Relationship with food

cheeky-peach
cheeky-peach Posts: 327
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Hi all,

Does anyone know of where I can seek support for help with my relationship with food?

I know I need to lose weight, but i can't seem to stick to anything. I have in the past had success with WW, losing 75lb but of course, the unlying issue I have, which is my relationship with food is still unchanged which means it went back on.

I've googled support channels but 'Beat don't cover my area.

Ultimately, I'm not anorexic, nor do I have bulimia, nor am I a binge eater and the majority of support is based upon these things. 

I'll eat three meals a day, but my portion sizes are, I know, too much generally. Even if I cut them down, this is when I reach for the snacks. Basically, it takes a lot to have me feeling satisfied. I can happily say no to things but I find I hardly ever get full to the point where I can leave something on my plate. Calorie counting leaves me feeling deprived which is when I go off the rails, and even cutting down my portion sizes doesn't last very long as I don't find I'm able to stick to it. 

I exercise and run three times a week, and I've tried filling up on fruits and veggies and protein rich food instead, but they never leave me satisfied either and I'm always looking for something else. Food then consumes my every waking thought.

It's really getting me down and I've tried to do this on my own so many times. I'm afraid to get fobbed off at the GP because the last time I mentioned it to them, they gave me tablets to stop me absorbing as much fat which gave me bowel issues. I'm feeling so depressed about it.

I appreciate any advice or guidance. Thank you for reading x
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  • Food then consumes my every waking thought.
    I am limited in what I can post because of MSE's rules about anything that they deem as possibly being medical advice.

    I would say that the statement above particularly, but your post in general, indicates that you might be using food as an emotional support. If you can afford it then I would recommend you speak to a private therapist, you could go via your GP but you are unlikely to get a referral, or any reasonable level of support even if you do.
  • Food then consumes my every waking thought.
    I am limited in what I can post because of MSE's rules about anything that they deem as possibly being medical advice.

    I would say that the statement above particularly, but your post in general, indicates that you might be using food as an emotional support. If you can afford it then I would recommend you speak to a private therapist, you could go via your GP but you are unlikely to get a referral, or any reasonable level of support even if you do.
    Thanks for responding. 
  • Savvy_Sue
    Savvy_Sue Posts: 45,809
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    How recently did you do WW? I'm not saying I recommend it, but when I was referred to an online group the stated aim was to change your life rather than calorie count. I didn't get on with it for various reasons, but it's just something you might find has changed.

    I've also used a book called The No Diet Diet Book, and that WAS helpful in removing your focus from food. 

    Does Beat have online support, if no groups near you?
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  • Savvy_Sue said:
    How recently did you do WW? I'm not saying I recommend it, but when I was referred to an online group the stated aim was to change your life rather than calorie count. I didn't get on with it for various reasons, but it's just something you might find has changed.

    I've also used a book called The No Diet Diet Book, and that WAS helpful in removing your focus from food. 

    Does Beat have online support, if no groups near you?
    The last time I did WW was last year and I find that I'll do it all week, go and weigh then binge after weighing because I've felt so deprived. I'm better off not being on a 'diet' because then I don't binge.


    I will look at the book though, thank you!

    They do have online groups but I'm struggling to find which category I fit into. Thanks for replying.
  • bouicca21
    bouicca21 Posts: 6,491
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    If OP exercises regularly and runs 3x a week, I find myself wondering just how overweight they are - or just think they are.  I don’t see how someone who is seriously overweight could do those things.
  • KxMx
    KxMx Posts: 10,546
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    edited 6 December 2023 at 10:20AM
    I've always struggled with not feeling full and thinking about food constantly - I'd be eating one meal and thinking about my next! 

    4 years ago I embarked on lifestyle changes (small steps slowly) and have now lost 5 stone. I weigh myself on average 5 or 6 times a year so not monthly certainly not weekly. How my clothes are fitting or how heavy my belly feels when showering are frequent enough indications. 

    Once I got to the point of changing to majority wholemeal carbs (I'd estimate 70% are wholemeal, 30% white) something clicked that fibre was keeping me fuller for longer and turning off most of the food thoughts.

    So whereas before breakfast was 2 slices of white toast, it's now usually 2 slices of wholemeal granary toast (which is delicious) and 1-2 pieces of fruit.
    Or a 125g pot of greek yoghurt mixed with fruit, with more fruit on the side. 

    I've also very much listened to my body, I am naturally much hungrier at lunchtime, so lunch is the biggest meal I eat daily. 
  • silvercar
    silvercar Posts: 46,739
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    I would say everything you describe is normal. Shrinking portion sizes leaves you hungry and you reach for snacks. Sounds completely reasonable. Don’t beat yourself up about it. 

    Small changes may make a big difference, distract yourself when you think of food, walk out of the kitchen. Put snacks in hard to reach places. Have a rule of only eating off a plate, so no walking around with a snack in your hand. Drink more water/ fruit teas etc 
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  • sheramber
    sheramber Posts: 18,622
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    Don't buy snacks etc. If they are not in the house you can't eat them.

    When you feel the need to eat , drink a glass of water, find something else to do such as a hobby. If you are occupied doing something you won't think about food.

    Think of a special reward, not involving food, and give yourself a target.

    When you lose x amount of weight enjoy your reward- maybe new clothes, a trip to the cinema or a concert- whatever you enjoy.

    Do it in stages, don't set unrealistic goals. Once first goal reached have your reward and then set a second  etc   

    At the end of the day it is down to will power.


  • calleyw
    calleyw Posts: 9,814
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    Have you looked in to Overeaters anonymous https://www.oagb.org.uk/ they are not just about over eating but for anyone who feels they have problem with food



    Hope for everything and expect nothing!!!

    Good enough is almost always good enough -Prof Barry Schwartz

    If it scares you, it might be a good thing to try -Seth Godin
  • Skiddaw1
    Skiddaw1 Posts: 1,982
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    edited 6 December 2023 at 1:52PM
    I wonder if Slimming World might be more suited to you than WW? They're brilliant IMO in that there's no calorie counting and loads of 'free food' (which may get you around the 'never satisfied' problem). I try to eat based on their principals and it does work pretty well for me.

    I do sympathise. I was born hungry. I was properly fat for a while during my younger years. These days I manage keep my weight within just about acceptable limits via exercise (thankfully, I really enjoy running and fell walking as well as swimming and gardening so it acts as damage limitation) and- as mentioned- loading up on low fat items. 
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