One of my favourite meals is bubble and squeak and whatever I can find to go with it. So tasty!

One of my faves too and cottage pie - which when I was a kid was made using left over beef from sunday dinner.

LadyWithAPlan

KajiKita said:

Seeing you in contentment with a kind man is just lovely. It brings joy to me 😊

KK

me too!

@s@Suffolk_lass what brand were the recommended muck boots?

WelshmansDaughter

astrocytic_kitten said:

Watty, there's a poem by Wendy Cope called Being Boring which talks about the joy of contentment - ever since my 20s I've aspired to it! https://writersalmanac.publicradio.org/index.php?date=2003%2F07%2F21.html 

I really want to petition MSE to create a board called Happy Cabbages now

Cherryfudge

badmemory said:

Over the last few very miserable days I have realised just how much more I do get done when the sun is shining.  Even when it is really cold out.  The curtains are now closed.  I didn't open them until after 9 this morning & then wondered why.  I am sure it is just me but I don't remember it being this dreary for so long.

There's  a poem for this too: November. A quotation to hang on to is 'When winter comes, can spring be far behind/' (Shelley) or possibly 'Let the winter come and go: all shall be well again, I know' (Julian of Norwich).

Watty1

daisy_1571 said:

its lovely that the trauma is fading (I'm sure the 'lessons learned' remain) and there is certainly less mention of the ex in your posts, this is right and proper and means you are gradually booting the memories out your head making way for things worthy of your current attention.   Fabulous progress im sure you'll agree

Daisy xxx

Loved all the poetry chat.   Found some I really enjoy.  Another part of me rediscovered I think.  The ex boyfriend of so many years ago would not have given me a poetry book were it not something I would have liked but that obviously got lost along the way and the chat here bought that back for me. 

A joy and a gratitude so thank you

@daisy_1571 is right, gradually new things creep in and so the ex recedes for a while.  The trauma fades but then something happens that reminds me it is still there.   I try to remember to write my joys and tiny achievements down, to use my sunlamp on gloomy days, to get enough sleep, to smile with my animals and to use my hypnosis tape as often as I can (I am slightly out of the habit now but I will get back to that).

I do wonder now why i stayed with the ex, why I carried on, why I was sucked in and perhaps in doing so I learn a little more about myself.  I don't know.  I'd like to think today I am stronger and would stand up for myself more now.    

Watty1

Along those lines I saw the local tractor light up was advertised and suggested to the VNM we go.  So this is where the local Young Farmers dress their tractors up in lights for Christmas and do a parade route.  It is festive fun and raises a lot for local charities.    The VNM looked at it and then said but it is likely "he" will be there.  I decided that unlike the Country Shows of earlier in the year, yes, "he" might be there but we can pick a village furthest from where he lives and go there for the parade and I feel confident that plan will work and so we will go.  Nearer the time I will check the villages to see if there is a cafe that will open for coffee and mince pies.

The wanting to avoid him makes me think, once again, about selling up and moving.   Currently watching the Poldark series so Cornwall is a favourite at the moment - but - I would miss my life here and anyway the cottage is unsaleable with the overage on the land but there are times when just relocating seems a plan but I suppose the trauma would just relocate with me so I will stay put for now.

WelshmansDaughter

That sounds like fun, my nephew would love something like that.
If you are feeling ready, perhaps a look at the options for the route and picking one based on your preferences rather than whether or not Poo Poo head* will be there. 
Negative emotions often seem so huge we can find ourselves freeze framing them. You can honour the fear for as long as you need to, but directing your choices based on what you want is what builds strength.

*apologies I spend a lot of time with a three year old